Twin Study /by Stacey Richter
https://www.salon.com/2004/04/23/twins_5/
Siang-seⁿ Gián-kiù | 雙生研究
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1. Góa thó-ià chē-chē sū-hāng
Chū-chiông góa hām sió-mōe 12 hòe ê sî, goán pē-bú kā goán pò-miâ chham-ka California Chiu-li̍p Tāi-ha̍k (California State University) ê Siang-seⁿ Gián-kiù Kè-ōe (Twin Study), góa tō chiâⁿ-chò chi̍t-ê jîn-lūi piau-pún, kàu-taⁿ í-keng 20 nî ah. Múi keh 4 nî, goán nn̄g-lâng, hām kî-thaⁿ kúi-pah tùi lâi chū California ê kāng-nn̄g siang-seⁿ-á, tō ē tī Fresno ê kāng chi̍t-keng ut-būn ê liân-só lí-koán kìⁿ-bīn, chiap-siū kok-chióng chhek-giām, chhì-kek, kap chhì-thàm. "LÍ CHIN TE̍K-PIA̍T!!!" ta̍k-kái kìⁿ-bīn ê thong-ti chóng-sī án-ne khí-thâu. Óa-hah. Góa chin te̍k-pia̍t. M̄-sī in-ūi góa ū chhòng sáⁿ, m̄-sī, tong-jiân m̄-sī. Góa chin te̍k-pia̍t, in-ūi góa hām lēng-gōa chi̍t-ê lâng ū kāng-khoán ê ki-in, hit-ê lâng, chū-chiông téng-pái ê California Siang-seⁿ Gián-kiù hōe-bīn í-lâi, góa í-keng 4 nî bô kìⁿ-bīn ah.
Góa lâi lia̍t chi̍t-kóa chit-ê oa̍h-tāng chē-chē hō͘ lâng thó-ià ê sū-hāng, hó bô? Tē-it, góa thó-ià hit-ê lí-koán. Iû-kî, góa bô hoat-tō͘ jím-siū i tiong-ng hit-ê thiⁿ-chéⁿ; che hō͘ góa chi̍t-chióng ná àu-kó͘ ê 80 nî-tāi ê kám-kak -- chiú-pa, suh-kōaⁿ mô͘-kin-tòa, neon-teng hóe-ho̍h. I hō͘ góa siūⁿ khí hit-ê khó-phà ê sî-tāi (tī tē-it pái kap tē-jī pái tiong-kan), hit-sî Samantha hām góa chiah 10 thóng hòe, mā tú khai-sí chai-iáⁿ goán pēng bô kāng-khoán. Tong-jiân, goán ê ki-in kāng-khoán, iû-kî goán kong-ke chi̍t-ê the-ui; m̄-koh, tī goán ê náu, hûn, kap sim lāi-bīn, goán pēng bô kāng-khoán. Che sī bān-bān hián-hiān chhut-lâi ê, sui-bóng Samantha bōe kóng góa ē seng chai yi boeh kóng siáⁿ, yi bōe tú-tio̍h chìn-chêng góa ē seng chai yi kah-ì sáⁿ-khoán cha-po͘, àm-sî goán chóng-sī kāng sî-chūn khí-lâi pàng-jiō, iáu-ū kî-thaⁿ siūⁿ-bē-kàu ê sio-kāng mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Tē-jī, góa thó-ià hia ê pâng-keng, pâng-keng ū tōa-tè bū-po-lê ê thang-á, ē-tàng khòaⁿ tio̍h iû-éng-tî. Po-lê tī chhut-ji̍t ê sî ē khí-sio, àm-sî léng lo̍h-lâi ê sî kui-mê tī-tia̍k-kiò. Góa thó-ià chiú-pa, he sī thap tī tiān-lâu-thui ē-bīn ê o͘ khang lāi-bīn, chiâu-sī hun bī, sui-bóng California ê chiú-pa kìm-hun. Che sī tē-saⁿ tiám. Tē-sì, góa thó-ià Fresno, sī chi̍t-ê pi-ai, phòa-lo̍h ê sió-tìn, sì-kho͘-liàn-tńg sī bô chīn-pōng ê lông-chok-bu̍t, bē-su sī chhài hái tiong-ng ê chi̍t-ê sió-tó. Góa thó-ià siang-seⁿ gián-kiù-oân, in tōa-pō͘-hūn lóng khai-lóng, chhin-chhiat, ū chiong-sin-chè ha̍k-chiá ê gōng-sîn -- chhēng-chhah lo̍k-ngó͘ cha̍p nî -- in lóng bô o͘-àm-bīn ê thè-sin, che góa khak-tēng. Siōng tiōng-iàu ê, góa kóng kàu tē-kúi ah, la̍k? Tio̍h, góa thó-ià múi sì-nî chi̍t-kái tú tio̍h goán sió-mōe Samantha.
