8. Hoān-sè I bô hō͘ lâng koh-oa̍h
Bobby Lee hām Hiram ùi chhiū-nâ bān-bān kiâⁿ tńg-lâi. Bobby Lee thoa chi̍t-niá téng-bīn ū ìn chhíⁿ-nâ eng-ko ê n̂g siatchuh.
"Siatchuh phiaⁿ hō͘ góa, Bobby Lee," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng. Siatchuh phiaⁿ kòe-lâi, lak tī i ê keng-kah-thâu, i sûi kā chhēng khí-lâi. Amá kóng bē-chhut hit-niá siatchuh hō͘ i siūⁿ tio̍h siáⁿ. "M̄ lah, hu-jîn," Bē-ha̍h-ê ná liú saⁿ ná án-ne kóng, "Góa hoat-hiān hoān-chōe mā bô siáⁿ. Lí ē-sái chò che, lí mā ē-sái chò he, thâi chi̍t-ê lâng, a̍h sī pak i ê chhia-lián, in-ūi kín-bān lí tō bē-kì-tit lí chò kòe siáⁿ, chí-sī tit-tio̍h chhú-hoa̍t."
Gín-á ê lāu-bú hoat chhut ō͘ siaⁿ, ká-ná yi teh chhoán bô khùi. "Hu-jîn," i mn̄g, "lí hām hit-ê sè-hàn chă-gín-á hām Bobby Lee kap Hiram tâng-chê kòe hit-pêng, khì hām lín ang chò-hóe, hó bô?"
"Hó, to-siā," lāu-bú khin siaⁿ kóng. Yi ê tò-chhiú sûi-sûi, lēng-gōa hit-chhiú phō í-keng khùn khì ê eⁿ-á. "Hû hit-ê hu-jîn khí-lih, Hiram," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng, yi piàⁿ-sè boeh peh chhut soaⁿ-kau, "iá Bobby Lee, lí khì khan hit-ê sè-hàn chă-gín-á ê chhiú."
"Góa bô-ài kap i khan-chhiú," June Star kóng. "I hō͘ góa siūⁿ tio̍h ti."
Tōa-kho͘ siàu-liân-ke bīn âng khí-lâi, chhiò-chhiò, tō la̍k yi ê chhiú-kut, kā yi khiú tio̍h, tòe Hiram hām yin lāu-bú kiâⁿ ji̍p chhiū-nâ.
Tan-to̍k hām Bē-ha̍h-ê chò-hóe, Amá soah kóng bô ōe-siaⁿ. Thiⁿ-téng bô hûn mā bô ji̍t. Sì chiu-ûi tî-liáu chhiū-nâ, siáⁿ to bô. Yi boeh kiò i tio̍h kî-tó. Yi khui-chhùi koh ha̍p-lo̍h kúi-ā kái,lóng kóng bē chhut chhùi. Lo̍h-bóe, yi thiaⁿ tio̍h ka-tī án-ne kóng, "Iâ-so͘, Iâ-so͘," ì-sù sī: Iâ-so͘ ē pang-chō͘ lí, m̄-koh yi kóng ê hong-sek, thiaⁿ khí-lâi kài sêng yi sī teh kàn-kiāu*. [*Jesus (Iâ-so͘) ū sî iōng tī kàn-kiāu]
"Sī ah, hu-jîn," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng, ká-ná i mā tông-ì. "Iâ-so͘ chèng-bêng sū-sū bô kong-pêng. Tī I tō ná tī góa, m̄-koh I bô hoān-chōe, iá in ē-tàng chèng-bêng góa ū, in-ūi in ū góa ê bûn-kiāⁿ. Tong-jiân," i kóng, "i m̄-bat hō͘ góa khòaⁿ góa ê bûn-kiāⁿ. Tō sī án-ne, taⁿ góa ka-tī chhiam-miâ. Chin kú í-chêng góa tō kóng kòe, lí kō͘ chi̍t-ê chhiam-miâ, chhiam lí chò ê ta̍k-hāng tāi-chì, koh lâu chi̍t-hūn hù-pún. Án-ne lí tō chai lí bat chò kòe siáⁿ, lí tō kā hoān-chōe kap chhú-hoa̍t the̍h chhut-lâi pí-kàu, khòaⁿ ū sio-ha̍h bô, chiong-kî-bóe, lí tō ū mi̍h-kiāⁿ thang chèng-bêng lí bô tit-tio̍h chèng-khak ê tùi-thāi. Góa kiò ka-tī Bē-ha̍h-ê," i kóng, "in-ūi góa bô hoat-tō͘ hō͘ góa só͘ chò m̄-tio̍h ê tāi-chì hām góa só͘ tit-tio̍h ê chhú-hoa̍t sio-ha̍h."
