7. Kám sī hit-chiah lāu kâu koh teh chok-koài?
Yi chhùi-tûn kâm ân, hām-lo̍h chhim-su chi̍t-khùn, jiân-āu ìn. "Lí chai hoⁿh, taⁿ lí thê khí-lâi, góa khak-si̍t tī hit-chūn phah-m̄-kìⁿ góa ê kà-chiàu. He sī chia̍h-tàu ê sî, góa chē tī kong-hn̂g tn̂g-í hioh-khùn, kā chhiú-thê-pau khǹg tī tn̂g-í téng góa ê sin-piⁿ. Góa the̍h hún-a̍p chhut-lâi pó͘ chhùi-tûn ian-chi, m̄-koh, tán góa oa̍t-thâu khòaⁿ ê sî, chhiú-thê-pau í-keng bô tī hia. Góa siūⁿ lóng bô. Góa kan-ta sit-chù-ì chi̍t-ē-á, bô kám-kak hū-kīn ū lâng, mā bô thiaⁿ tio̍h kha-pō͘ siaⁿ. Góa sì-kè khòaⁿ, m̄-koh kan-ta góa chi̍t-lâng tī hia niâ. Kong-hn̂g chin chēng, góa chin khak-tēng, nā ū-lâng lâi thau góa ê thê-pau, góa tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē chù-ì tio̍h."
Góa tán yi kè-sio̍k kóng.
"M̄-koh, kî-koài ê m̄-nā án-ne niā-niā. Hit ē-po͘, góa chiap tio̍h kéng-kio̍k ê tiān-ōe, kóng góa ê thê-pau chhōe tio̍h ah. He hông khǹg tī kong-hn̂g piⁿ chi̍t-ê sió phài-chhut-só͘ gōa-kháu. Hiān-kim iáu tī leh, koh ū góa ê sìn-iōng-khah, ATM khah, chhiú-ki-á. Lóng iáu tī hia, bô tāng kòe. Kan-ta sī góa ê kà-sú chip-chiàu phah-m̄-kìⁿ. Hit-ê kéng-chhat siong-tong tio̍h-kiaⁿ. Sī siáⁿ-lâng ē m̄-the̍h hiān-kim, kan-ta the̍h kà-chiàu, koh kā thê-pau khǹg tī phài-chhut-só͘ gōa-kháu?"
Góa tiām-tiām thàn chi̍t-kháu khùi, m̄-koh siáⁿ to bô kóng.
"Che sī saⁿ-goe̍h té ê tāi-chì. Chin kín, góa sûi khì Samezu (鮫洲) Kàm-lí-chām sin-chhéng chi̍t-tiuⁿ sin ê kà-chiàu. Kui-ê sū-kiāⁿ chiâⁿ koài, m̄-koh mā ka-chài bô chō-sêng jīm-hô siong-hāi."
"Samezu tī Shinagawa, sī bô?"
"Bô m̄-tio̍h. Sī tī Higashioi (東大井). Goán hōe-siā sī tī Takanawa (高輪), tah taksi khì chin kín," yi kóng. Yi lia̍h góa hòⁿ-kî khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē. "Lí jīn-ûi che ū siáⁿ koan-liân sioh? Tī góa bē-kì-tit ka-tī ê miâ hām góa phah-m̄-kìⁿ kà-chiàu tiong-kan?"
Góa kóaⁿ-kín iô-thâu. Góa bē-tàng khì kóng-khí hit-ê Shinagawa Kâu ê kò͘-sū.
"Bô lah, góa bô jīn-ûi ū siáⁿ koan-liân," góa kóng. "Tú-hó góa ê thâu-khak án-ne siūⁿ tio̍h lah. In-ūi he mā ū lí ê miâ tī leh."
Yi khòaⁿ khí-lâi bô siong-sìn. Góa chai ū hong-hiám, m̄-koh iáu ū chi̍t-ê tiōng-iàu ê būn-tê góa su-iàu mn̄g.
"Sūn-sòa chhéng-kàu chi̍t-ē, chòe-kīn lí kám ū khòaⁿ tio̍h kâu?"
"Kâu?" yi mn̄g. "Lí sī kóng kâu-san tōng-bu̍t?"
"Tio̍h, chin-chiàⁿ ê oa̍h kâu," góa kóng.
Yi iô-thâu. "Góa í-keng kúi-ā nî bô khòaⁿ tio̍h kâu ah lah. M̄-koán sī tī tōng-bu̍t-hn̂g a̍h sī tó-ūi."
