7. 祈禱, 祈禱

7. Kî-tó, kî-tó

"Khah kín tńg lâi!" in lāu-bú án-ne hiu, m̄-koh in lóng í-keng siau-sit tī chhiū-nâ lāi khì ah.

"Bailey Koai-kiáⁿ!" Amá ai-siaⁿ kiò, m̄-koh yi hoat-hiān, yi teh khòaⁿ ê sī bīn-thâu-chêng khû tio̍h ê Bē-ha̍h-ê. "Góa tō chai, lí sī chi̍t-ê hó lâng," yi piàⁿ-miā kóng. "Lí chi̍t-tiám-á to m̄-sī phó͘-thong ê lâng!"

"M̄-tio̍h, góa m̄-sī hó lâng," Bē-ha̍h-ê kòe chi̍t-khùn kóng, ká-ná i ū hó-hó khó-lī yi ê ōe, "m̄-koh, góa mā m̄-sī sè-kan siōng bái ê lâng. Goán pă kóng, góa sī hām goán hiaⁿ-tī chí-mōe bô kāng phín-chéng ê káu. ‘Lí chai bô,’ goán pă kóng, ‘û-ê kui sì-lâng bē mn̄g tāi-chì, ū-ê tio̍h chai tāi-chì sī án-chóaⁿ, iá chit-ê gín-á sī āu-piah hit-chióng. I ta̍k-hāng lóng boeh chhap!’" I kā o͘ bō-á tì khí-lâi koh hut-jiân gia̍h-thâu khòaⁿ, jiân-āu chhim-chhim khòaⁿ ji̍p-khì chhiū-nâ, ká-ná i iū kám-kak pháiⁿ-sè ah. "Chin sit-lé, tī kúi-ūi hu-jîn ê bīn-thâu-chêng, góa bô chhēng siatchuh." i kóng, keng-thâu sió giâ chi̍t-ē. "Tô-miā ê sî chhēng ê saⁿ, goán í-keng kā tâi tiāu ah, taⁿ chí-hó chhìn-chhái chhēng. Chiah-ê sī ùi chi̍t-kóa goán tú tio̍h ê lâng chioh ê," i án-ne kái-soeh.

 "He oân-choân bô būn-tê," Amá kóng. "Hoān-sè Bailey ê kha-báng nih ū ke ê siatchuh."

"Góa ē kā khòaⁿ-māi chi̍t-ē," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng.

"In kā chhōa khì tó-ūi?" gín-á ê lāu-bú chiam-siaⁿ mn̄g.

"Pă pún-sin tō sī chi̍t-tiuⁿ pâi," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng. "Lí bē-tàng kā i án-chóaⁿ. I m̄-bat jiá tio̍h Tong-kio̍k. Chí-sī ū kap in chih-chiap ê ki-khá." 

"Lí nā khéng chhì, lí mā ē chin tiong-si̍t," Amá kóng. Siūⁿ khòaⁿ māi, nā ē-tàng an-tùn lo̍h-lâi, kòe sù-sī ê seng-oa̍h, bián koh hoân-ló it-ti̍t ū-lâng boeh lia̍h lí, án-ne kám m̄-sī chiâⁿ hó?"

Bē-ha̍h-ê tiu-tiu kō͘ chhèng-pèⁿ tī thô͘-kha ōe, ká-ná i sī teh su-khó chit-ê tāi-chì. "Sī ah, hu-jîn, it-ti̍t ū-lâng boeh lia̍h," i nauh chi̍t-ē.

Amá chù-ì tio̍h, i bō-á āu-bīn ê keng-kah-kut ū kàu po̍h, in-ūi yi sī khiā tio̍h ǹg ē-bīn khòaⁿ i. "Lí bat kî-tó bô?" yi mn̄g.

I iô thâu. Yi kan-ta khòaⁿ tio̍h i ê o͘ bō-á tī siang-pêng keng-kah-kut tiong-kan hàiⁿ-tāng. "Bô," i kóng.

Chhiū-nâ thoân lâi chi̍t-ê chhèng-siaⁿ, bô-kú sûi koh chi̍t-siaⁿ. Chū án-ne chēng-chēng. Lāu hu-jîn ê thâu hut-leh se̍h kòe. Yi thiaⁿ ē-tio̍h hong tī chhiū-bóe chhoe kòe, ká-ná tn̂g-tn̂g boán-chiok ê suh-khùi siaⁿ. "Bailey Koai-kiáⁿ!" yi kiò chhut-lâi.

