B. Hō͘-sòaⁿ Peh | 雨傘伯 - 1. 阮徛 tī 雨中

THE UMBRELLA MAN /by Roald Dahl

http://www.berkleymiddle.net/uploads/2/6/5/7/26570297/the_umbrella_man.pdf

Hō͘-sòaⁿ Peh | 雨傘伯

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1. Goán khiā tī hō͘ tiong

Góa boeh kā lí kóng chi̍t-ê chhù-bī ê tāi-chì, che sī cha-hng boeh-àm goán mama hām góa tú tio̍h ê. Góa kin-nî 12-hòe, sī chi̍t-ê cha-bó͘ gín-á. Goán mama 34-hòe, m̄-koh góa í-keng kiông boeh kap yi pêⁿ-koân ah.

Cha-hng ē-po͘, goán mama chhōa góa khì London khì khòaⁿ khí-kho. I-seng kóng góa chi̍t-ki tōa-chan ū chiù-khang; i thè góa kā pó͘ khí-lâi, ka-chài bē án-chóaⁿ thiàⁿ. Liáu-āu, goán khì chi̍t-keng kapi thiaⁿ. Góa chia̍h kin-chio-chûn, mama lim kapi. Goán boeh lī-khui hit sî, chha-put-to sī 6-tiám.

Goán kiâⁿ chhut kapi thiaⁿ ê sî, khai-sí lo̍h-hō͘. "Lán tio̍h kiò taksi," goán mama kóng. Goán tì kap chhēng ê sī pho͘-thong ê bō-á kap tōa-i, m̄-koh hō͘ lo̍h kah put-chí-á tōa.

Góa kóng, "Lán ná m̄ tiàm kapi thiaⁿ nih tán hō͘ thêng?" Góa siūⁿ boeh koh chia̍h kin-chio-chûn, he chiâⁿ hó-chia̍h.

"He lo̍h bē-thêng lah," goán mama kóng. "Lán kín lâi tńg."

Goán khiā tī hō͘ tiong ê jîn-hêng-tō, boeh kiò taksi. Chin chē taksi keng-kòe, m̄-koh lóng ū chài-lâng. "Lán nā ka-tī ū chi̍t-tâi hù su-ki ê chhia tō hó lah," goán mama án-ne kóng.

Hit-sî, chi̍t-ê lâng ǹg goán kiâⁿ kòe-lâi. I seⁿ-chò é-é ah, chin lāu, hoān-sè ū 70-gōa hòe. I hian-bō-á kiâⁿ chi̍t-ê lé, kā goán mama kóng, "Pháiⁿ-sè oh, góa hi-bāng lí bē kiàn-koài góa..." I ū hó-khòaⁿ ê pe̍h-sek téng-tûn-chhiu kap ōng-ōng ê pe̍h ba̍k-bâi, âng-gê ê bīn jiâu-jiâu. I jia tī i gia̍h koân-koân ê hō͘-sòaⁿ ē-bīn. 

"Sī oh?" Goán mama kóng, kek léng-léng koh kek hn̄g-hn̄g.

"Góa m̄-chai, kám ē-sái chhiáⁿ lí tàu saⁿ-kāng," i kóng. "Sió-khóa kā góa tàu saⁿ-kāng chi̍t-ē."

Góa khòaⁿ goán mama pòaⁿ-sìn pòaⁿ-gî teh khòaⁿ i. Goán mama sī kāu gî-sim ê lâng. Yi te̍k-pia̍t gî-sim nn̄g-hāng tāi-chì: chheⁿ-hūn ê cha-po͘-lâng kap sa̍h ê nn̄g. Ta̍k-kái chhiat-tiāu sa̍h-nn̄g téng-koân chat ê sî, yi lóng seng kō͘ thng-sî-á chhah ji̍p-khì, bē-su lāi-té kám ū niáu-chhí a̍h sī siáⁿ-mih. Nā sī chheⁿ-hūn cha-po͘, yi ê n̂g-kim kui-chek tō sī: "Lâng khòaⁿ tio̍h lú hó, lí tio̍h lú ài hoâi-gî i." Chit-ê é-kó͘ lāu-lâng te̍k-pia̍t chin hó. I chin hó-lé. I chin gâu kóng-ōe. I chhēng-chhah chiàⁿ-phài. I chin-chiàⁿ sī chi̍t-ê sin-sū. Góa chai i sī chi̍t-ê sin-sū, sī in-ūi i chhēng ê ê-á. "Khòaⁿ chi̍t-ê lâng chhēng ê ê-á, lí tō chai i sī-m̄-sī sin-sū," goán mama chóng-sī ài án-ne kóng. Chit-ê lâng chhēng súi-súi ê chang-sek phôe-ê.

