3. 莫叫她 Mă

3. Mài kiò yi Mă

LÍ CHIN TE̍K-PIA̍T!!!

TĪ CALIFORNIA SIANG-SEⁿ-Á GIÁN-KIÙ Ê 20 NÎ TIONG-KAN, GOÁN SIU-CHI̍P TĀI-LIŌNG Ê SÌN-SIT, TÙI KHO-HA̍K, SIĀ-HŌE KHO-HA̍K, KAP I-HA̍K LÓNG Ū CHIN TŌA Ê PANG-CHĀN. Ū-Ê GOÁN ÙI CHHAM-KA-CHIÁ TIT-TIO̍H Ê SÒ͘-KÌ, TÙI LÁN LIÁU-KÁI Ē-BĪN Ê SŪ-HĀNG CHIN Ū LĪ-EK:

ÛI-THOÂN-HA̍K

GÂM-CHÈNG

LĀU-HÒA HĀM LĀU-LÂNG-I-HA̍K

SIM-LÍ KIĀN-KHONG

PIÀN-HÒA TIONG Ê BÍ-KOK KA-TÊNG.

Koh-loeh ê chiu-boa̍t sī siang-nn̄g ê siang-seⁿ-á, in sī pí-phēng-cho͘. Lán chit-ê chiu-boa̍t sī tan-nn̄g, its* kāng-nn̄g ê siang-seⁿ-á, lán sī gián-kiù-cho͘. Lí-koán ê tōa-thiaⁿ í-keng kheh tīⁿ-tīⁿ chi̍t-tùi chi̍t-tùi ê 30 gōa hòe ê lâng, in khòaⁿ tio̍h m̄-sī sió-khóa sio-kāng tō sī oân-choân sio-kāng. Ū-sî sī kāng-khoán ê bīn chhāi tī bô-kāng ê sin-khu téng -- kî-tiong chi̍t-ê siang-seⁿ-á pí iáu chi̍t-ê khah pûi, a̍h sī kî-tiong chi̍t-ê siang-seⁿ-á í-keng chham-ka kiān-sin ūn-tōng. Óng-óng mā sī kāng bīn bô kāng thâu-mo͘ sek, thâu-mo͘ tn̂g-tō͘, chhùi-chhiu, a̍h sī pa̍t-ūi ê mo͘. Ū chi̍t-tùi siang-seⁿ-á sī Niau-ông Elvis ê bô͘-hóng-chiá -- che chi̍t khòaⁿ tō chai. Iáu ū hiah-ê kāng-khoán kāng-khoán ê siang-seⁿ-á. In tī tōa-thiaⁿ se̍h lâi se̍h khì, nn̄g-ê nn̄g-ê chò-hóe khai-káng, a̍h sī ná hîm sio-siâm án-ne phah-chio-ho͘, khòaⁿ tio̍h ū-kàu kî-koài. Kap tōa-pō͘-hūn ê lâng kāng-khoán, góa mā hán-tit tú tio̍h siang-seⁿ-á tōa-lâng. In khòaⁿ tio̍h lóng chiâⁿ tōa-hàn. Lán-lâng khòaⁿ tio̍h ê siang-seⁿ-á m̄-sī eⁿ-á tō sī gín-á, chă-gín-á chhēng kāng-khoán ê saⁿ-á, cha-po͘ gín-á tì kāng-khoán ê bō-á; siang-seⁿ-á tōa-lâng ká-ná koài-koài, chāi góa khòaⁿ mā-sī án-ne. M̄-koh, goán lóng lâi tī chia. Goán tiong-kan ū-ê lâng tōng-chok kāng-khoán, iōng kāng-khoán ê chhiú-sè. Goán ê thâu-náu mā seⁿ-chò kāng-khoán. Che sī ûi-thoân-ha̍k ê pá-hì, sī chi̍t-ê lah-sap pá-hì. [* its = iā-tō-sī]

Góa khì khó-phà ê thiⁿ-chéⁿ hn̄g-hn̄g hit thâu ê teng-kì-tâi niá góa ê miâ-pâi. Téng-bīn siá MZ: AMANDA 173. Che tō sī góa, tan-nn̄g siang-seⁿ-á (Monozygotic) Amanda.

"MZ Samantha 173 lâi niá yi ê miâ-pâi bōe?"

Pān-sū-oân kă kóng, iáu-bōe. Tong-jiân, Samantha sī m̄-sī ē chhut-hiān tī chiah-ê chiu-boa̍t, kan-ta thiⁿ chiah chai. M̄-koh yi chóng-sī ū lâi. Yi it-poaⁿ su-iàu chit-ê chîⁿ.

