2. Lí iáu ū siáⁿ kha-siàu?
"Taⁿ, tán chi̍t-ē," Morton kheh-kheh khì-khì án-ne kóng, "Lí tio̍h lí-kái..."
"Aw, tiām-khì," hit-ê lâng kóng.
Yi ê sim khai-sí pho̍k-pho̍k thiàu. Morton pòaⁿ khiā khí-lâi; Sî-pò liu kàu thô͘-kha. Lēng-gōa hit-ê lâng bān-bān khiā khí-lâi. I hoa̍h kúi-ā pō͘ hiòng Morton, jiân-āu thêng lo̍h-lâi. I kā nn̄g-ki chho͘ chhiú-kut oan khí-lâi, tán tī hia. Yi kā nn̄g-ê khu̍h-khu̍h chùn ê kha-thâu-u ha̍p chò-hóe. Kám ē ū po̍k-le̍k, ē sio-phah bô? Ū-kàu khióng-pò͘, chin-chiàⁿ siūⁿ bē-kàu... Yi tio̍h chhái-chhú hêng-tōng, kā in chó͘-chí, hoah kiù-lâng. Yi siūⁿ boeh chhun-chhiú khiú ang ê chhiú-ńg, kiò i chē lo̍h, m̄-koh m̄-chai án-chóaⁿ yi bô án-ne chò.
Morton kā ba̍k-kiàⁿ hû chi̍t-ē. I ê bīn-sek pe̍h kah. "Che chiâⁿ hàm-kó͘," i ti-ti tū-tū án-ne kóng. "Góa tio̍h mn̄g lí..."
"Oh, sī án-ne oh?" hit-ê lâng kóng. I ê siang-kha khui-khui khiā hó-sè, sió-khóa hàiⁿ chi̍t-ē, kō͘ ke̍k khin-sī ê ba̍k-sek khòaⁿ Morton. "Lí iáu-ū siáⁿ kha-siàu?"
Ū chi̍t-khùn, hit nn̄g-ê cha-po͘ ba̍k-tú-ba̍k sio tùi-khòaⁿ. Jiân-āu, Morton kha-chiah-āu oa̍t hiòng hit-ê lâng, khin-siaⁿ kóng, "Hó ah, lán lī-khui chit-ê só͘-chāi." I chin bē chū-chāi, ē-sái kóng ka-tī mā kám-kak teh pái-kha, kiâⁿ kàu soa-siuⁿ. I oan-sin, phō khí Larry koh chah i ê soa-thio chhut-lâi.
Chek-sî, Larry oa̍h thiàu-thiàu; i bīn sit-sîn ê piáu-chêng bô--khì, khai-sí tiô koh kaiⁿ. "Góa bô-ài tńg-chhù, góa boeh koh sńg, góa bô-ài chia̍h àm-tǹg, góa bô kah-ì àm-tǹg..." Tán in khí-kiâⁿ ê sî, he piàn kah ná teh liām-keng, siang-lâng kā kiáⁿ gia̍p tī tiong-ng, i ê kha iân-lō͘ thoa-thô͘. Ūi tio̍h chhut tōa-mn̂g, in tio̍h keng-kòe hit-ê lâng koh kha-chhiú tián-khui theⁿ tī hia ê hit-tè tn̂g-í. Yi chin sió-sim mài khì khòaⁿ i. Chi̍p-tiong yi só͘-ū ê chun-giâm, yi khiú Larry hit-ki poān-soa, lâu-kōaⁿ ê sè chhiú, Morton khiú iáu chi̍t-ki. Bān-bān, thâu thêng-thêng, yi hām ang kap kiáⁿ kiâⁿ chhut hit-ê iû-hì-tiûⁿ.
Thâu-khí-seng yi kám-kak kui-ê khin-sang, in-ūi pī-bián sio-phah, bô lâng siū-siong. M̄-koh, tī che ē-bīn, iáu ū chi̍t-iân ê mi̍h, tîm-tāng koh siám bē-lī. Yi kám-kak he m̄-nā sī chi̍t-ê bô jû-khoài ê sū-kiāⁿ, m̄-nā sī kō͘ bú-le̍k phah-pāi tō-lí. Yi àm-tiong kám-kak, che khan-sia̍p tio̍h yi hām Morton, sī chiam chhì-chhì ê su-jîn, se̍k-sāi, koh tiōng-iàu ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ.