"Án-ne tō mài khì." Che sī góa ê sin ang Ivan ê kiàn-gī. "Lí nā kiaⁿ tú tio̍h lín sió-mōe, tō mài hêng-ge̍k ka-tī. Lâu tī chhù hó lah."
"Chiâⁿ hó ê ì-kiàn," góa chin chū-sìn án-ne kā ìn, sui-bóng góa í-keng bé goán ê ki-phiò, tī hit-keng khó-phà ê lí-koán tēng chi̍t-keng thò-pâng. "Chîⁿ boeh án-nóa?"
"In ē-sái the-tiāu," Ivan kóng. I ke góa 15 hòe, khó-khò koh ū-chîⁿ, kui-ji̍t lóng tī tōa-lâu nih bô-êng khè-iok hoat-lu̍t ê khang-khòe. Ta̍k chá-khí i kā chha-put-to bô-mo͘ ê kng-thâu thì kah kim-sih-sih. Góa kám-kak i chin iân-tâu, chi̍t-chióng im-hiám ê iân-tâu. Tong-jiân, i khó-lêng m̄-sī choân sè-kài siōng-jîn-chû ê lâng, che sī sū-si̍t. M̄-koh i tùi góa chin hó. Chhiūⁿ Ivan chit-chióng cha-po͘-lâng ū chē-chē ta̍t-tit o-ló ê só͘-chāi, i hō͘ góa kám-kak an-choân, sīm-chì i teh lōng-chhia ê sî mā án-ne.
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1. 我討厭濟濟事項
自從我和小妹 12 歲 ê 時, 阮爸母 kā 阮報名參加 California 州立大學 (California State University) ê 雙生研究計畫 (Twin Study), 我 tō 成做一个人類標本, 到今已經 20 年 ah. 每隔 4 年, 阮兩人, 和其他幾百對來自 California ê 仝卵雙生仔, tō 會 tī Fresno ê 仝一間鬱悶 ê 連鎖旅館見面, 接受各種測驗, 刺激, kap 試探. "你真特別!!!" 逐改見面 ê 通知總是 án-ne 起頭. Óa-hah. 我真特別. 毋是因為我有創啥, 毋是, 當然毋是. 我真特別, 因為我和另外一个人有仝款 ê 基因, 彼个人, 自從頂擺 ê California 雙生研究會面以來, 我已經 4 年無見面 ah.
我來列一寡這个活動濟濟予人討厭 ê 事項, 好無? 第一, 我討厭彼个旅館. 尤其, 我無法度忍受伊中央彼个天井; 這予我一種 ná 漚古 ê 80 年代 ê 感覺 -- 酒吧, suh 汗毛巾帶, neon 燈火鶴. 伊予我想起彼个可怕 ê 時代 (tī 第一擺 kap 第二擺中間), 彼時 Samantha 和我才 10 捅歲, mā 拄開始知影阮並無仝款. 當然, 阮 ê 基因仝款, 尤其阮公家一个胎衣; m̄-koh, tī 阮 ê 腦, 魂, kap 心內面, 阮並無仝款. 這是慢慢顯現出來 ê, 雖罔 Samantha 未講我會先知她欲講啥, 她未拄著進前我會先知她佮意啥款查埔, 暗時阮總是仝時陣起來放尿, 猶有其他想袂到 ê 相仝物件. 第二, 我討厭 hia ê 房間, 房間有大塊霧玻璃 ê 窗仔, 會當看著游泳池. 玻璃 tī 出日 ê 時會起燒, 暗時冷落來 ê 時規暝 tī-tia̍k 叫. 我討厭酒吧, 彼是 thap tī 電樓梯下面 ê 烏空內面, chiâu 是薰味, 雖罔 California ê 酒吧禁薰. 這是第三點. 第四, 我討厭 Fresno, 是一个悲哀, 破落 ê 小鎮, 四箍輾轉是無盡磅 ê 農作物, 袂輸是菜海中央 ê 一个小島. 我討厭雙生研究員, in 大部份 lóng 開朗, 親切, 有終身制學者 ê 戇神 -- 穿插落伍十年 -- in lóng 無烏暗面 ê 替身, 這我確定. 上重要 ê, 我講到第幾 ah, 六? 著, 我討厭每四年一改拄著阮小妹 Samantha.