Chhiū-nâ thoân lâi chi̍t-ê chhak-hīⁿ ê chiam-kiò siaⁿ, sûi tòe chi̍t-ê chhèng siaⁿ. "Chāi lí khòaⁿ, án-ne kám tio̍h, hu-jîn, chi̍t-ê tit-tio̍h kui-tui ê chhú-hoa̍t, iá pa̍t-ê bô jīm-hô chhú-hoa̍t?"
"Iâ-so͘ ah!" lāu hu-jîn tōa kiò. "Lí ū chin hó ê hiat-thóng! Góa chai, lí bē thâi hū-jîn lâng! Góa chai lí chhut-sin hó ka-têng! Kî-tó! Iâ-so͘ ah, lí bô eng-kai thâi chi̍t-ê hū-jin lâng. Góa ē kā góa só͘ ū ê chîⁿ hō͘ lí!"
"Hu-jîn," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng, ná hn̄g-hn̄g khòaⁿ ji̍p yi āu-bīn ê chhiū-nâ, "m̄-bat ū sí-lâng the̍h sió-hùi hō͘ pin-gî-koán ê lâng.
Koh ū nn̄g ê chhèng-siaⁿ, Amá taⁿ thâu, ná chi̍t-chiah tio̍h hóe-sio ê lāu hóe-ke-bó khàu boeh lim chúi, tōa siaⁿ kiò, "Bailey Koai-kiáⁿ, Bailey Koai-kiáⁿ!" ná chhiūⁿ yi ê sim-koaⁿ boeh chhùi khì ah.
"Iâ-so͘ sī ûi-it bat hō͘ sí-lâng koh-oa̍h ê CHI̍T-Ê," Bē-ha̍h-ê kè-sio̍k kóng, "iá I si̍t-chāi bô eng-kai án-ne chò. I chèng-bêng sū-sū bô kong-pêng. I nā ū chò-kàu I só͘ kóng ê, án-ne lí mā bô siáⁿ hó chò, kan-ta sī pàng-tiāu it-chhè, tòe I kiâⁿ, I nā chò bē kàu, lí mā m̄-bián chhòng siáⁿ, put-kò sī chīn-liōng hiáng-sīu lí iáu chhun ê kúi hun-cheng -- khì thâi lâng, a̍h pàng-hóe sio i ê chhù, a̍h tùi i chò kóa pi-phí ê tāi-chì. Bô khoài-lo̍k, kan-ta sī pi-phí," i kóng, i ê siaⁿ-im chha-put-to í-keng sī kō͘ jiáng ê.
"Hoān-sè I bô hō͘ lâng koh-oa̍h," lāu hu-jîn án-ne nauh, m̄-chai yi sī teh kóng siáⁿ, koh kám-kak hîn-hîn, yi soah un lo̍h tī kau té, siang-kha khut tio̍h.
"Góa bô tī hia, só͘-í góa bē-tàng kóng I bô," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng. "Góa nā ū tī hia tō hó lah," i kóng, kō͘ kûn-thâu-bú tûi thô͘-kha. "Góa bô tī hia sī m̄-tio̍h, in-ūi góa nā ū tī hia, góa tō ē chai. Thiaⁿ hó, hu-jîn," i koân-siaⁿ kóng, "góa nā ū tī hia, góa tō ē chai, góa tō bē chhin-chhiūⁿ góa taⁿ án-ne." I ê siaⁿ ká-ná boeh phòa khì, Amá ê thâu-khak chheng-chhéⁿ chi̍t-ē. Yi khòaⁿ tio̍h hit-lâng ê bīn ù óa yi ê, bē-su i tit-boeh khàu chhut-lâi, iá yi tō khin-siaⁿ nauh kóng, "Koai, lí mā sī góa ê eⁿ-á. Lí mā sī góa ê gín-á!" Yi chhun-chhiú, bong i ê keng-thâu. Bē-ha̍h-ê tò-thè thiàu, ká-ná khì hō͘ chôa kā tio̍h, ǹg yi ê heng-chêng tōaⁿ saⁿ chhèng. Lo̍h-bóe, i kā chhèng khǹg tī thô͘-kha, ba̍k-kiàⁿ pak lo̍h-lâi, kā chhit hō͘ chheng.
