2. 伊 ê 三支手機仔常在響

2. I ê saⁿ-ki chhiú-ki-á chhiâng-chāi hiáng

"Lí chiâⁿ thé-thiap," góa kóng, tòa chi̍t-chióng am-khàm siong-hāi ê kòe-tō͘ khau-sé. I tìm-thâu, ká-ná i tông-ì góa ê kóng-hoat. Góa kā phōe-toaⁿ khiú kàu ē-hâi. Góa tio̍h kín tńg góa tòa tī Surulere ê kong-gū, kā i ê hō-má ùi góa ê chhiú-ki-á thâi-tiāu. M̄-koh, góa koh lâu lo̍h-lâi. Góa lâu 13 kò goe̍h koh 8 kang, tōa pō͘-hūn tòa i tī Victoria Tó ê chhù -- he sī chi̍t-keng thè-sek ê pe̍h chhù, ū an-chēng ê khoan-khoah koh thong-hong ê khong-kan, he sī khí tī Eng-kok si̍t-bîn thóng-tī ê sî-kî, khiā tī chi̍t-ê móa-sī kóe-chí-chhiū ê siā-khu, ûi-chhiûⁿ pê-móa chhì-á-hoe (bougainvillea). I kă kóng, i boeh chhōa góa khì in Lebanon pêng-iú ê pin-koán, tī i teh chéng-siu Ikoyi ê chhù ê sî, i tō sī tòa tī hia. Góa hoa̍h-lo̍h chhia ê sî, kám-kak ná chhiūⁿ bô-ì-tiong chông-ji̍p chi̍t-ê sîn-pì ê hoe-hn̂g. Hiòng chhù ê hêng-tō sì-chiu, ûi kah ba̍t-ba̍t ê ji̍t-chhun hoe, ū-ê pe̍h, ū-ê hún-âng. Chia ê khong-khì chheng-sin, sīm-chì ū phang-bī, kui-ê hō͘ góa siūⁿ-tio̍h keng-sin. I teh khòaⁿ góa; góa kám-kak ē-tio̍h, i sī gōa-nī hi-bāng góa kah-ì chia.

"Che sī lí ê chhù, kám m̄-sī?" góa kóng. "Che m̄-sī sio̍k-tī lí ê Lebanon pêng-iú."

I sóa óa góa, tio̍h chi̍t-kiaⁿ. "Chhiáⁿ m̄-thang gō͘-hōe. Góa pún-chiâⁿ boeh kā lí kóng, góa chí-sī boăi lí siūⁿ-kóng che put-kò sī chi̍t-chióng..." I thêng lo̍h-lâi, khan góa ê chhiú. "Góa chai pa̍t-ê cha-po͘ án-nóa chò, m̄-koh góa kap in bô-kāng. Góa bē chhōa cha-bó͘ lâi chia. Góa kū-nî bé chia, boeh kā khà-tiāu thang khí chi̍t-ê kong-gū khu, m̄-koh khòaⁿ tio̍h i hiah súi. Goán pêng-iú kóng góa pó-liû che sī teh siáu. Lí chai-iáⁿ, tī chit-ê kok-ka bô-lâng chun-tiōng kū ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Hiān-chú-sî, góa tōa-pō͘-hūn sî-kan tī chia siōng-pan, bô koh khì góa ê pan-kong-sek."

Goán khiā tī po-lê thoah-mn̂g piⁿ, ji̍p-khì sī lō͘-tâi, hōng-hông-bo̍k ê ki-oe thèⁿ tī lō͘-tâi téng. Siā lo̍h ê âng-hoe lak tī tîn-í téng. "Góa kah-ì chē tī hia khòaⁿ chiáu-á," i ná kí ná án-ne kóng.