"Tāi-chì sī án-ne," hit-ê é cha-po͘ kóng, "góa sió-khóa ū khùn-lân. Góa su-iàu ū-lâng pang-bâng. Góa pó-chèng, sió-khóa pang-bâng tō ē-sái. Sū-si̍t-siōng, he mā bô-siáⁿ, m̄-koh góa ū su-iàu. Hu-jîn, lí mā chai-iáⁿ, chhiūⁿ góa chit-khoán lāu-lâng lóng khah bô-thâu-sîn..."

Goán mama ē-hâi gia̍h koân, kō͘ phīⁿ khòaⁿ hit-ê lâng. Goán mama chit-lō khòaⁿ-lâng ê tàng-sng-phiⁿ chin-chiàⁿ khióng-pò͘. Tōa-pō͘-hūn lâng án-ne hō͘ khòaⁿ tio̍h lóng ē kín-tiuⁿ koh gông-ngia̍h. Ū chi̍t-kái, góa khòaⁿ tio̍h goán cha-bó͘ hāu-tiúⁿ hō͘ goán mama hit-ki tàng-sng-phiⁿ khòaⁿ tio̍h ê sî, soah tōa-chi̍h kah ná pe̍h-chhi án-ne o͘-pe̍h thi̍h. M̄-koh, hit-ê thâu-khak téng jia hō͘-sòaⁿ, tī jîn-hêng-tō ê é-kó͘ lâng ba̍k-chiu liân nih to bô nih. I un-jiû chhiò-chhiò, kóng, "Hu-jîn, góa chhiáⁿ lí siong-sìn, pêng-sî góa sī bē tī ke-lō͘ cha̍h sió-chiá kā yin kóng góa ê khùn-lân lah."

"Góa hi-bāng lí bē," goán mama kóng.

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1. 阮徛 tī 雨中

我欲 kā 你講一个趣味 ê 代誌, 這是昨昏欲暗阮媽媽和我拄著 ê. 我今年 12 歲, 是一个查某囡仔. 阮媽媽 34 歲, m̄-koh 我已經強欲 kap 她平懸 ah.

昨昏下晡, 阮媽媽 chhōa 我去 London 去看齒科. 醫生講我一支大 chan 有蛀空; 伊替我 kā 補起來, 佳哉袂按怎疼. 了後, 阮去一間 kapi 廳. 我食 kin 蕉船, 媽媽啉 kapi. 阮欲離開彼時, 差不多是 6 點.

阮行出 kapi 廳 ê 時, 開始落雨. "咱著叫 taksi," 阮媽媽講. 阮戴 kap 穿 ê 是普通 ê 帽仔 kap 大衣, m̄-koh 雨落 kah 不止仔大.

我講, "咱那毋踮 kapi 廳 nih 等雨停?" 我想欲 koh 食 kin 蕉船, he 誠好食.

"He 落袂停 lah," 阮媽媽講. "咱緊來轉."

阮徛 tī 雨中 ê 人行道, 欲叫 taksi. 真濟 taksi 經過, m̄-koh lóng 有載人. "咱若家治有一台附司機 ê 車 tō 好 lah," 阮媽媽 án-ne 講.

彼時, 一个人 ǹg 阮行過來. 伊生做矮矮 ah, 真老, 凡勢有 70 外歲. 伊掀帽仔行一个禮, kā 阮媽媽講, "歹勢 oh, 我希望你袂見怪我..." 伊有好看 ê 白色頂唇鬚 kap 旺旺 ê 白目眉, 紅牙 ê 面皺皺. 伊遮 tī 伊攑懸懸 ê 雨傘下面. 

"是 oh?" 阮媽媽講, 激冷冷 koh 激遠遠.

"我毋知, 敢會使請你鬥相共," 伊講. "小可 kā 我鬥相共一下."