"Góa bat chò-kòe chi̍t-chām-á ê hok-im koa-chhiú," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng. "Góa chha-put-to hāng-hāng lóng bat chò kòe. Bat chò peng, lio̍k-kun kap hái-kun, tī kok-lāi, mā tī kok-gōa, kiat-hun nn̄g-pái, bat tī pin-gî-koán, bat tī thih-lō͘-kio̍k, bat chèng-choh thó͘-tē, bat tú tio̍h kńg-lê-á hong, khòaⁿ kòe chi̍t-ê lâng oa̍h-oa̍h sio sí," i gia̍h thâu khòaⁿ gín-á ê lāu-bú hām hit-ê chă-gín-á, nn̄g-lâng chē chò-hóe, yin ê bīn pe̍h sún-sún, ba̍k-chiu chheⁿ kìn-kìn; "góa sīm-chì khòaⁿ kòe cha-bó͘-lâng hông kō͘ pian sut," i kóng.

"Kî-tó, kî-tó," Amá khai-sí kóng, "kî-tó, kî-tó..."

"Góa ē-kì-tit, góa chū-lâi tō m̄-sī pháiⁿ-kiáⁿ," Bē-ha̍h-ê ná bîn-bāng án-ne kóng, "m̄-koh, m̄-chai tang-sî, góa chò m̄-tio̍h khì, hông sàng khì kàm-ga̍k. Góa hông oa̍h-tâi," i lia̍h koân kim-kim kā khòaⁿ, ín-khí yi ê chù-ì.

"Hit-sî lí tio̍h ài khai-sí kî-tó," yi kóng. "Lí chhòng siáⁿ, tē-it kái hông lia̍h khì kàm-ga̍k?"

"Chiàⁿ oat sī chi̍t-tó͘ chhiûⁿ," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng, koh gia̍h-thâu khòaⁿ he bô-hûn ê thiⁿ. "Tò oat, mā sī chi̍t tó͘ chhiûⁿ. Khòaⁿ téng-bīn sī thian-pông, khòaⁿ ē-bīn sī tē-pán. Góa bē-kì-tit góa chhòng siáⁿ, hu-jîn. Góa ku tī hia, koh ku tī hia, siūⁿ boeh kì khí-lâi góa chhòng siáⁿ, kàu taⁿ góa iáu-sī siūⁿ bē khí-lâi. Ū-sî, góa siūⁿ-kóng góa chóng ē kì khí-lâi, m̄-koh lóng kì bē-lâi."

"Hoān-sè in kā lí koaiⁿ m̄-tio̍h khì," lāu hu-jîn án-ne hâm-hô͘ kóng.

"M̄-sī," i kóng. "Bô hut m̄-tio̍h khì. In ū góa ê bûn-kiāⁿ."

"Lí it-tēng sī thau siáⁿ-mi̍h," yi kóng.

Bē-ha̍h-ê khin-khin léng-chhiò. "Bô lâng ū góa ài ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ," i kóng. "Sī kàm-ga̍k ê chú-jīm i-su kóng, góa só͘ chò ê sī thâi-sí goán pă, m̄-koh góa chai he sī hau-siâu. Goán pă tī 1919 sí tī liû-hêng kám-mō͘, he kap góa lóng bô tī-tāi. I tâi tī Hopewell Soaⁿ Chìm-sìn-hōe kàu-tn̂g ê bōng-hn̂g, lí ē-tàng ka-tī khì hia khòaⁿ."

"Lí nā khéng kî-tó, Iâ-so͘ ē pang-chō͘ lí."

"Án-ne tio̍h," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng.

"Nā án-ne, sī án-chóaⁿ lí m̄ kî-tó?" yi kā mn̄g, hut-jiân hoaⁿ-hí kah teh chùn.

"Góa bô-ài siáⁿ pang-chō͘," i kóng. "Góa ka-tī chò tō chin hó ah."

- -

7. 祈禱, 祈禱

"較緊轉來!" in 老母 án-ne 咻, m̄-koh in lóng 已經消失 tī 樹林內去 ah.

"Bailey 乖囝!" Amá 哀聲叫, m̄-koh 她發現, 她 teh 看 ê 是面頭前跍著 ê Bē-ha̍h-ê. "我 tō 知, 你是一个好人," 她拚命講. "你一點仔 to 毋是普通 ê 人!"