"Án-ne tō 莫去." 這是我 ê 新翁 Ivan ê 建議. "你若驚拄著恁小妹, tō 莫橫逆 ka-tī. 留 tī 厝好 lah."
"誠好 ê 意見," 我真自信 án-ne kā 應, 雖罔我已經買阮 ê 機票, tī 彼間可怕 ê 旅館訂一間套房. "錢欲 án-nóa?"
"In 會使 the 掉," Ivan 講. 伊加我 15 歲, 可靠 koh 有錢, 規日 lóng tī 大樓 nih 無閒契約法律 ê khang-khòe. 逐早起伊 kā 差不多無毛 ê 光頭剃 kah 金 sih-sih. 我感覺伊真緣投, 一種陰險 ê 緣投. 當然, 伊可能 m̄-sī 全世界 siōng 仁慈 ê 人, 這是事實. M̄-koh 伊對我真好. 像 Ivan 這種查埔人有濟濟值得 o-ló ê 所在, 伊予我感覺安全, 甚至伊 teh lōng 車 ê 時 mā án-ne.
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1.
I've been a human specimen going on twenty years now, ever since my sister and I were twelve, when my parents enrolled us in California State University's Twin Study. Every four years the two of us, along with several hundred other pairs of identical twins from California, meet in the same depressing chain hotel in Fresno to be tested, prodded, and poked. "YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!" begins the notice for every one of these meetings. Whoopee. I'm special. Not because of anything I've done, no, of course not. I'm special because I'm genetically identical to another person, a person I haven't seen in four years, since the last meeting of the California Twin Study.
Shall I enumerate the many hates associated with this event? First, I hate the hotel. In particular, I can't stand the central atrium; it gives me a bad eighties feeling -- of wine bars, terrycloth sweatbands, neon flamingos. It reminds me of that horrible era (between the first and second meeting) when Samantha and I were in our early teens and it was first becoming clear that we were not the same. Of course, we were identical genetically; what's more, we shared a placenta; but inside, in our brains, souls, and hearts, we weren't the same. This became apparent slowly, even though I knew what Samantha was going to say before she said it, and I knew which boys she'd like before she met them, and we always got up at the same time in the night to pee, among other uncanny similarities. Second, I hate the rooms, with their big, smoked glass windows overlooking the swimming pool. The glass heats up in the sun and then ticks all night as it cools. I hate the bar, tucked in a dark hole under the escalator, smelling of smoke, though smoking is forbidden in California bars. That's third. Fourth, I hate Fresno, a sad, crumbling town, surrounded on all sides by endless rows of crops, like an island in a vegetable sea. I hate the twin researchers, who for the most part are cheerful and kind, dorky in the way of tenured academics -- ten years behind in fashion -- and who do not have dark doubles, I'm sure of it. But most of all, what are we on, six? Yes, I hate seeing Samantha, my twin sister, once every four years.
"Then don't go." This advice comes from Ivan, my new husband. "If you dread seeing your sister, don't torture yourself. Stay home."
"That's a good idea," I reply with conviction, though I've already bought our plane tickets and reserved a suite in the horrible hotel. "What about the money?"
"They can shove it," says Ivan. He's older than me by fifteen years, solid and rich from practicing contract law all day long in a high-rise building. Every morning he shaves his mostly bald head so that it's totally bald. I find him handsome, in a sinister way. Of course it's true that he may not be the most benevolent person in the world. But he's kind to me. And there is much to be said for a man like Ivan, a man who can make me feel very safe even while driving very fast.
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