Hiram kap Bobby Lee ùi chhiū-nâ tńg-lâi, khiā tī kau téng, ǹg-ē khòaⁿ Amá, pòaⁿ chē pòaⁿ tó tī chi̍t-khut hoeh nih, ná gín-á án-ne siang-kha áu tī sin-khu ē, yi ê bīn ǹg thiⁿ bî-bî teh chhiò.
Bô kòa ba̍k-kiàⁿ, Bē-ha̍h-ê ê ba̍k-kheng âng-âng, bīn-sek pe̍h sún-sún, khòaⁿ khí-lâi nńg koh lám. "Kā thoa cháu, thoa khì lín chhōa pa̍t-lâng khì hia," i kóng, kā hit-chiah teh lù i ê kha-kut ê niau-á lia̍h khí-lâi.
"Yi chin gâu kóng-ōe, kám m̄-sī?" Bobby Lee kóng, ná hoah-siaⁿ chhu lo̍h-lâi kau-té.
"Yi pún-té eng-kai sī chi̍t-ê hó cha-bó͘," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng, "jû-kó tī yi ê seng-oa̍h tiong sûi-sî ū-lâng gia̍h chhèng boeh kā tōaⁿ."
"Chiâⁿ hó-sńg!" Bobby Lee kóng.
"Tiām khì, Bobby Lee," Bē-ha̍h-ê kóng. "Jîn-seng bô chin-chiàⁿ ê khoài-lo̍k."
[Soah]
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8. 凡勢伊無予人 koh 活
Bobby Lee 和 Hiram ùi 樹林慢慢行轉來. Bobby Lee 拖一領頂面有印醒藍鸚哥 ê 黃 siatchuh.
"Siatchuh 抨予我, Bobby Lee," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講. Siatchuh 抨過來, lak tī 伊 ê 肩胛頭, 伊隨 kā 穿起來. Amá 講袂出彼領 siatchuh 予伊想著啥. "毋 lah, 夫人," Bē-ha̍h-ê ná 鈕衫 ná án-ne 講, "我發現犯罪 mā 無啥. 你會使做 che, 你 mā 會使做 he, 刣一个人, a̍h 是剝伊 ê 車輪, 因為緊慢你 tō 袂記得你做過啥, 只是得著處罰."
囡仔 ê 老母發出 ō͘ 聲, ká-ná 她 teh 喘無氣. "夫人," 伊問, "你和彼个細漢 chă 囡仔和 Bobby Lee kap Hiram 同齊過彼爿, 去和恁翁做伙, 好無?"
"好, 多謝," 老母輕聲講. 她 ê 倒手垂垂, 另外彼手抱已經睏去 ê 嬰仔. "扶彼个夫人起 lih, Hiram," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講, 她拚勢欲 peh 出山溝, "iá Bobby Lee, 你去牽彼个細漢 chă 囡仔 ê 手."
"我無愛 kap 伊牽手," June Star 講. "伊予我想著豬."
大箍少年家面紅起來, 笑笑, tō la̍k 她 ê 手骨, kā 她搝著, 綴 Hiram 和姻老母行入樹林.
單獨和 Bē-ha̍h-ê 做伙, Amá 煞講無話聲. 天頂無雲 mā 無日. 四周圍除了樹林, 啥 to 無. 她欲叫伊著祈禱. 她開喙 koh 合落幾若改, lóng kóng袂出喙. 落尾, 她聽著 ka-tī án-ne 講, "耶穌, 耶穌," 意思是: 耶穌會幫助你, m̄-koh 她講 ê 方式, 聽起來蓋成她是 teh kàn-kiāu*. [*Jesus (耶穌) 有時用 tī kàn-kiāu]
"是 ah, 夫人," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講, ká-ná 伊 mā 同意. "耶穌證明事事無公平. Tī 伊 tō ná tī 我, m̄-koh 伊無犯罪, iá in 會當證明我有, 因為 in 有我 ê 文件. 當然," 伊講, " m̄-bat 予我看我 ê 文件. Tō 是 án-ne, 今我 ka-tī 簽名. 真久以前我 tō 講過, 你 kō͘ 一个簽名, 簽你做 ê 逐項代誌, koh 留一份副本. Án-ne 你 tō 知你 bat 做過啥, 你 tō kā 犯罪 kap 處罰提出來比較, 看有相合無, 終其尾, 你 tō 有物件通證明你無得著正確 ê 對待. 我叫 ka-tī Bē-ha̍h-ê," 伊講, "因為我無法度予我所做毋著 ê 代誌和我所得著 ê 處罰相合."
