2. Bē-su pàng-lo̍h it-chhè ê tāng-tàⁿ
Yi kiông-boeh khí ài-chhiò, ka-chài ū chīn-la̍t kā jím lo̍h-lâi. Hut-jiân-kan, yi ê kha khai-sí m̄ thiaⁿ-ōe teh khí-chiūⁿ. Sīm-chì sió-khóa, bô-ì-sek teh chun. M̄-koh, hit-ê kéng-chhat siūⁿ-kóng he put-kò sī chi̍t-ê hoàn-kak, a̍h sī in-ūi hun-chháu ê chok-iōng.
Kéng-chhat lia̍h yi siòng chiok kú. I ē sió siu-soah chi̍t-ē, jiân-āu koh tńg-lâi kā siông-sè khòaⁿ. Án-ne lâi-lâi khì-khì, kú kah yi teh khí-siān. Yi hòⁿ-hiân, hit-ê hàu-tai tàu-té sī boeh cháu m̄? Yi kám-kak chiâⁿ bē sóng-khoài. Yi chai, yi bē-tàng kō͘ chit-ê chu-sè it-ti̍t khiā lo̍h-khì. Kāng hit-sî, yi mā chai, yi tī tián-sī tû-thang lāi-bīn chin an-choân. Nā tī gōa-kháu, tá-thó ū chiah an-choân ê só͘-chāi!
Kám-siā Thiⁿ-kong, kéng-chhat chóng-sǹg koat-tēng boeh lī-khui, iá yi mā thó͘ chi̍t-kháu khin-sang ê khùi, kā kha-chhiú pàng lēng, kín-tiuⁿ ê kha-chiah-phiaⁿ chhun-ti̍t, sīm-chì sió kā masáji chi̍t-ē. Àm-mê boeh kàu ah, lâng-tīn chiām-chiām po̍h kah chhun kúi-ê kha-pō͘ khin-khoài ê kòe-lō͘ lâng.
Liâm-mi tō boeh àm ah, yi siūⁿ. Yi siōng-hó thàn iáu ū kng ê sî chhut-khì. Pò͘-tiàm tiāⁿ-tio̍h tī teh chheng lâng ah. Khiong-kiaⁿ ū-lâng ē khòaⁿ tio̍h yi lī-khui tián-sī tû-thang. Yi tio̍h te̍k-pia̍t sió-sim... koh tio̍h ài kín. M̄-koh, tī tû-thang lāi iū-koh kám-kak hiah-nī sù-sī! Koh tán 10 hun-cheng? Ná-ē m̄-hó ah...
Yi tng-teh su-khó chit-ê būn-tê, hit-sî yi khòaⁿ tio̍h yi ê lú-sèng pêng-iú Sheyama kiâⁿ tī lâng-hêng-tō. Yi sûi kín koh pos tú-chiah ê chu-sè, tiām-tiām bô chhoán-khùi. Sheyama ǹg yi chit-ê hong-hiòng bô chù-sim khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē, in-ūi sim-koaⁿ teh siūⁿ pa̍t-hāng, ka-chài, hûi-hiám hòa-kái ah. Tī Sheyama chhut-hiān chìn-chêng, yi it-ti̍t bô siūⁿ-tio̍h ē ū se̍k-sāi lâng khòaⁿ tio̍h yi. Chit-ê sî-kan mā-sī yin a-hiaⁿ hā-pan tńg-chhù ê sî-chū, siūⁿ tio̍h che, yi khì chheⁿ-kông. I í-keng hoān tio̍h sim-chōng pēⁿ. Hō͘ i khòaⁿ tio̍h ka-têng "miâ-ū" tī ke-lō͘ án-ne sià-sì sià-chèng boeh án-chóaⁿ? I kám bē tó-lo̍h sí?
