6. Chit-ê tāi-chì, lán tio̍h kat chò-hóe
16-Hō hām 45-Hō ǹg i khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē. I kóng bē chhut yin ê piáu-chêng. Sī tī tông-chêng kap khòaⁿ-khin tiong-kan ê piáu-chêng. I m̄-chai hit-ê sû boeh án-nóa kóng, m̄-koh i chin chheng-chhó sī án-ne. He hām i kā mama kóng Sparse ê sî, mama ê piáu-chêng tō sī án-ne.
"Góa chai-iáⁿ liáu, góa chhiâng-chāi sái chhia keng-kòe lín chhù." Che sī 8-Hō. Yi khòaⁿ ka-tī chē tio̍h ê kha-thúi. "Góa bat siūⁿ boeh sái góa ê chhia ji̍p lí ê khùn-pâng."
"Góa bat siūⁿ tio̍h koh khah bái ê tāi-chì," 45-Hō kóng.
"Góa mā sī," 16-Hō kóng.
*
"Góa pó-chèng, góa pó-chèng," Rusty teh án-ne kóng. I khòaⁿ tio̍h in mama kā hun-sái tò ji̍p soda kóng-á nih. Yi kā i kóng, in ē lú lâi lú hó. In papa í-keng lī-khui. "Kòe-khì m̄-bat án-ne," yi kóng. "Góa mā kī-choa̍t koh kóng-khí chit-ê tāi-chì."
45-Hō khui-chhùi ah. "Góa bē-tit liáu-kái ê sī, lí ná it-ti̍t teh chài goán?"
Rusty kō͘ thâu ǹg kòe-tō tùi-bīn ê kàu-liān pí chi̍t-ē, kàu-liān iáu bô ì-sek. I bô khak-tēng yin sī-m̄-sī chai i ê ì-sù, it-tit kàu 8-Hō kóng, "Siūⁿ ē-kàu."
"Yin mama kā gín-á chhōa tī sin-piⁿ." DeDe teh chhit yi ê bīn. "Seⁿ-chò ná chhiūⁿ lí. Ba̍k-chiu chin sêng."
"Góa pó-chèng," Rusty koh kóng. "Góa pó-chèng, góa pó-chèng."
DeDe chhun-chhiú hiòng i, i kín-kín kiu hiòng āu. Yi put-kò sī khǹg chi̍t-tè chhit-kōaⁿ pò͘ kàu i ê phīⁿ. "Koai," yi kóng. "Lí koh teh lâu hoeh ah."
Hó͘-bó Tūi i-chiàu yin ê kè-ōe. Thiⁿ-khì chi̍t-ē chheng, its sit-sū liōng-iok nn̄g tiám-cheng liáu-āu, yin tō iân chiu-chè kong-lō͘ hiòng Thài-khong Tō kiâⁿ khì. Yin bô-lâng boeh lâu lo̍h-lâi pôe Rusty kap kàu-liān. 8-Hō kā Rusty kóng, in nn̄g-lâng tī chia bô hûi-hiám. Chóng-kóng, yin mama sī i-seng. Rusty kóng, i siūⁿ-kóng, yin mama sī hō͘-sū, 8-Hō kā ba̍k-chiu bî chi̍t-ē. "Chip-gia̍p hō͘-sū," yi kóng. I bô hoâi-gî ka-tī bô hûi-hiám, m̄-koh bô khak-tēng kàu-liān ê chōng-hóng. I ê hia̍h-thâu hit-lu khòaⁿ tio̍h iáu chin hāi. Tán chă gín-á cháu kah bô thiaⁿ-e siaⁿ ê sî, kàu-liān chiah chhéⁿ lâi, koh chông chhut-khì, thò͘ tī kau-á té.
Rusty tī bus thâu-chêng chhōe, khòaⁿ tio̍h Catwoman manga chheh chiⁿ tī iû-mn̂g ta̍h-á ē-bīn. I kā khòaⁿ liáu: O͘-thâu-mo͘ ê Selina Kyle lâi kàu Lâm Bí-chiu ê iá-seng chhiū-nâ, kō͘ yi it-koàn lâi-bô-iáⁿ khì-bô-jiah ê siang-kiàm tī hia taⁿ-kek chèng to̍k-thâu (drug lords). Kàu-liān í-keng chhēng hó polo-saⁿ, tú teh kā siang-kha chhēng New Balance kiû-ê, hit-sî Rusty ta̍h chhut bus.
Rusty siang-kha ē-bīn kám-kak kau-á té ê chháu chiùⁿ-chiùⁿ, múi ta̍h chi̍t-pō͘ lóng ū chiùⁿ siaⁿ.