樹林傳來一个鑿耳 ê 尖叫聲, 隨綴一个銃聲. "在你看, án-ne 敢著, 夫人, 一个得著規堆 ê 處罰, iá 別个無任何處罰?"
"耶穌 ah!" 老夫人大叫. "你有真好 ê 血統! 我知, 你袂刣婦人 lâng! 我知你出身好家庭! 祈禱! 耶穌 ah, 你無應該刣一个婦人 lâng. 我會 kā 我所有 ê 錢予你!"
"夫人," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講, ná 遠遠看入她後面 ê 樹林, "m̄-bat 有死人提小費予殯儀館 ê 人.
Koh 有兩个銃聲, Amá taⁿ 頭, ná 一隻著火燒 ê 老火雞母哭欲啉水, 大聲叫, "Bailey 乖囝, Bailey 乖囝!" ná 像她 ê 心肝欲碎去 ah.
"耶穌是唯一 bat 予死人 koh 活 ê 一个," Bē-ha̍h-ê 繼續講, "iá 伊實在無應該 án-ne 做. 伊證明事事無公平. 伊若有做到伊所講 ê, án-ne 你 mā 無啥好做, 干焦是放掉一切, 綴伊行, 伊若做袂到, 你 mā 毋免創啥, 不過是盡量享受你猶賰 ê 幾分鐘 -- 去刣人, a̍h 放火燒伊 ê 厝, a̍h 對伊做寡卑鄙 ê 代誌. 無快樂, 干焦是卑鄙," 伊講, 伊 ê 聲音差不多已經是 kō͘ 嚷 ê.
"凡勢伊無予人 koh 活," 老夫人 án-ne nauh, 毋知她是 teh 講啥, koh 感覺眩眩, 她煞 un 落 tī 溝底, 雙跤屈著.
"我無 tī hia, 所以我袂當講伊 bô," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講. "我若有 tī hia tō 好 lah," 伊講, kō͘ 拳頭母捶塗跤. "我無 tī hia 是毋著, 因為我若有 tī hia, 我 tō 會知. 聽好, 夫人," 伊懸聲講, "我若有 tī hia, 我 tō 會知, 我 tō 袂親像我今 án-ne." 伊 ê 聲 ká-ná 欲破去, Amá ê 頭殼清醒一下. 她看著彼人 ê 面, ù 倚她 ê, 袂輸伊得欲哭出來, iá 她 tō 輕聲 nauh 講, "乖, 你 mā 是我 ê 嬰仔. 你 mā 是我 ê 囡仔!" 她伸手, 摸伊 ê 肩頭. Bē-ha̍h-ê 倒退跳, ká-ná 去予蛇咬著, ǹg 她 ê 胸前 tōaⁿ 三銃. 落尾, 伊 kā 銃囥 tī 塗跤, 目鏡剝落來, kā 拭予清.
Hiram kap Bobby Lee ùi 樹林轉來, 徛 tī 溝頂, ǹg 下看 Amá, 半坐半倒 tī 一窟血 nih, ná 囡仔 án-ne 雙跤拗 tī 身軀下, 她 ê 面 ǹg 天微微 teh 笑.
無掛目鏡, Bē-ha̍h-ê ê 目框紅紅, 面色白 sún-sún, 看起來軟 koh lám. "Kā 拖走, 拖去恁 chhōa 別人去 hia," 伊講, kā 彼隻 teh lù 伊 ê 跤骨 ê 貓仔掠起來.
"她真 gâu 講話, 敢毋是?" Bobby Lee 講, ná 喝聲趨落來溝底.
"她本底應該是一个好查某," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講, "如果 tī 她 ê 生活中隨時有人攑銃欲 kā tōaⁿ."
"誠好耍!" Bobby Lee 講.
"恬去, Bobby Lee," Bē-ha̍h-ê 講. "人生無真正 ê 快樂."
[煞]
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8.
Bobby Lee and Hiram came ambling back from the woods. Bobby Lee was dragging a yellow shirt with bright blue parrots in it.