Nn̄g-ê gín-á hiaⁿ chhut-hiān tī yi ê gán-kài lāi. In tú ùi ha̍k-hāu tńg-lâi, chheh phāiⁿ-á phāiⁿ tī kha-chiah-phiaⁿ. In kō͘ ke̍k-tōa ê hòⁿ-kî khòaⁿ, kā bīn -- ba̍k-chiu hām it-chhè -- tī po-lê tah kah pêⁿ-pêⁿ teh khòaⁿ. "Heh, yi sī chin-lâng," kî-tiong chi̍t-ê gín-á hiaⁿ ê siaⁿ bî-bî thoân-ji̍p yi ê hīⁿ-khang. Yi iū-koh khí ài-chhiò.
"A-tai, he sī sok-ka--ê," lēng-gōa hit-ê kóng. "Kám ū-lâng iōng chin-lâng modél?"
"M̄-koh, yi khòaⁿ tio̍h chiok sêng chin ê. Khòaⁿ tio̍h ná-chhiūⁿ yi sûi-sî ē khui-chhùi kóng-ōe."
"He sī in-ūi hông-hun ê iân-kò͘. Tī chèng-siông ê chiò-bêng, lí tō khòaⁿ ē-chhut."
"Hái!" hit-ê gín-á hiaⁿ ná kóng, ná gia̍t-thiok ǹg yi nih ba̍k-chiu.
Lēng-gōa hit-ê pàng-siaⁿ chhiò chhut-lâi. Jiân-āu, i mā ǹg yi ia̍t-chhiú, kóng "Bye!" nn̄g-lâng tō kiâⁿ chhut yi ê gán-kài.
In chi̍t-ē kiâⁿ-khui, yi hut-leh khai-sí chhiò, m̄-koh mā hut-leh kín-tiuⁿ khí-lâi.
Chi̍t-ê siàu-liân-ke tī po-lê hit-pêng kō͘ giâu-gî ê ba̍k-kng teh khòaⁿ yi. Tán in ê ba̍k-kng sio-tú ê sî, i chhiò chi̍t-ē. Yi mā hôe i chi̍t-ê bî-chhiò, kō͘ án-ne am-khàm ka-tī ê kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ. Yi kín lia̍h khí sok-ka ké-lâng, chhì boeh kā chhāi hó-sè, ké-kúi yi sī chi̍t-ê tiàm-oân.
Hit-ê siàu-liân-ke ê ba̍k-chiu iáu-sī tèng tī yi.
Ná kā sari moa tī lâng-hêng sin-khu, yi kō͘ ba̍k-chiu bóe khòaⁿ hit-ê siàu-liân-ke, khòaⁿ i taⁿ teh khòaⁿ siáng. I ê ba̍k-chiu tī sok-ka lâng téng-bīn té-chām lió chi̍t-ē, tō thiàu khui he, liâm tī yi ê sin-khu.
Yi tò-thè lu, ke̍k chū-sìn, phah-khui tû-thang ê mn̂g, kiâⁿ chhut-khì.
Bô jīm-hô tiàm-oân khòaⁿ tio̍h yi lī-khui, a̍h sī, ká-sú in ū khòaⁿ tio̍h, in-ūi yi ê bín-chia̍t koh kín-sok, in bô gî-gō͘ ū siáⁿ tāi-chì hoat-seng. Siú-ūi mā bô chù-ì tio̍h, in-ūi i teh bô-êng hām chi̍t-ê tiàm-oân kóng-ōe.
Sìn-sim móa-móa, yi tōa-pō͘ kiâⁿ khui, kín koh khin, hoaⁿ-hí koh boán-chiok. Bē-su yi tú-tú pàng-lo̍h it-chhè tîⁿ tī sin-khu hām lêng-hûn ê tāng-tàⁿ. Kiâⁿ khui chi̍t-tōaⁿ lō͘ liáu-āu, yi oa̍t-sin, ǹg āu-bīn khòaⁿ. Hit-ê siàu-liân-ke iáu-sī lia̍h yi teh siòng, khó-lêng sī in-ūi hòⁿ-kî.
Yi kín oat-kòe lēng-gōa chi̍t-tiâu ke.