Jason hām Ivan chē tī tōa-thiaⁿ ê phòng-í, nn̄g-lâng bô sio-chhap. "Chia chiâⁿ àu." Jason kóng. Khak-si̍t, lí-koán kap kòe-khì kāng-khoán àu-kó͘, sui-bóng téng-kái lâi liáu, in í-keng kā gōa-bīn chhat chò hún-âng-á sek ê.

"Hoān-sè lí ē kah-ì iû-éng-tî!" góa chhiò hi-hi kā kóng.

Jason mā tùi góa chhiò chi̍t-ē. "Hehe, Mă, hoān-sè góa ē!"

"Mài kiò yi Mă," Ivan kóng.

"Sī án-nóa mài? Góa siūⁿ-kóng, góa kiò yi Mă, lí ē chin hoaⁿ-hí."

"Hó ah. Mài koh kiò ah."

Ivan chhēng se-chong. Ivan chóng-sī chhēng se-chong. Jason chhēng khoah long-long ê té saⁿ-khò͘, ká-ná kiōng boeh kā i he sè-lia̍p-chí ê sin-khu pau ji̍p-khì -- kui-ê kha-thâu-u kap chhiú-āu-khiau. I kā ka-tī ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ chng tī chi̍t-ê chóa-tē-á nih, tē-á téng ìn chi̍t-keng kiān-khong si̍t-phín tiàm ê miâ. Tī chit-lō bô-siá-sì ê sió só͘-chāi, góa khòaⁿ tio̍h in lāu-bú ê sok-iáⁿ: chi̍t-ê tī Ivan tú tio̍h góa chêng-āu só͘ pàng-sak ê tio̍h-bôa, sim-hoân, koh lio̍h-á pûi ê cha-bó͘. Jason mā chah chi̍t-ê lián-pang (skateboard) hām chi̍t-ê tàu hīⁿ-ki ê CD im-ga̍k-ki, siaⁿ-liōng khui chin tōa, tiān-thui-mn̂g chi̍t-ē koaiⁿ khí-lâi, góa tō thiaⁿ ē-tio̍h siaⁿ. Góa nā bô thiaⁿ m̄-tio̍h khì, he sī chi̍t-ê cha-bó͘ tī i ê hīⁿ-khang hiu "Kàn, mài koh thiàⁿ ah" chit-kù ōe.

*

3. 莫叫她 Mă

你真特別!!!

TĪ California 雙生仔研究 Ê 20 年中間, 阮收集大量 Ê 信息, TÙI 科學, 社會科學, KAP 醫學 LÓNG 有真大 Ê 幫贊. 有 Ê 阮 ÙI 參加者得著 Ê 數據, 對咱了解下面 Ê 事項真有利益:

遺傳學

癌症

老化 HĀM 老人醫學

心理健康

變化中 Ê 美國家庭.

Koh-loeh ê 週末是雙卵 ê 雙生仔, in 是比並組. 咱這个週末是單卵, its* 仝卵 ê 雙生仔, 咱是研究組. 旅館 ê 大廳已經 kheh 滇滇一對一對 ê 30 外歲 ê 人, in 看著毋是小可相仝 tō 是完全相仝. 有時是仝款 ê 面 chhāi tī 無仝 ê 身軀頂 -- 其中一个雙生仔比猶一个較肥, a̍h 是其中一个雙生仔已經參加健身運動. 往往 mā 是仝面無仝頭毛色, 頭毛長度, 喙鬚, a̍h 是別位 ê 毛. 有一對雙生仔是貓王 Elvis ê 模仿者 -- 這一看 tō 知. 猶有 hiah-ê 仝款仝款 ê 雙生仔. In tī 大廳踅來踅去, 兩个兩个做伙開講, a̍h 是 ná 熊相 siâm án-ne 拍招呼, 看著有夠奇怪. Kap 大部份 ê 人仝款, 我 mā 罕得拄著雙生仔大人. In 看著 lóng 誠大漢. 咱人看著 ê 雙生仔毋是嬰仔 tō 是囡仔, chă 囡仔穿仝款 ê 衫仔, 查埔囡仔戴仝款 ê 帽仔; 雙生仔大人 ká-ná 怪怪, 在我看 mā 是 án-ne. M̄-koh, 阮 lóng 來 tī chia. 阮中間有 ê 人動作仝款, 用仝款 ê 手勢. 阮 ê 頭腦 mā 生做仝款. 這是遺傳學 ê 把戲, 是一个垃圾把戲. [* its = iā-tō-sī]

我去可怕 ê 天井遠遠彼頭 ê 登記台領我 ê 名牌. 頂面寫 MZ: AMANDA 173. 這 tō 是我, 單卵雙生仔 (Monozygotic) Amanda.

"MZ Samantha 173 來領她 ê 名牌未?"