"M̄-tio̍h, 我毋是好人," Bē-ha̍h-ê 過一睏講, ká-ná 伊有好好考慮她 ê 話, "m̄-koh, 我 mā 毋是世間上䆀 ê 人. 阮 pă 講, 我是和阮兄弟姊妹無仝品種 ê 狗. ‘你知無,’ 阮 pă 講, ‘有 ê 規世人袂問代誌, 有 ê 著知代誌是按怎, iá 這个囡仔是後壁彼種. 伊逐項 lóng 欲 chhap!’" 伊 kā 烏帽仔戴起來 koh 忽然攑頭看, 然後深深看入去樹林, ká-ná 伊又感覺歹勢 ah. "真失禮, tī 幾位夫人 ê 面頭前, 我無穿 siatchuh." 伊講, 肩頭小夯一下. "逃命 ê 時穿 ê 衫, 阮已經 kā 埋掉 ah, 今只好凊彩穿. Chiah-ê 是 ùi 一寡阮拄著 ê 人借 ê," 伊 án-ne 解說.

 "彼完全無問題," Amá 講. "凡勢 Bailey ê kha-báng nih 有加 ê siatchuh."

"我會 kā 看覓一下," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講.

"In kā chhōa 去佗位?" 囡仔 ê 老母尖聲問.

"Pă 本身 tō 是一張牌," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講. "你袂當 kā 伊按怎. 伊 m̄-bat 惹著當局. 只是有 kap in chih 接 ê 技巧." 

"你若肯試, 你 mā 會真忠實," Amá 講. 想看覓, 若會當安頓落來, 過四序 ê 生活, 免 koh 煩惱一直有人欲掠你, án-ne 敢毋是誠好?"

Bē-ha̍h-ê tiu-tiu kō͘ 銃柄 tī 塗跤畫, ká-ná 伊是 teh 思考這个代誌. "是 ah, 夫人, 一直有人欲掠," 伊 nauh 一下.

Amá 注意著, 伊帽仔後面 ê 肩胛骨有夠薄, 因為她是徛著 ǹg 下面看伊. "你 bat 祈禱無?" 她問.

伊搖頭. 她干焦看著伊 ê 烏帽仔 tī 雙爿肩胛骨中間幌動. "無," 伊講.

樹林傳來一个銃聲, 無久隨 koh 一聲. 自 án-ne 靜靜. 老夫人 ê 頭 hut-leh 踅過. 她聽會著風 tī 樹尾吹過, ká-ná 長長滿足 ê 欶氣聲. "Bailey 乖囝!" 她叫出來.

"我 bat 做過一站仔 ê 福音歌手," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講. "我差不多項項 lóng bat 做過. Bat 做兵, 陸軍 kap 海軍, tī 國內, mā tī 國外, 結婚兩擺, bat tī 殯儀館, bat tī 鐵路局, bat 種作土地, bat 拄著捲螺仔風, 看過一个人活活燒死," 伊攑頭看囡仔 ê 老母和彼个 chă 囡仔, 兩人坐做伙, 姻 ê 面白 sún-sún, 目睭 chheⁿ kìn-kìn; "我甚至看過查某人 hông kō͘ 鞭 sut," 伊講.

"祈禱, 祈禱," Amá 開始講, "祈禱, 祈禱..."

"我會記得, 我自來 tō 毋是歹囝," Bē-ha̍h-ê ná 眠夢 án-ne 講, "m̄-koh, 毋知 tang-sî, 我做毋著去, hông 送去監獄. 我 hông 活埋," 伊掠懸金金 kā 看, 引起她 ê 注意.

"彼時你著愛開始祈禱," 她講. "你創啥, 第一改 hông 掠去監獄?"

"正斡是一堵牆," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講, koh 攑頭看 he 無雲 ê 天. "倒斡, mā 是一堵牆. 看頂面是天篷, 看下面是地板. 我袂記得我創啥, 夫人. 我跔 tī hia, koh 跔 tī hia, 想欲記起來我創啥, 到今我猶是想袂起來. 有時, 我想講我總會記起來, m̄-koh lóng 記袂來."

"凡勢 in kā 你關毋著去," 老夫人 án-ne 含糊講.

"毋是," 伊講. "無 hut 毋著去. In 有我 ê 文件."

"你一定是偷啥物," 她講.