Hut-jiân kan, Morton kóng-ōe. "He mā bē-tàng chèng-bêng siáⁿ."
"Siáⁿ-hòe?" yi mn̄g.
"Sio-phah. Tî liáu chèng-bêng i pí góa khah tōa-chhāi, mā bē-tàng chèng-bêng siáⁿ."
"Tong-jiân," yi kóng.
"Ûi-it khó-lêng ê kiat-kó," i kè-sio̍k án-ne kóng tō-lí, "hoān-sè sī... siáⁿ? Góa ê ba̍k-kiàⁿ phòa khì, lak chi̍t/nn̄g-ki chhùi-khí, tio̍h chhéng-ká kúi-ā kang ... án-ne sī ūi-tio̍h siáⁿ? Ūi-tio̍h chèng-gī? Ūi-tio̍h chin-lí?"
"Tong-jiân," yi koh kóng chi̍t-piàn. Yi ê kha-pō͘ ta̍h kín. Yi kan-ta siūⁿ boeh tńg-chhù, thang bô-êng chhù-lāi ê tāi-chì; hoān-sè án-ne hit-chióng ná tîm-tāng ê chio̍h-ko kô͘ tī sim-koaⁿ ê kám-kak tō ē siau--khì. Siūⁿ tio̍h hit-lō hàu-tai, pi-phí ê ok-pà, yi tō koh-khah tōa-la̍t khiú Larry ê chhiú. Hit-ê gín-á iáu teh khàu. Kòe-khì, yi chóng-sī tùi ang ū chi̍t-chióng un-jiû ê thiàⁿ-sioh: i he bô hông-pī ê sió sin-khu, nńg-chiáⁿ ê chhiú-kut, pn̄g-sî-kut giâ kah ná si̍t ê e̍h keng-kah-thâu, sán koh bô chū-sìn ê kha-thúi; m̄-koh taⁿ yi ê chhùi ha̍p-ân, sim oàn-chheh.
"Mài khàu lah," yi chiam-siaⁿ hoah. "Góa thè lí kiàn-siàu!" Yi kám-kak ká-ná in saⁿ-lâng lóng iân-lō͘ thoa thô͘ teh kiâⁿ. Gín-á khàu koh khah tōa siaⁿ.
Hit-sî nā ū khan-sia̍p siáⁿ būn-tê, yi siūⁿ, hit-sî nā ūi-tio̍h siáⁿ tio̍h sio-phah... I khó-lêng ē án-chóaⁿ chò? M̄-kiaⁿ i ka-tī hông phah? Chhì boeh kà-sī hit-ê lâng? Khà tiān-ōe kiò kéng-chhat? "Kéng-koaⁿ, kong-hn̂g chia ū chi̍t-ê lâng, m̄-khéng kiò in kiáⁿ mài kā goán kiáⁿ iā soa-á..." Kui-ê tāi-chì tō-sī chiah-nī hàm-kó͘, bô ta̍t-tit koh khì siūⁿ.
"Pài-thok leh, lí kám bē-tàng kiò i tiām khì?" Morton àu-náu, án-ne mn̄g.
"Lí siūⁿ kóng góa it-ti̍t teh chhòng-siáⁿ?" yi kóng.
Larry koh thoa tī āu-bīn, siang-kha thoa-thô͘.
"Lí nā bô hoat-tō͘ kà-sī chit-ê gín-á, hō͘ góa lâi," Morton hoah-siaⁿ, oa̍t-sin hiòng hit-ê gín-á.
M̄-koh, yi ê siaⁿ hō͘ i thêng lo̍h-lâi. Yi thiaⁿ tio̍h mā kiaⁿ chi̍t-tiô, he siaⁿ tòa tio̍h biáu-sī, khin, léng, koh chiam: "Chin ê?" yi thiaⁿ tio̍h ka-tī án-ne kóng, "lí iáu ū siáⁿ kha-siàu?"
(Soah)
--
2. 你猶有啥跤數?
"今, 等一下," Morton 客客氣氣 án-ne 講, "你著理解..."
"Aw, 恬去," 彼个人講.