Kám sī hit-chiah Shinagawa Kâu koh teh chok-koài? A̍h sī pa̍t-chiah kâu chhau i ê phiat-pō͘ teh hoān-àn ah? (Chi̍t-chiah copy kâu?) A̍h-sī pa̍t-hāng m̄-sī kâu ê mi̍h teh án-ne chò?
Góa chin-chiàⁿ m̄-káⁿ siūⁿ hit-chiah Shinagawa Kâu koh tńg-lâi thau lâng-miâ ah. I bat kă kóng kah chin téng-chin, sim-lāi ū chhit-ê cha-bó͘ miâ, í-keng ū-kàu ah, i chin hoaⁿ-hí ē-tàng tī hit-ê un-chôaⁿ sió-tìn tō͘ kòe i só͘ chhun ê sèⁿ-miā. I ká-ná kóng kah chin sêng-khún. M̄-koh, hoān-sè hit-chiah kâu ū bān-sèng ê sim-lí būn-tê, bô hoat-tō͘ kan-ta khò lí-sèng lâi khòng-chè. MMā ū khó-lêng, i ê pēⁿ, hām i ê dopamine, teh pek i án-ne chò! Hoān-sè in-ūi án-ne, i koh tńg-lâi Shinagawa chit-ê lāu só͘-chāi, koh tńg-lâi chò kòe-khì ê pháiⁿ si̍p-koàn.
Hoān-sè, ū-sî góa ka-tī mā lâi chhì khòaⁿ-māi. Tī khùn bē-khì ê àm-mê, ū-sî góa mā ū chit-khoán sûi-ì, hó-sńg ê siūⁿ-hoat. Góa boeh thau góa só͘ ài ê cha-bó͘ ê sin-hūn-chèng a̍h yi ê miâ-pâi, ná laser /léjèr/ án-ne kim-kim khòaⁿ, kā yi ê miâ khiú kàu góa ê sim-lāi, kō͘ án-ne lâi tit-tio̍h chi̍t pō͘-hūn ê yi, oân-choân kui hō͘ góa ka-tī. Án-ne ê kám-kak sī siáⁿ-khoán?
Bē-sái, che bô khó-lêng hoat-seng. Góa ê kha-chhiú bô hiah liú-lia̍h, éng-oán bô hoat-tō͘ thau tio̍h sio̍k tī pa̍t-lâng ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Sui-bóng he m̄-sī si̍t-chit ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ, chit-chióng thau mā bô hoān-hoat.
Ke̍k-toan ê ài, ke̍k-toan ê ko͘-toaⁿ. Án-ne liáu-āu, ta̍k-kái góa nā thiaⁿ Bruckner kau-hióng-khek, góa lóng ē siūⁿ tio̍h Shinagawa Kâu ê jîn-seng. Góa sióng-siōng tī un-chôaⁿ sió-tìn ê hit-chiah lāu kâu-san, tī phòa-kū kheh-chàn ê lâu-kông, khùn tī po̍h-po̍h ê phōe-toaⁿ nih. Góa koh siūⁿ tio̍h hiah-ê tām-sám -- kakipi hām jiû-hî-koaⁿ -- goán khò tī piah, ná chò-hóe lim bihlù koh ná hiáng-siū.
Chū-chiông hit-kái, góa bô koh kìⁿ tio̍h hit-ê lí-hêng cha̍p-chì ê súi pian-chi̍p, só͘-í góa mā m̄-chai yi ê miâ āu-lâi cho-siū tio̍h siáⁿ ūn-miā. Góa hi-bōng he bô chō-sêng yi chin-chiàⁿ ê khùn-lân. Chóng-kóng, yi sī bû-ko͘. Yi bô hoān siáⁿ m̄-tio̍h. Góa kám-kak gāi-gio̍h, m̄-koh góa iáu-sī bē-tàng kā yi kóng-chhut Shinagawa Kâu ê tāi-chì.
(Soah)
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7. 敢是彼隻老𤠣 koh teh 作怪?