"Góa siūⁿ in ē in-ūi che kā góa sî thâu-lō͘," kàu-liān kóng. I boeh kiâⁿ óa Rusty ê sî, phiân chi̍t-ē soah kūi lo̍h-lâi. I koh khiā khí-lâi ê sî, thô͘-kha hoat chhut koài siaⁿ. "Koh siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, góa siūⁿ góa ē-tàng ka-tī sî-tiāu."
Rusty peh khí kau-á hōaⁿ, khiā tī chiu-chè kong-lō͘ piⁿ. Ū kúi-ā tiâu ji̍t-kng chhng kòe thiⁿ-téng o͘-hûn chiò lo̍h-lâi. Chi̍t-kóa chiáu-á tī thiⁿ-téng se̍h-kho͘-á, tī hong-hō͘ kòe-liáu ê an-chēng nih khí kông. Lō͘ ê siang-thâu lóng bô chhia lâi. Delta tō sī chiah-nī bê-lâng: khang kah hō͘ lí siong-sìn i sī hiah tōa. I kā Catwoman kńg khí-lâi, chò tiàu-kiàⁿ khòaⁿ. Hó͘-bó Tūi tāi-khài tī pòaⁿ mai í-gōa, ná kiâⁿ ná hàiⁿ chah khì hông-sin ê battah. M̄-koh, Rusty chai-iáⁿ yin bē tú-tio̍h mâ-hoân. Yin khó-lêng ē hō͘ tī Thài-khong Tō kang-chok ê lâng sa-bô-cháng, DeDe tio̍h chhut-lâi kái-soeh. Seng kā Thài-khong Tō ê ka-iû-oân soeh-bêng, koh-lâi mā tio̍h kā chiap tiān-ōe hit-thâu, m̄-koán siáng, koh soat-bêng chi̍t-piàn. E-àm, tán Rusty lī-khui pēⁿ-īⁿ kàu chhù ê sî, i bē ùi sit-sū hit-tiám khai-sí kóng. I ē kóng khah kán-té: hit-ê gín-á. Sī án-nóa bô-lâng kă kóng? i boeh mn̄g in mama. I chhì siūⁿ yi ē án-nóa tap, m̄-koh siūⁿ bē-lâi.
"Rus?" Kàu-liān chóng-sǹg peh chhut kau-á, khiā tī i sin-piⁿ. "Lán tio̍h siūⁿ khòaⁿ boeh án-nóa kā in kóng. Lán boeh kā in kóng siáⁿ?"
Rusty kè-sio̍k khòaⁿ Hó͘-bó Tūi. Delta ū-kàu pêⁿ, i ē-tàng kú-kú khòaⁿ yin kiâⁿ hn̄g. I kā manga chheh pàng lo̍h, chhun-khui chhiú-pôaⁿ. Tō chhiūⁿ án-ne, i kā Hó͘-bó Tūi lia̍h tī chhiú tiong.
"Lí phah-pháiⁿ tāi-chì, m̄-koh góa tio̍h taⁿ chek-jīm, lí chai lah." Kàu-liān khioh khí manga chheh, kō͘ he phah Rusty ê kha-chhng-táu. "Chit-ê tāi-chì, lán ài chò pêng-iú. Kat chò-hóe. Lí chai góa ê ì-sù."
Chiām-chiām, Hó͘-bó Tūi lú lâi lú kiu. I hiō-hóe bô kì yin ê miâ. Hoān-sè iáu ū sî-kan. Tī ha̍k-hāu, a̍h sī tī tìn nih. M̄-koh i bô-hoat-tō͘ siūⁿ, í-āu yin kap i chhut-khì sńg ê chêng-hêng. Carrie-Anne. I chai hit-ê miâ. Achí, hmh, hit-ê miâ i mā chai. Kàu-liān kè-sio̍k it-ti̍t kóng, m̄-koh Rusty chi̍t-kù mā bô kā thiaⁿ. I boeh chiáng-ak Hó͘-bó Tūi, múi chi̍t-ê, chīn-liōng kú tī i ê chhiú-pôaⁿ nih, taⁿ yin lú lâi lú sè ah, lo̍h-bóe, yin lóng khòaⁿ bē-tio̍h ah.
(Soah)
- -
6. 這个代誌, 咱著結做伙
16 號和 45 號 ǹg 伊看一下. 伊講袂出姻 ê 表情. 是 tī 同情 kap 看輕中間 ê 表情. 伊毋知彼个詞欲按怎講, 毋過伊真清楚是 án-ne. He 和伊 kā mama 講 Sparse ê 時, mama ê 表情就是 án-ne.
"我知影了, 我常在駛車經過恁厝." 這是 8 號. 她看家治坐著 ê 跤腿. "我 bat 想欲駛我 ê 車入你 ê 睏房."