I kah-ì chiáu-á. Chiáu-á tùi góa lâi kóng, goân-pún tō sī chiáu-á niā-niā, m̄-koh kap i chò-hóe, góa piàn-chò bô-kāng ê lâng: góa mā piàn-chò kah-ì chiáu-á ê lâng. Koh lâi hit-ê Lé-pài-ji̍t chá-khí, its goán tē-it pái chò-hóe ê chiu-boa̍t, goán tī an-chēng ê lō͘-tâi kau-ōaⁿ tha̍k Next pò-chóa ê bô-kāng pō͘-hūn ê sî, i gia̍h-thâu ǹg thiⁿ, kóng, "Hia ū chi̍t-chiah kheh-chiáu (magpie). In kah-ì kim sih-sih ê mi̍h." Góa sim-nih án-ne siūⁿ, kā i ê kiat-hun chhiú-chí khǹg tī tîn-toh-á téng-bīn, hō͘ he chiáu-á chhèng lo̍h-lâi éng-oán kā chah-cháu.

"Góa chai lí kap pa̍t-lâng bô kāng!" khòaⁿ góa teh tha̍k siong-gia̍p kap ūn-tōng pán ê sin-bûn, i án-ne kek-tōng kóng, ì-sù ká-ná sī góa ê bô-kāng hoán-èng tio̍h i ê hó phín-bī. Choăn, goán jia̍t-lia̍t thó-lūn pò-chóa, thó-lūn AIT hām CNN ê sin-bûn pò-tō,  hoat-hiān chē-chē chiap-kīn ê koan-tiám. Goán m̄-bat thó-lūn góa ê tòa ê būn-tê. Siuⁿ òaⁿ sái-chhia tńg Surulere bô an-choân, i kan-ta kè-sio̍k kóng, "Lí ná m̄ bîn-á-chài kā mi̍h-kiāⁿ chah-lâi chia, án-ne lí tō ē-sái ùi chia khì siōng-pan?" it-ti̍t kàu góa tōa-pō͘-hūn ê saⁿ lóng khǹg tī saⁿ-á-tû, góa ê pó-sip-song mā khǹg tī e̍k-keng ê thang-á tâi. I kā chîⁿ khǹg tī toh-á téng hō͘ góa, té tī chang-sek ê phe-lông, téng-bīn siá "Hō͘ lí ka-iû iōng," bē-su góa tio̍h khai 50,000 naira bé gasolin. Ū-sî i mn̄g góa tio̍h su-té-hā ōaⁿ-saⁿ bô, bē-su i m̄-bat khòaⁿ góa ê lō͘-thé chē-chē kái ah.

Goán bô tâm-lūn in bó͘ a̍h gín-á a̍h góa ê su seng-oa̍h a̍h tang-sî góa boeh ún-tēng lo̍h-lâi, bián-tit i tòng tio̍h góa ê lō͘. Hoān-sè sī hiah-ê goán bô kóng ê tāi-chì hō͘ góa teh koan-chhat i. I ê phôe-hu o͘ kah góa chhiò kóng i sī ùi Gambia lâi ê; góa kā i kóng, ká-sú i sī cha-bó͘, i ē chhōe bô ha̍h hit-ê sek-tiāu ê boah-bīn hún. Góa khòaⁿ i sió-sim phah-khui ū phang-bī ê tâm-chóa chhit i ê ba̍k-kiàⁿ, a̍h tī i ê chhan-pôaⁿ chhiat ke-bah, a̍h kā mô͘-kin hâ tī io, tī li-li liap-liap ê tō͘-châi ē-bīn phah-kat, tùi chi̍t-tiâu phó͘-thong mô͘-kin lâi kóng, hit-ê kat ū-kàu lè-táu. Góa án-ne kā kì tio̍h, in-ūi góa pēng bô liáu-kái i. I ū lé-māu, i ê seng-oa̍h sūn-sūn sī-sī, i ê chhiú-ńg-liú chóng-sī chin ū phín-bī.