她喙唇含絚, 陷落深思一睏, 然後應. "你知 hoⁿh, 今你提起來, 我確實 tī 彼陣拍毋見我 ê 駕照. 彼是食晝 ê 時, 我坐 tī 公園長椅歇睏, kā 手提包囥 tī 長椅頂我 ê 身邊. 我提粉盒出來補喙唇胭脂, 毋過, 等我越頭看 ê 時, 手提包已經無 tī 遐. 我想攏無. 我干焦失注意一下仔, 無感覺附近有人, mā 無聽著跤步聲. 我四界看, 毋過干焦我一人 tī 遐 niâ. 公園真靜, 我真確定, 若有人來偷我 ê 提包, 我定著會注意著."
我等她繼續講.
"毋過, 奇怪 ê 毋但 án-ne niā-niā. 彼下晡, 我接著警局 ê 電話, 講我 ê 提包揣著 ah. 彼 hông 囥 tī 公園邊一个小派出所外口. 現金猶 tī leh, koh 有我 ê 信用卡, ATM 卡, 手機仔. 攏猶 tī 遐, 無動過. 干焦是我 ê 駕駛執照拍毋見. 彼个警察相當著驚. 是啥人會毋提現金, 干焦提駕照, koh kā 提包囥 tī 派出所外口?"
我恬恬嘆一口氣, 毋過啥 to 無講.
"這是三月底 ê 代誌. 真緊, 我隨去 Samezu (鮫洲) 監理站申請一張新 ê 駕照. 規个事件誠怪, 毋過 mā 佳哉無造成任何傷害."
"Samezu tī Shinagawa, 是無?"
"無毋著. 是 tī Higashioi (東大井). 阮會社是 tī Takanawa (高輪), 搭 taksi 去真緊," 她講. 她掠我好奇看一下. "你認為這有啥關連 sioh? Tī 我袂記得家己 ê 名和我拍毋見駕照中間?"
我趕緊搖頭. 我袂當去講起彼个 Shinagawa 猴 ê 故事.
"無 lah, 我無認為有啥關連," 我講. "拄好我 ê 頭殼 án-ne 想著 lah. 因為彼 mā 有你 ê 名 tī leh."
她看起來無相信. 我知有風險, 毋過猶有一个重要 ê 問題我需要問.
"順紲請教一下, 最近你敢有看著猴?"
"猴?" 她問. "你是講猴山動物?"
"著, 真正 ê 活猴," 我講.
她搖頭. "我已經幾若年無看著猴 ah lah. 毋管是 tī 動物園抑是佗位."
敢是彼隻 Shinagawa 猴 koh teh 作怪? 抑是別隻猴抄伊 ê 撇步 teh 犯案 ah? (一隻 copy 猴?) 抑是別項毋是猴 ê 物 teh án-ne 做?
我真正毋敢想彼隻 Shinagawa 猴 koh 轉來偷人名 ah. 伊捌 kă 講甲真頂真, 心內有七个查某名, 已經有夠 ah, 伊真歡喜會當 tī 彼个溫泉小鎮度過伊所賰 ê 性命. 伊敢若講甲真誠懇. 毋過, 凡勢彼隻猴有慢性 ê 心理問題, 無法度干焦靠理性來控制. Mā 有可能, 伊 ê 病, 和伊 ê dopamine, teh 迫伊 án-ne 做! 凡勢因為 án-ne, 伊 koh 轉來 Shinagawa 這个老所在, koh 轉來做過去 ê 歹習慣.
凡勢, 有時我家己 mā 來試看覓. Tī 睏袂去 ê 暗暝, 有時我 mā 有這款隨意, 好耍 ê 想法. 我欲偷我所愛 ê 查某 ê 身份證 a̍h 她 ê 名牌, ná laser /léjèr/ án-ne 金金看, kā 她 ê 名搝到我 ê 心內, kō͘ án-ne 來得著一部份 ê 她, 完全歸予我家己. Án-ne ê 感覺是啥款?
袂使, 這無可能發生. 我 ê 跤手無 hiah 扭掠, 永遠無法度偷著屬 tī 別人 ê 物件. 雖罔彼毋是實質 ê 物件, 這種偷 mā 無犯法.
極端 ê 愛, 極端 ê 孤單. Án-ne 了後, 逐改我若聽 Bruckner 交響曲, 我攏會想著 Shinagawa 猴 ê 人生. 我想像 tī 溫泉小鎮 ê 彼隻老猴山, tī 破舊客棧 ê 樓栱, 睏 tī 薄薄 ê 被單 nih. 我 koh 想著 hiah-ê 啖糝 -- kakipi 和鰇魚乾 -- 阮靠 tī 壁, ná 做伙啉 bihlù koh ná 享受.