她 ê 心開始 pho̍k-pho̍k 跳. Morton 半徛起來; 時報溜到塗跤. 另外彼个人慢慢徛起來. 伊伐幾若步向 Morton, 然後停落來. 伊 kā 兩支粗手骨彎起來, 等 tī 遐. 她 kā 兩个 khu̍h-khu̍h 顫 ê 跤頭趺合做伙. 敢會有暴力, 會相拍無? 有夠恐怖, 真正想袂到... 她著採取行動, kā in 阻止, 喝救人. 她想欲伸手搝翁 ê 手䘼, 叫伊坐落, 毋過毋知按怎她無 án-ne 做.
Morton kā 目鏡扶一下. 伊 ê 面色白甲. "這誠譀古," 伊 ti-ti tū-tū án-ne 講. "我著問你..."
"Oh, 是 án-ne oh?" 彼个人講. 伊 ê 雙跤開開徛好勢, 小可幌一下, kō͘ 極輕視 ê 目色看 Morton. "你猶有啥跤數?"
有一睏, 彼兩个查埔目拄目相對看. 然後, Morton 尻脊後越向彼个人, 輕聲講, "好 ah, 咱離開這个所在." 伊真袂自在, 會使講家己 mā 感覺 teh 跛跤, 行到沙箱. 伊彎身, 抱起 Larry koh 扎伊 ê 沙挑出來.
即時, Larry 活跳跳; 伊面失神 ê 表情無--去, 開始趒 koh kaiⁿ. "我無愛轉厝, 我欲 koh 耍, 我無愛食暗頓, 我無佮意暗頓..." 等 in 起行 ê 時, he 變甲 ná teh 念經, 雙人 kā 囝挾 tī 中央, 伊 ê 跤沿路拖塗. 為著出大門, in 著經過彼个人 koh 跤手展開 theⁿ tī 遐 ê 彼塊長椅. 她真小心莫去看伊. 集中她所有 ê 尊嚴, 她搝 Larry 彼支拌沙, 流汗 ê 細手, Morton 搝猶一支. 慢慢, 頭騰騰, 她和翁 kap 囝行出彼个遊戲場.
頭起先她感覺規个輕鬆, 因為避免相拍, 無人受傷. 毋過, tī 這下面, 猶有一沿 ê 物, 沉重 koh 閃袂離. 她感覺彼毋但是一个無愉快 ê 事件, 毋但是 kō͘ 武力拍敗道理. 她暗中感覺, 這牽涉著她和 Morton, 是針刺刺 ê 私人, 熟似, koh 重要 ê 物件.
忽然間, Morton 講話. "彼 mā 袂當證明啥."
"啥貨?" 她問.
"相拍. 除了證明伊比我較大 chhāi, mā 袂當證明啥."
"當然," 她講.
"唯一可能 ê 結果," 伊繼續 án-ne 講道理, "凡勢是... 啥? 我 ê 目鏡破去, lak 一兩支喙齒, 著請假幾若工 ... án-ne 是為著啥? 為著正義? 為著真理?"
"當然," 她 koh 講一遍. 她 ê 跤步踏緊. 她干焦想欲轉厝, 通無閒厝內 ê 代誌; 凡勢 án-ne 彼種 ná 沉重 ê 石膏糊 tī 心肝 ê 感覺 tō 會消去. 想著彼號孝呆, 卑鄙 ê 惡霸, 她 tō koh 較大力搝 Larry ê 手. 彼个囡仔猶 teh 哭. 過去, 她總是對翁有一種溫柔 ê 疼惜: 伊 he 無防備 ê 小身軀, 軟汫 ê 手骨, 飯匙骨夯甲 ná 翼 ê 狹肩胛頭, 瘦 koh 無自信 ê 跤腿; 毋過今她 ê 喙合絚, 心怨慼.
"莫哭 lah," 她尖聲喝. "我替你見笑!" 她感覺敢若 in 三人攏沿路拖塗 teh 行. 囡仔哭 koh 較大聲.
彼時若有牽涉啥問題, 她想, 彼時若為著啥著相拍... 伊可能會按怎做? 毋驚伊家己 hông 拍? 試欲教示彼个人? 敲電話叫警察? "警官, 公園遮有一个人, 毋肯叫 in 囝莫 kā 阮囝掖沙仔..." 規个代誌 tō 是 chiah-nī 譀古, 無值得 koh 去想.