I ê saⁿ-ki chhiú-ki-á chhiâng-chāi hiáng; góa chai sī in bó͘ khà lâi, in-ūi i ē cháu khì piān-só͘ a̍h chhut-khì iông-tâi; góa mā chai sī chèng-hú koaⁿ-oân khà lâi, in-ūi sū-āu i ē kóng, "Chiah-ê chiu-tiúⁿ ná m̄ pàng lâng kòe?" M̄-koh, chin chheng-chhó, i kah-ì chiu-tiúⁿ khà ê tiān-ōe, i mā kah-ì hit-ê chhan-thiaⁿ keng-lí kiâⁿ lâi goán ê toh-á kóng, "Goán chiâⁿ hoaⁿ-hí kìⁿ tio̍h lí, sensé." I tī Chiu-ji̍t cha̍p-chì ê hù-khan chhōe ka-tī ê siòng-phìⁿ, chhōe tio̍h ê sî, i tō kō͘ chi̍t-ê jiû-hô bâi-oàn ê kháu-khì kóng, "Lí khòaⁿ che, in ná ē kā seng-lí lâng pìⁿ-chò bêng-jîn ah?" M̄-koh, i bē chhēng kāng su se-chong khì nn̄g-ê oa̍h-tāng, in-ūi ū pò-chóa liap-iáⁿ-su. I ê chū-ngó͘ kng sih-sih, ná chhiūⁿ chi̍t-lia̍p kiû, îⁿ koh tōa, su-iàu put-sî kā chhit kim. I ē thè lâng chò tāi-chì. I hō͘ in chîⁿ, kā kài-siāu liân-lo̍k ê lâng, pang-chō͘ in chhin-chiâⁿ chhōe thâu-lō͘, tán kám-kek kap chàn-iông lâi ê sî -- i hō͘ góa khòaⁿ lâng kám-siā i ê sìn-sit; góa ē-kì-tit chi̍t-tiâu án-ne siá "Le̍k-sú ē hō͘ lí éng-oa̍h, kì lí chò chi̍t-ê úi-tāi ê lâng" -- i ê ba̍k-chiu siám-kng, góa chha-put-to ē-tàng thiaⁿ tio̍h i tek-ì ê hm̄ siaⁿ.

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2. 伊 ê 三支手機仔常在響

"你誠體貼," 我講, 帶一種掩崁傷害 ê 過度剾洗. 伊 tìm 頭, ká-ná 伊同意我 ê 講法. 我 kā 被單搝到下頦. 我著緊轉我蹛 tī Surulere ê 公寓, kā 伊 ê 號碼 ùi 我 ê 手機仔刣掉. M̄-koh, 我 koh 留落來. 我留 13 個月 koh 8 工, 大部份蹛伊 tī Victoria 島 ê 厝 -- 彼是一間退色 ê 白厝, 有安靜 ê 寬闊 koh 通風 ê 空間, 彼是起 tī 英國殖民統治 ê 時期, 徛 tī 一个滿是果子樹 ê 社區, 圍牆爬滿刺仔花 (bougainvillea). 伊 kă 講, 伊欲 chhōa 我去 in Lebanon 朋友 ê 賓館, tī 伊 teh 整修 Ikoyi ê 厝 ê 時, 伊 tō 是蹛 tī hia. 我伐落車 ê 時, 感覺 ná 像無意中傱入一个神秘 ê 花園. 向厝 ê 行道四周, 圍 kah 密密 ê 日春花, 有 ê 白, 有 ê 粉紅. Chia ê 空氣清新, 甚至有芳味, 規个予我想著更新. 伊 teh 看我; 我感覺會著, 伊是 gōa-nī 希望我佮意 chia.

"這是你 ê 厝, 敢毋是?" 我講. "這毋是屬 tī 你 ê Lebanon 朋友."

伊徙倚我, 著一驚. "請毋通誤會. 我本成欲 kā 你講, 我只是 boăi 你想講這不過是一種..." 伊停落來, 牽我 ê 手. "我知別个查埔 án-nóa 做, m̄-koh 我 kap in 無仝. 我袂 chhōa 查某來 chia. 我舊年買 chia, 欲 kā 敲掉通起一个公寓區, m̄-koh 看著伊 hiah 媠. 阮朋友講我保留這是 teh 痟. 你知影, tī 這个國家無人尊重舊 ê 物件. 現此時, 我大部份時間 tī chia 上班, 無 koh 去我 ê 辦公室."

阮徛 tī 玻璃挩門邊, 入去是露台, 鳳凰木 ê 枝椏牚 tī 露台頂. 謝落 ê 紅花 lak tī 籐椅頂. "我佮意坐 tī hia 看鳥仔," 伊 ná kí ná án-ne 講.