我看阮媽媽半信半疑 teh 看伊. 阮媽媽是厚疑心 ê 人. 她特別疑心兩項代誌: 生份 ê 查埔人 kap 煠 ê 卵. 逐改切掉煠卵頂懸節 ê 時, 她 lóng 先 kō͘ 湯匙仔插入去, 袂輸內底敢有鳥鼠 a̍h 是啥物. 若是生份查埔, 她 ê 黃金規則 tō 是: "人看著 lú 好, 你著 lú 愛懷疑伊." 這个矮鼓老人特別真好. 伊真好禮. 伊真 gâu 講話. 伊穿插正派. 伊真正是一个紳士. 我知伊是一个紳士, 是因為伊穿 ê 鞋仔. "看一个人穿 ê 鞋仔, 你 tō 知伊是毋是紳士," 阮媽媽總是愛 án-ne 講. 這个人穿媠媠 ê 棕色皮鞋.

"代誌是 án-ne," 彼个矮查埔講, "我小可有困難. 我需要有人幫忙. 我保證, 小可幫忙 tō 會使. 事實上, he mā 無啥, m̄-koh 我有需要. 夫人, 你 mā 知影, 像我這款老人 lóng 較無頭神..."

阮媽媽下頦攑懸, kō͘ 鼻看彼个人. 阮媽媽 chit-lō 看人 ê 凍霜鼻真正恐怖. 大部份人 án-ne 予看著 lóng 會緊張 koh gông-ngia̍h. 有一改, 我看著阮查某校長予阮媽媽彼支凍霜鼻看著 ê 時, 煞大舌 kah ná 白痴 án-ne 烏白喋. M̄-koh, 彼个頭殼頂遮雨傘, tī 人行道 ê 矮鼓人目睭連 nih to 無 nih. 伊溫柔笑笑, 講, "夫人, 我請你相信, 平時我是袂 tī 街路閘小姐 kā 姻講我 ê 困難 lah."

"我希望你袂," 阮媽媽講.

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1.

I'm going to tell you about a funny thing that happened to my mother and me yesterday evening. I am twelve years old and I’m a girl. My mother is thirty-four but I am nearly as tall as her already.

Yesterday afternoon, my mother took me up to London to see the dentist. He found one hole. It was in a back tooth and he filled it without hurting me too much. After that, we went to a cafe. I had a banana split and my mother had a cup of coffee. By the time we got up to leave, it was about six o’clock.

When we came out of the cafe it had started to rain. ‘We must get a taxi,’ my mother said. We were wearing ordinary hats and coats, and it was raining quite hard.

‘Why don’t we go back into the cafe and wait for it to stop?’ I said. I wanted another of those banana splits. They were gorgeous.

‘It isn’t going to stop,’ my mother said. ‘We must get home.’

We stood on the pavement in the rain, looking for a taxi. Lots of them came by but they all had passengers inside them. ‘I wish we had a car with a chauffeur,’ my mother said.

Just then a man came up to us. He was a small man and he was pretty old, probably seventy or more. He raised his hat politely and said to my mother, ‘Excuse me, I do hope you will excuse me . . . ’ He had a fine white moustache and bushy white eyebrows and a wrinkly pink face. He was sheltering under an umbrella which he held high over his head.

‘Yes?’ my mother said, very cool and distant.

‘I wonder if I could ask a small favour of you,’ he said. ‘It is only a very small favour.’

I saw my mother looking at him suspiciously. She is a suspicious person, my mother. She is especially suspicious of two things – strange men and boiled eggs. When she cuts off the top of a boiled egg, she pokes around inside it with her spoon as though expecting to find a mouse or something. With strange men, she has a golden rule which says, ‘The nicer the man seems to be, the more suspicious you must become.’ This little old man was particularly nice. He was polite. He was well-spoken. He was well-dressed. He was a real gentleman. The reason I knew he was a gentleman was because of his shoes. ‘You can always spot a gentleman by the shoes he wears,’ was another of my mother’s favourite sayings. This man had beautiful brown shoes.

‘The truth of the matter is,’ the little man was saying, ‘I’ve got myself into a bit of a scrape. I need some help. Not much I assure you. It’s almost nothing, in fact, but I do need it. You see, madam, old people like me often become terribly forgetful . . . ’

My mother’s chin was up and she was staring down at him along the full length of her nose. It was fearsome thing, this frosty-nosed stare of my mother’s. Most people go to pieces completely when she gives it to them. I once saw my own headmistress begin to stammer and simper like an idiot when my mother gave her a really foul frosty-noser. But the little man on the pavement with the umbrella over his head didn’t bat an eyelid. He gave a gentle smile and said, ‘I beg you to believe, madam, that I am not in the habit of stopping ladies in the street and telling them my troubles.’

‘I should hope not,’ my mother said.

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