辦事員 kă  講, 猶未. 當然, Samantha 是毋是會出現 tī chiah-ê 週末, 干焦天 chiah 知. M̄-koh 她總是有來. 她一般需要這个錢.

Jason 和 Ivan 坐 tī 大廳 ê 膨椅, 兩人無 sio-chhap. "Chia 誠漚." Jason 講. 確實, 旅館 kap 過去仝款漚古, 雖罔頂改來了, in 已經 kā 外面漆做粉紅仔色 ê.

"凡勢你會佮意游泳池!" 我笑 hi-hi kā 講.

Jason mā 對我笑一下. "Hehe, Mă, 凡勢我會!"

"莫叫她 Mă," Ivan 講.

"是 án-nóa 莫? 我想講, 我叫她 Mă, 你會真歡喜."

"好 ah. 莫 koh 叫 ah."

Ivan 穿西裝. Ivan 總是穿西裝. Jason 穿闊 long-long ê 短衫褲, ká-ná 強欲 kā 伊彼細粒子 ê 身軀包入去 -- 規个跤頭趺 kap 手後蹺. 伊 kā ka-tī ê 物件裝 tī 一个紙袋仔 nih, 袋仔頂印一間健康食品店 ê 名. Tī chit-lō 無捨世 ê 小所在, 我看著 in 老母 ê 縮影: 一个 tī Ivan 拄著我前後所放捒 ê 著磨, 心煩, koh 略仔肥 ê 查某. Jason mā 扎一个輪枋 (skateboard) 和一个鬥耳機 ê CD 音樂機, 聲量開真大, 電梯門一下關起來, 我 tō 聽會著聲. 我若無聽毋著去, 彼是一个查某 tī 伊 ê 耳空咻 "Kàn, 莫 koh 疼 ah" 這句話.

*

3.

YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!

OVER THE TWENTY-YEAR LIFESPAN OF THE CALIFORNIA TWIN STUDY, WE'VE GATHERED VITAL INFORMATION THAT HAS BEEN OF GREAT BENEFIT TO THE FIELDS OF SCIENCE, SOCIAL SCIENCE, AND MEDICINE. SOME OF THE DATA WE'VE COLLECTED FROM OUR PARTICIPANTS HAS BEEN USEFUL IN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF:

GENETICS

CANCER

AGING AND GERIATRICS

MENTAL HEALTH

THE CHANGING AMERICAN FAMILY

WE ARE DELIGHTED BY YOUR CONTINUING PARTICIPATION IN THE CALIFORNIA TWIN STUDY AND LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AT OUR NEXT MEETING.

The following weekend will be dizygotic, fraternal twins, the control group. Our weekend is monozygotic, identical twins, the freaks. Already the hotel lobby is filled with pairs of people in their thirties who look either somewhat or exactly alike. Sometimes it's the same face on different bodies -- one twin is fatter than the other, or one twin has taken up body building. Often it's the same face with different hair color, hair length, facial hair, hair anything. One twin is an Elvis impersonator -- need I say more? Then there are the twins who look exactly the same. It's strange to see them milling around the lobby, talking in pairs or greeting each other with bear hugs. Like most people, I'm not used to seeing identical adults. They all look gigantic. Twinning is something that one encounters in children or babies, little girls with matching dresses, adorable boys with matching caps; adult twins seem aberrant, even to me. Yet here we are. Some of us even move the same way, or use the same gestures. Our brains are wired up the same. It's a trick of genetics, a dirty trick.

I go to the registration desk at the far end of the god-awful atrium and pick up my name tag. It says MZ: AMANDA 173. That's me, Monozygotic Amanda.

"Has MZ Samantha 173 picked up her tag yet?"

The clerk tells me that she has not. It's perpetually up in the air, of course, whether Samantha will even show up for these weekends. But she always has. She generally needs the money.

Jason and Ivan are on the lobby couches, ignoring each other. "This place sucks," Jason says. Indeed, the hotel remains as noxious as ever, though they've painted the exterior pink since my last visit.

"Maybe you'll like the swimming pool!" I smile brightly.

Jason smiles back. "Gee whiz, Mom, maybe I will!"

"Don't call her Mom," Ivan says.

"Why not? I thought you'd be happy if I called her Mom."

"Enough. Just quit it."

Ivan is in a suit. Ivan is always in a suit. Jason is in baggy shorts that seem to be swallowing his beanpole frame -- all knees and elbows. He carries his belongings in a paper bag with the name of a health food store on it. In this sad detail I see a thumbnail sketch of his mother, a harried, distracted, slightly overweight woman Ivan ditched around the time he met me. Jason is also carrying a skateboard and a headset CD player turned up so loud that I can hear it once the elevator doors close. If I'm not mistaken, there's a woman screaming the words "fuck the pain away" into his ears.

*