伊佮意鳥仔. 鳥仔對我來講, 原本 tō 是鳥仔 niā-niā, m̄-koh kap 伊做伙, 我變做無仝 ê 人: 我 mā 變做佮意鳥仔 ê 人. Koh 來彼个禮拜日早起, its 阮第一擺做伙 ê 週末, 阮 tī 安靜 ê 露台交換讀 Next 報紙 ê 無仝部份 ê 時, 伊攑頭 ǹg 天, 講, "Hia 有一隻客鳥 (magpie). In 佮意金 sih-sih ê 物." 我心 nih án-ne 想, kā 伊 ê 結婚手只囥 tī 籐桌仔頂面, 予彼鳥仔 chhèng 落來永遠 kā 扎走.

"我知你 kap 別人無仝!" 看我 teh 讀商業 kap 運動版 ê 新聞, 伊 án-ne 激動講, 意思 ká-ná 是我 ê 無仝反映著伊 ê 好品味. Choăn, 阮熱烈討論報紙, 討論 AIT 和 CNN ê 新聞報導,  發現濟濟接近 ê 觀點. 阮 m̄-bat 討論我 ê 蹛 ê 問題. Siuⁿ 晏駛車轉 Surulere 無安全, 伊干焦繼續講, "你那毋明仔載 kā 物件扎來 chia, án-ne 你 tō 會使 ùi chia 去上班?" 一直到我大部份 ê 衫攏囥 tī 衫仔櫥, 我 ê 保濕霜 mā 囥 tī 浴間 ê 窗仔台. 伊 kā 錢囥 tī 桌仔頂予我, 貯 tī 棕色 ê 批囊, 頂面寫 "予你加油用," 袂輸我著開 50,000 naira 買 gasolin. 有時伊問我著私底下換衫無, 袂輸伊 m̄-bat 看我 ê 露體濟濟改 ah.

阮無談論 in 某 a̍h 囡仔 a̍h 我 ê 私生活 a̍h tang 時我欲穩定落來, 免得伊擋著我 ê 路. 凡勢是 hiah-ê 阮無講 ê 代誌予我 teh 觀察伊. 伊 ê 皮膚烏 kah 我笑講伊是 ùi Gambia 來 ê; 我 kā 伊講, 假使伊是查某, 伊會揣無合彼个色調 ê 抹面粉. 我看伊小心拍開有芳味 ê 澹紙拭伊 ê 目鏡, a̍h tī 伊 ê 餐盤切雞肉, a̍h kā 毛巾縖 tī 腰, tī li-li liap-liap ê 肚臍下面拍結, 對一條普通毛巾來講, 彼个結有夠 lè-táu. 我 án-ne kā 記著, 因為我並無了解伊. 伊有禮貌, 伊 ê 生活順順序序, 伊 ê 手䘼鈕總是真有品味.

伊 ê 三支手機仔常在響; 我知是 in 某敲來, 因為伊會走去便所 a̍h 出去陽台; 我 mā 知是政府官員敲來, 因為事後伊會講, "Chiah-ê 州長那毋放人過?" M̄-koh, 真清楚, 伊佮意州長敲 ê 電話, 伊 mā 佮意彼个餐廳經理行來阮 ê 桌仔講, "阮誠歡喜見著你, sensé." 伊 tī 週日雜誌 ê 副刊揣 ka-tī ê 相片, 揣著 ê 時, 伊 tō kō͘ 一个柔和埋怨 ê 口氣講, "你看這, in 那會 kā 生理人 pìⁿ 做名人 ah?" M̄-koh, 伊袂穿仝軀西裝去兩个活動, 因為有報紙攝影師. 伊 ê 自我光 sih-sih, ná 像一粒球, 圓 koh 大, 需要不時 kā 拭金. 伊會替人做代誌. 伊予 in 錢, kā 介紹連絡 ê 人, 幫助 in 親 chiâⁿ 揣頭路, 等感激 kap 讚揚來 ê 時 -- 伊予我看人感謝伊 ê 信息; 我會記得一條 án-ne 寫 "歷史會予你永活, 記你做一个偉大 ê 人" -- 伊 ê 目睭閃光, 我差不多會當聽著伊得意 ê hm̄ 聲.