(Soah)
--
2. 袂輸放落一切 ê 重擔
她強欲起愛笑, 佳哉有盡力 kā 忍落來. 忽然間, 她 ê 跤開始毋聽話 teh 起癢. 甚至小可, 無意識 teh chun. 毋過, 彼个警察想講 he 不過是一个幻覺, a̍h 是因為薰草 ê 作用.
警察掠她相足久. 伊會小收煞一下, 然後 koh 轉來 kā 詳細看. Án-ne 來來去去, 久 kah 她 teh 起僐. 她好玄, 彼个孝呆到底是欲走毋? 她感覺誠袂爽快. 她知, 她袂當 kō͘ 這个姿勢一直徛落去. 仝彼時, 她 mā 知, 她 tī 展示櫥窗內面真安全. 若 tī 外口, tá 討有 chiah 安全 ê 所在!
感謝天公, 警察總算決定欲離開, iá 她 mā 吐一口輕鬆 ê 氣, kā 跤手放冗, 緊張 ê 尻脊骿伸直, 甚至小 kā masáji 一下. 暗暝欲到 ah, 人陣漸漸薄 kah 賰幾个跤步輕快 ê 過路人.
Liâm-mi tō 欲暗 ah, 她想. 她上好趁猶有光 ê 時出去. 布店定著 tī teh 清人 ah. 恐驚有人會看著她離開展示櫥窗. 她著特別小心... koh 著愛緊. 毋過, tī 櫥窗內又閣感覺 hiah-nī 四序! 閣等 10 分鐘? 那會毋好 ah...
她 tng-teh 思考這个問題, 彼時她看著她 ê 女性朋友 Sheyama 行 tī 人行道. 她隨緊 koh pos 拄才 ê 姿勢, 恬恬無喘氣. Sheyama ǹg 她這个方向無注心看一下, 因為心肝 teh 想別項, 佳哉, 危險化解 ah. Tī Sheyama 出現進前, 她一直無想著會有熟似人看著她. 這个時間 mā 是姻阿兄下班轉厝 ê 時陣, 想著這, 她起生狂. 伊已經患著心臟病. 予伊看著家庭 "名譽" tī 街路 án-ne 卸世卸眾欲按怎? 伊敢袂倒落死?
兩个囡仔兄出現 tī 她 ê 眼界內. In 拄 ùi 學校轉來, 冊揹仔揹 tī 尻脊骿. In kō͘ 極大 ê 好奇看, kā 面 -- 目睭和一切 -- tī 玻璃貼 kah 平平 teh 看. "Heh, 她是真人," 其中一个囡仔兄 ê 聲微微傳入她 ê 耳空. 她又閣起愛笑.
"阿呆, 彼是塑膠 ê," 另外彼个講. "敢有人用真人 modél?"
"毋過, 她看著足成真 ê. 看著 ná 像她隨時會開喙講話."
"彼是因為黃昏 ê 緣故. Tī 正常 ê 照明, 你 tō 看會出."
"Hái!" 彼个囡仔兄 ná 講, ná gia̍t-thiok ǹg 她 nih 目睭.
另外彼个放聲笑出來. 然後, 伊 mā ǹg 她擛手, 講 "Bye!" 兩人 tō 行出她 ê 眼界.
In 一下行開, 她 hut-leh 開始笑, 毋過 mā hut-leh 緊張起來.
一个少年家 tī 玻璃彼爿 kō͘ 憢疑 ê 目光 teh 看她. 等 in ê 目光相拄 ê 時, 伊笑一下. 她 mā 回伊一个微笑, kō͘ án-ne 掩崁家己 ê 驚惶. 她緊掠起塑膠人形, 試欲 kā chhāi 好勢, 假鬼她是一个店員.
彼个少年家 ê 目睭猶是釘 tī 她.
Ná kā sari 幔 tī 人形身軀, 她 kō͘ 目睭尾看彼个少年家, 看伊今 teh 看 siáng. 伊 ê 目睭 tī 人形頂面短站瞭一下, tō 跳開 he, 黏 tī 她 ê 身軀.
她倒退攄, 極自信, 拍開櫥窗 ê 門, 行出去.