"Thow me that shirt, Bobby Lee," The Misfit said. The shirt came flying at him and landed on his shoulder and he put it on. The grandmother couldn't name what the shirt reminded her of. "No, lady," The Misfit said while he was buttoning it up, "I found out the crime don't matter. You can do one thing or you can do another, kill a man or take a tire off his car, because sooner or later you're going to forget what it was you done and just be punished for it."
The children's mother had begun to make heaving noises as if she couldn't get her breath. "Lady," he asked, "would you and that little girl like to step off yonder with Bobby Lee and Hiram and join your husband?"
"Yes, thank you," the mother said faintly. Her left arm dangled helplessly and she was holding the baby, who had gone to sleep, in the other. "Hep that lady up, Hiram," The Misfit said as she struggled to climb out of the ditch, "and Bobby Lee, you hold onto that little girl's hand."
"I don't want to hold hands with him," June Star said. "He reminds me of a pig."
The fat boy blushed and laughed and caught her by the arm and pulled her off into the woods after Hiram and her mother.
Alone with The Misfit, the grandmother found that she had lost her voice. There was not a cloud in the sky nor any sun. There was nothing around her but woods. She wanted to tell him that he must pray. She opened and closed her mouth several times before anything came out. Finally she found herself saying, "Jesus. Jesus," meaning, Jesus will help you, but the way she was saying it, it sounded as if she might be cursing.
"Yes'm," The Misfit said as if he agreed. "Jesus shown everything off balance. It was the same case with Him as with me except He hadn't committed any crime and they could prove I had committed one because they had the papers on me. Of course," he said, "they never shown me my papers. That's why I sign myself now. I said long ago, you get you a signature and sign everything you do and keep a copy of it. Then you'll know what you done and you can hold up the crime to the punishment and see do they match and in the end you'll have something to prove you ain't been treated right. I call myself The Misfit," he said, "because I can't make what all I done wrong fit what all I gone through in punishment."
There was a piercing scream from the woods, followed closely by a pistol report. "Does it seem right to you, lady, that one is punished a heap and another ain't punished at all?"
"Jesus!" the old lady cried. "You've got good blood! I know you wouldn't shoot a lady! I know you come from nice people! Pray! Jesus, you ought not to shoot a lady. I'll give you all the money I've got!"
"Lady," The Misfit said, looking beyond her far into the woods, "there never was a body that give the undertaker a tip."
There were two more pistol reports and the grandmother raised her head like a parched old turkey hen crying for water and called, "Bailey Boy, Bailey Boy!" as if her heart would break.
"Jesus was the only One that ever raised the dead," The Misfit continued, "and He shouldn't have done it. He shown everything off balance. If He did what He said, then it's nothing for you to do but thow away everything and follow Him, and if He didn't, then it's nothing for you to do but enjoy the few minutes you got left the best way you can--by killing somebody or burning down his house or doing some other meanness to him. No pleasure but meanness," he said and his voice had become almost a snarl.
"Maybe He didn't raise the dead," the old lady mumbled, not knowing what she was saying and feeling so dizzy that she sank down in the ditch with her legs twisted under her.
"I wasn't there so I can't say He didn't," The Misfit said. "I wisht I had of been there," he said, hitting the ground with his fist. "It ain't right I wasn't there because if I had of been there I would of known. Listen lady," he said in a high voice, "if I had of been there I would of known and I wouldn't be like I am now." His voice seemed about to crack and the grandmother's head cleared for an instant. She saw the man's face twisted close to her own as if he were going to cry and she murmured, "Why you're one of my babies. You're one of my own children!" She reached out and touched him on the shoulder. The Misfit sprang back as if a snake had bitten him and shot her three times through the chest. Then he put his gun down on the ground and took off his glasses and began to clean them.
Hiram and Bobby Lee returned from the woods and stood over the ditch, looking down at the grandmother who half sat and half lay in a puddle of blood with her legs crossed under her like a child's and her face smiling up at the cloudless sky.
Without his glasses, The Misfit's eyes were red-rimmed and pale and defenseless-looking. "Take her off and thow her where you shown the others," he said, picking up the cat that was rubbing itself against his leg.
"She was a talker, wasn't she?" Bobby Lee said, sliding down the ditch with a yodel.
"She would of been a good woman," The Misfit said, "if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life."
"Some fun!" Bobby Lee said.
"Shut up, Bobby Lee," The Misfit said. "It's no real pleasure in life."
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