Bē-ha̍h-ê 輕輕冷笑. "無人有我愛 ê 物件," 伊講. "是監獄 ê 主任醫師講, 我所做 ê 是刣死阮 pă, m̄-koh 我知彼是 hau-siâu. 阮 pă tī 1919 死 tī 流行感冒, he kap 我 lóng 無治代. 伊埋 tī Hopewell 山浸信會教堂 ê 墓園, 你會當 ka-tī 去 hia 看."

"你若肯祈禱, 耶穌會幫助你."

"Án-ne 著," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講.

"若 án-ne, 是按怎你毋祈禱?" 她 kā 問, 忽然歡喜 kah teh 顫.

"我無愛啥幫助," 伊講. "我 ka-tī 做 tō 真好 ah."

- -

7.

"Come back this instant!" his mother shrilled but they all disappeared into the woods.

"Bailey Boy!" the grandmother called in a tragic voice but she found she was looking at The Misfit squatting on the ground in front of her. "I just know you're a good man," she said desperately. "You're not a bit common!"

"Nome, I ain't a good man," The Misfit said after a second as if he had considered her statement carefully, "but I ain't the worst in the world neither. My daddy said I was a different breed of dog from my brothers and sisters. 'You know,' Daddy said, 'it's some that can live their whole life out without asking about it and it's others has to know why it is, and this boy is one of the latters. He's going to be into everything!'" He put on his black hat and looked up suddenly and then away deep into the woods as if he were embarrassed again. "I'm sorry I don't have on a shirt before you ladies," he said, hunching his shoulders slightly. "We buried our clothes that we had on when we escaped and we're just making do until we can get better. We borrowed these from some folks we met," he explained.

"That's perfectly all right," the grandmother said. "Maybe Bailey has an extra shirt in his suitcase."

"I'll look and see terrectly," The Misfit said.

"Where are they taking him?" the children's mother screamed.

"Daddy was a card himself," The Misfit said. "You couldn't put anything over on him. He never got in trouble with the Authorities though. Just had the knack of handling them."

"You could be honest too if you'd only try," said the grandmother. "Think how wonderful it would be to settle down and live a comfortable life and not have to think about somebody chasing you all the time."

The Misfit kept scratching in the ground with the butt of his gun as if he were thinking about it. "Yes'm, somebody is always after you," he murmured.

The grandmother noticed how thin his shoulder blades were just behind his hat because she was standing up looking down on him. "Do you ever pray?" she asked.

He shook his head. All she saw was the black hat wiggle between his shoulder blades. "Nome," he said.

There was a pistol shot from the woods, followed closely by another. Then silence. The old lady's head jerked around. She could hear the wind move through the tree tops like a long satisfied insuck of breath. "Bailey Boy!" she called.

"I was a gospel singer for a while," The Misfit said. "I been most everything. Been in the arm service, both land and sea, at home and abroad, been twict married, been an undertaker, been with the railroads, plowed Mother Earth, been in a tornado, seen a man burnt alive oncet," and he looked up at the children's mother and the little girl who were sitting close together, their faces white and their eyes glassy; "I even seen a woman flogged," he said.

"Pray, pray," the grandmother began, "pray, pray . . ."

"I never was a bad boy that I remember of," The Misfit said in an almost dreamy voice, "but somewheres along the line I done something wrong and got sent to the penitentiary. I was buried alive," and he looked up and held her attention to him by a steady stare.

"That's when you should have started to pray," she said. "What did you do to get sent to the penitentiary that first time?"

"Turn to the right, it was a wall," The Misfit said, looking up again at the cloudless sky. "Turn to the left, it was a wall. Look up it was a ceiling, look down it was a floor. I forget what I done, lady. I set there and set there, trying to remember what it was I done and I ain't recalled it to this day. Oncet in a while, I would think it was coming to me, but it never come."

"Maybe they put you in by mistake," the old lady said vaguely.

"Nome," he said. "It wasn't no mistake. They had the papers on me."

"You must have stolen something," she said.

The Misfit sneered slightly. "Nobody had nothing I wanted," he said. "It was a head-doctor at the penitentiary said what I had done was kill my daddy but I known that for a lie. My daddy died in nineteen ought nineteen of the epidemic flu and I never had a thing to do with it. He was buried in the Mount Hopewell Baptist churchyard and you can go there and see for yourself."

"If you would pray," the old lady said, "Jesus would help you."

"That's right," The Misfit said.

"Well then, why don't you pray?" she asked trembling with delight suddenly.

"I don't want no hep," he said. "I'm doing all right by myself."

- -