"拜託 leh, 你敢袂當叫伊恬去?" Morton 懊惱, án-ne 問.
"你想講我一直 teh 創啥?" 她講.
Larry koh 拖 tī 後面, 雙跤拖塗.
"你若無法度教示這个囡仔, 予我來," Morton 喝聲, 越身向彼个囡仔.
毋過, 她 ê 聲予伊停落來. 她聽著 mā 驚一趒, he 聲帶著藐視, 輕, 冷, koh 尖: "真 ê?" 她聽著家己 án-ne 講, "你猶有啥跤數?"
(煞)
--
2.
“Now, just a minute,” Morton said courteously, “you must realize….”
“Aw, shut up,” said the man.
Her heart began to pound. Morton half rose; the Times slid to the ground. Slowly the other man stood up. He took a couple of steps toward Morton, then stopped. He flexed his great arms, waiting. She pressed her trembling knees together. Would there be violence, fighting? How dreadful, how incredible….She must do something, stop them, call for help. She wanted to put her hand on her husband’s sleeve, to pull him down, but for some reason she didn’t.
Morton adjusted his glasses. He was very pale. “This is ridiculous,” he said unevenly. “I must ask you….”
“Oh, yeah?” said the man. He stood with his legs spread apart, rocking a little, looking at Morton with utter scorn. “You and who else?”
For a moment the two men looked at each other nakedly. Then Morton turned his back on the man and said quietly, “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He walked awkwardly, almost limping with self-consciousness, to the sandbox. He stooped and lifted Larry and his shovel out.
At once Larry came to life; his face lost its rapt expression and he began to kick and cry. “I don’t want to go home, I want to play better, I don’t want any supper, I don’t like supper….” It became a chant as they walked, pulling their child between them, his feet dragging on the ground. In order to get to the exit gate they had to pass the bench where the man sat sprawling again. She was careful not to look at him. With all the dignity she could summon, she pulled Larry’s sandy, perspiring little hand, while Morton pulled the other. Slowly and with head high she walked with her husband and child out of the playground.
Her first feelings was one of relief that a fight had been avoided, that no one was hurt. Yet beneath it there was a layer of something else, something heavy and inescapable. She sensed that it was more than just an unpleasant incident, more than defeat of reason by force. She felt dimly it had something to do with her and Morton, something acutely personal, familiar, and important.
Suddenly Morton spoke. “It wouldn’t have proved anything.”
“What?” she asked.
“A fight. It wouldn’t have proved anything beyond the fact that he’s bigger than I am.”
“Of course,” she said.
“The only possible outcome,” he continued reasonably, “would have been—what? My glasses broken, perhaps a tooth or two replaced, a couple of days’ work missed – and for what? For justice? For truth?”
“Of course,” she repeated. She quickened her step. She wanted only to get home and to busy herself with her familiar tasks; perhaps then the feeling, glued like heavy plaster on her heart, would be gone. Of all the stupid, despicable bullies, she thought, pulling harder on Larry’s hand. The child was still crying. Always before she had felt a tender pity for his defenseless little body, the frail arms, the narrow shoulders with sharp winglike shoulder blades, the thin and unsure legs, but now her mouth tightened in resentment.
“Stop crying,” she said sharply. “I’m ashamed of you!” She felt as if all three of them were tracking mud along the street. The child cried louder.
If there had been an issue involved, she thought, if there had been something to fight for…. But what else could he possibly have done? Allow himself to be beaten? Attempt to educate the man? Call a policeman? “Officer, there’s a man in the park who won’t stop his child from throwing sand on mine….” The whole thing was as silly as that, and not worth thinking about.
“Can’t you keep him quiet, for Pete’s sake?” Morton asked irritably.
“What do you suppose I’ve been trying to do?” she said.
Larry pulled back, dragging his feet.
“If you can’t discipline this child, I will,” Morton snapped, making a move toward the boy.
But her voice stopped him. She was shocked to hear it, thin and cold and penetrating with contempt. “Indeed?” she heard herself say. “You and who else?”
--
// 2022-5-29
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