自從彼改, 我無閣見著彼个旅行雜誌 ê 媠編輯, 所以我 mā 毋知她 ê 名後來遭受著啥運命. 我希望彼無造成她真正 ê 困難. 總講, 她是無辜. 她無犯啥毋著. 我感覺礙虐, 毋過我猶是袂當 kā 她講出 Shinagawa 猴 ê 代誌.
(煞)
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7.
She pursed her lips, lost in thought for a while, then replied. “You know, now that you mention it, I did lose my driver’s license back then. It was lunchtime and I was sitting on a park bench, taking a break, and I put my handbag right next to me on the bench. I was redoing my lipstick with my compact, and, when I looked back, the handbag was gone. I couldn’t understand it. I’d looked away for only a second, and I didn’t sense anyone nearby or hear any footsteps. I looked around, but I was alone. It was a quiet park, and I’m sure if somebody had come to steal my bag I would have noticed it.”
I waited for her to go on.
“But that’s not all that was strange. That same afternoon I got a call from the police, saying that my handbag had been found. It had been set outside a small police station near the park. The cash was still inside, as were my credit cards, A.T.M. card, and cell phone. All there, untouched. Only my driver’s license was gone. The policeman was quite surprised. Who doesn’t take the cash, only the license, and leaves the bag right outside a police station?”
I sighed quietly, but said nothing.
“This was the end of March. Right away, I went to the Motor Vehicles office in Samezu and had them issue a new license. The whole incident was pretty weird, but fortunately there wasn’t any real harm done.”
“Samezu is in Shinagawa, isn’t it?”
“That’s right. It’s in Higashioi. My company’s in Takanawa, so it’s a quick taxi ride,” she said. She gave me a doubtful look. “Do you think there’s a connection? Between me not remembering my name and losing my license?”
I quickly shook my head. I couldn’t exactly bring up the story of the Shinagawa Monkey.
“No, I don’t think there’s a connection,” I said. “It just sort of popped into my head. Since it involves your name.”
She looked unconvinced. I knew it was risky, but there was one more vital question I had to ask.
“By the way, have you seen any monkeys lately?”
“Monkeys?” she asked. “You mean the animals?”
“Yes, real live monkeys,” I said.
She shook her head. “I don’t think I’ve seen a monkey for years. Not in a zoo, or anywhere else.”
Was the Shinagawa Monkey back to his old tricks? Or was another monkey using his M.O. to commit the same crime? (A copy monkey?) Or was something else, other than a monkey, doing this?
I really didn’t want to think that the Shinagawa Monkey was back to stealing names. He’d told me, quite matter-of-factly, that having seven women’s names tucked inside him was plenty, and that he was happy simply living out his remaining years quietly in that little hot-springs town. And he’d seemed to mean it. But maybe the monkey had a chronic psychological condition, one that reason alone couldn’t hold in check. And maybe his illness, and his dopamine, were urging him to just do it! And perhaps all that had brought him back to his old haunts in Shinagawa, back to his former, pernicious habits.
Maybe I’ll try it myself sometime. On sleepless nights, that random, fanciful thought sometimes comes to me. I’ll filch the I.D. or the nametag of a woman I love, focus on it like a laser, pull her name inside me, and possess a part of her, all to myself. What would that feel like?
No. That’ll never happen. I’ve never been deft with my hands, and would never be able to steal something that belonged to someone else. Even if that something had no physical form, and stealing it wasn’t against the law.
Extreme love, extreme loneliness. Ever since then, whenever I listen to a Bruckner symphony I ponder that Shinagawa Monkey’s personal life. I picture the elderly monkey in that tiny hot-springs town, in an attic in a rundown inn, asleep on a thin futon. And I think of the snacks—the kakipi and the dried squid—that we enjoyed as we drank beer together, propped up against the wall.
I haven’t seen the beautiful travel-magazine editor since then, so I have no idea what fate befell her name after that. I hope it didn’t cause her any real hardship. She was blameless, after all. Nothing was her fault. I do feel bad about it, but I still can’t bring myself to tell her about the Shinagawa Monkey. ♦
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(Translated, from the Japanese, by Philip Gabriel.)
Published in the print edition of the June 8 & 15, 2020, issue.
Haruki Murakami has published fourteen novels in English. His new book, “Murakami T: The T-Shirts I Love,” translated, from the Japanese, by Philip Gabriel, will be published in November.
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