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2.

“You’re very thoughtful,” I said, with the kind of overdone mockery that masks damage. He nodded, as though he agreed with me. I pulled the covers up to my chin. I should have got dressed, gone back to my flat in Surulere, and deleted his number from my phone. But I stayed. I stayed for thirteen months and eight days, mostly in his house in Victoria Island—a faded-white house, with its quiet grandeur and airy spaces, which was built during British colonial rule and sat in a compound full of fruit trees, the enclosing wall wreathed in creeping bougainvillea. He had told me he was taking me to a Lebanese friend’s guesthouse, where he was staying while his home in Ikoyi was being refurbished. When I stepped out of the car, I felt as though I had stumbled into a secret garden. A dense mass of periwinkles, white and pink, bordered the walkway to the house. The air was clean here, even fragrant, and there was something about it all that made me think of renewal. He was watching me; I could sense how much he wanted me to like it.

“This is your house, isn’t it?” I said. “It doesn’t belong to your Lebanese friend.”

He moved closer to me, surprised. “Please don’t misunderstand. I was going to tell you. I just didn’t want you to think it was some kind of . . .” He paused and took my hand. “I know what other men do, and I am not like that. I don’t bring women here. I bought it last year to knock it down and build an apartment block, but it was so beautiful. My friends think I’m mad for keeping it. You know nobody respects old things in this country. I work from here most days now, instead of going to my office.”

We were standing by sliding glass doors that led to a veranda, over which a large flame tree spread its branches. Wilted red flowers had fallen on the cane chairs. “I like to sit there and watch birds,” he said, pointing.

He liked birds. Birds had always been just birds to me, but with him I became someone else: I became a person who liked birds. The following Sunday morning, on our first weekend together, as we passed sections of Next to each other in the quiet of that veranda, he looked up at the sky and said, “There’s a magpie. They like shiny things.” I imagined putting his wedding ring on the cane table so that the bird would swoop down and carry it away forever.

“I knew you were different!” he said, thrilled, when he noticed that I read the business and sports sections, as though my being different reflected his good taste. And so we talked eagerly about newspapers, and about the newscasts on AIT and CNN, marvelling at how similar our opinions were. We never discussed my staying. It was not safe to drive back to Surulere late, and he kept saying, “Why don’t you bring your things tomorrow so you can go to work from here?” until most of my clothes were in the wardrobe and my moisturizers were on the bathroom ledge. He left me money on the table, in brown envelopes on which he wrote “For your fuel,” as if I could possibly spend fifty thousand naira on petrol. Sometimes, he asked if I needed privacy to change, as if he had not seen me naked many times.

We did not talk about his wife or his children or my personal life or when I would want to settle down so that he could avoid standing in my way. Perhaps it was all the things we left unsaid that made me watch him. His skin was so dark that I teased him about being from Gambia; if he were a woman, I told him, he would never find a face powder that matched his tone. I watched as he carefully unwrapped scented moist tissues to clean his glasses, or cut the chicken on his plate, or tied his towel round his waist in a knot that seemed too elaborate for a mere towel, just below the embossed scar by his navel. I memorized him, because I did not know him. He was courtly, his life lived in well-oiled sequences, his cufflinks always tasteful.

His three cell phones rang often; I knew when it was his wife, because he would go to the toilet or out to the veranda, and I knew when it was a government official, because he would say afterward, “Why won’t these governors leave somebody alone?” But it was clear that he liked the governors’ calls, and the restaurant manager who came to our table to say, “We are so happy to see you, sah.” He searched the Sunday-magazine pullouts for pictures of himself, and when he found one he said in a mildly complaining tone, “Look at this, why should they turn businessmen into celebrities?” Yet he would not wear the same suit to two events because of the newspaper photographers. He had a glowing ego, like a globe, round and large and in constant need of polishing. He did things for people. He gave them money, introduced them to contacts, helped their relatives get jobs, and when the gratitude and praise came—he showed me text messages thanking him; I remember one that read “History will immortalize you as a great man”—his eyes would glaze over, and I could almost hear him purr.

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