無任何店員看著她離開, a̍h 是, 假使 in 有看著, 因為她 ê 敏捷 koh 緊速, in 無疑悟有啥代誌發生. 守衛 mā 無注意著, 因為伊 teh 無閒和一个店員講話.
信心滿滿, 她大步行開, 緊 koh 輕, 歡喜 koh 滿足. 袂輸她拄拄放落一切纏 tī 身軀和靈魂 ê 重擔. 行開一段路了後, 她越身, ǹg 後面看. 彼个少年家猶是掠她 teh 相, 可能是因為好奇.
她緊斡過另外一條街.
(煞)
--
2.
She was overcome by a powerful urge to laugh, but managed to stop herself with the greatest difficulty. Suddenly her feet began to itch uncontrollably. There was even a slight, involuntary tremble. But the cop thought it was a mere illusion, or the effect of the tobacco.
The cop stared at her for a long time. He would withdraw a little, then come back and inspect her closely. This went on for so long that she began to tire. Is the idiot going to leave at all, she wondered? She was feeling uncomfortable. She knew she couldn’t go on standing in that pose. All the same, she also knew that she was safe inside the show window. Where would she find such a sanctuary outside?
Thank God the cop finally decided to leave, and she drew a breath of relief, loosened her hands and feet, straightened up her tense back, indeed even massaged it a bit. Night was approaching and the crowd had thinned down to a few swift-footed pedestrians.
Soon it will grow dark, she thought. She’d better get out of here while there was still some light. The fabric store must be emptying out. Somebody might see her getting out of the show window. She’d have to be very careful . . . and fast. And yet there was such comfort inside the show window! How she wallowed in that pleasure! Another ten minutes? Why not . . .
She was still mulling over this when she spotted her girlfriend Sheyama on the sidewalk. Right away she sprang into her former pose and held her breath. Sheyama threw an inattentive look in her direction and because her thoughts were elsewhere, the danger, luckily, was averted. The thought that some of her acquaintances might spot her here had not occurred to her until Sheyama came along. This was precisely the time when her older brother returned from work, she recalled with horror. He’s already suffering from a heart ailment. What if he saw the family’s “honor” exposed so shamelessly out on the street? Wouldn’t he drop dead?
Two boys appeared in her field of vision. They were returning from school, their satchels glued to their backs. They looked with zesty curiosity and pasted their faces—eyes and all—flat against the glass. “Hey, she’s real,” the voice of one of the boys entered her ear faintly. Once again she wanted to laugh.
“Idiot, it’s plastic,” the other boy said. “Whoever uses a live model?”
“But she looks so real. Seems she’d open her mouth and start speaking any moment.”
“That’s because of the evening. In proper light, you’d see.”
“Hi!” the boy said as he winked at her mischievously.
The other one broke into a gale of laughter. Then he too waved at her and said “Bye!” and the two walked out of her field of vision.
As soon as they were gone, she suddenly began to laugh, but just as suddenly, became very nervous.
A young man was looking at her with perplexed eyes from across the glass. When their eyes met, he smiled. She smiled back, if only to hide her trepidation. She quickly grabbed the plastic dummy, and tried to install it, pretending to be one of the store clerks.
The youth’s eyes were still riveted on her.
Arranging the sari around the mannequin she looked at the youth from the corner of her eye to see who he was looking at. His eyes lingered briefly at the plastic figure, then bounced off it and became glued to her.
She backed up, supremely confident, opened the door to the show window and walked out.
None of the store attendants saw her leave, or if they did, she was so agile and so fast that they couldn’t figure out what had happened. The doorman didn’t notice, as he was busy talking to one of the sales clerks.
Confidently she strode away, briskly but lightly, happy and satisfied. As though she’d just unloaded the entire pestering weight of her body and soul. After she had walked away some distance, she turned around and looked back. The youth was still staring at her, perhaps with wonder.
She quickly turned down another street.
--
//
Translated from Urdu
The moment he saw her, his hand stopped dead, his mouth fell open, and his eyes widened. She stared at the cop sweetly.
September 1, 2010
--
// 2022-7-18
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