"我 bat 想著 koh 較䆀 ê 代誌," 45 號講.
"我 mā 是," 16 號講.
*
"我保證, 我保證," Rusty teh án-ne 講. 伊看著 in mama kā 薰屎倒入 soda 管仔 nih. 她 kā 伊講, in 會 lú 來 lú 好. In papa 已經離開. "過去 m̄-bat án-ne," 她講. "我 mā 拒絕 koh 講起這个代誌."
45 號開喙 ah. "我袂得了解 ê 是, 你那一直 teh 載阮?"
Rusty kō͘ 頭 ǹg 過道對面 ê 教練比一下, 教練猶無意識. 伊無確定姻是毋是知伊 ê 意思, 一直到 8 號講, "想會到."
"姻 mama kā 囡仔 chhōa tī 身邊." DeDe teh 拭她 ê 面. "生做 ná 像你. 目睭真成."
"我保證," Rusty koh 講. "我保證, 我保證."
DeDe 伸手向伊, 伊緊緊勼向後. 她不過是囥一塊拭汗布到伊 ê 鼻. "乖," 她講. "你 koh teh 流血 ah."
虎母隊依照姻 ê 計畫. 天氣一下清, its 失事量約兩點鐘了後, 姻 tō 沿州際公路向太空道行去. 姻無人欲留落來陪 Rusty kap 教練. 8 號 kā Rusty 講, in 兩人 tī chia 無危險. 總講, 姻 mama 是醫生. Rusty 講, 伊想講, 姻 mama 是護士, 8 號 kā 目睭咪一下. "執業護士," 她講. 伊無懷疑家治無危險, 毋過無確定教練 ê 狀況. 伊 ê 額頭彼 lu 看著猶真害. 等 chă 囡仔走 kah 無聽 e 聲 ê 時, 教練才醒來, koh 傱出去, 吐 tī 溝仔底.
Rusty tī bus 頭前揣, 看著 Catwoman manga 冊櫼 tī 油門踏仔下面. 伊 kā 看了: 烏頭毛 ê Selina Kyle 來到南美洲 ê 野生樹林, kō͘ 她一貫來無影去無跡 ê 雙劍 tī hia 打擊眾毒頭 (drug lords). 教練已經穿好 polo 衫, 拄 teh kā 雙跤穿 New Balance 球鞋, 彼時 Rusty 踏出 bus.
Rusty 雙跤下面感覺溝仔底 ê 草醬醬, 每踏一步攏有醬聲.
"我想 in 會因為這 kā 我辭頭路," 教練講. 伊欲行倚 Rusty ê 時, 蹁一下煞跪落來. 伊 koh 徛起來 ê 時, 塗跤發出怪聲. "Koh 想看覓, 我想我會當家治辭掉."
Rusty peh 起溝仔岸, 徛 tī 州際公路邊. 有幾若條日光穿過天頂烏雲照落來. 一寡鳥仔 tī 天頂踅箍仔, tī 風雨過了 ê 安靜 nih 起狂. 路 ê 雙頭攏無車來. Delta 就是 chiah-nī 迷人: 空 kah 予你相信伊是 hiah 大. 伊 kā Catwoman 捲起來, 做召鏡看. 虎母隊大概 tī 半 mai 以外, ná 行 ná 幌扎去防身 ê battah. 毋過, Rusty 知影姻袂拄著麻煩. 姻可能會予 tī 太空道工作 ê 人捎無總, DeDe 著出來解說. 先 kā 太空道 ê 加油員說明, 閣來 mā 著 kā 接電話彼頭, 毋管 siáng, koh 說明一遍. 下暗, 等 Rusty 離開病院到厝 ê 時, 伊袂 ùi 失事彼點開始講. 伊會講較簡短: 彼个囡仔. 是按怎無人 kă 講? 伊欲問 in mama. 伊試想她會按怎答, 毋過想袂來.
"Rus?" 教練總算 peh 出溝仔, 徛 tī 伊身邊. "咱著想看欲按怎 kā in 講. 咱欲 kā in 講啥?"
Rusty 繼續看虎母隊. Delta 有夠平, 伊會當久久看姻行遠. 伊 kā manga 冊放落, 伸開手盤. Tō 像 án-ne, 伊 kā 虎母隊掠 tī 手中.
"你拍歹代誌, 毋過我著擔責任, 你知 lah." 教練抾起 manga 冊, kō͘ 彼拍 Rusty ê 尻川斗. "這个代誌, 咱愛做朋友. 結做伙. 你知我 ê 意思."
漸漸, 虎母隊 lú 來 lú 勼. 伊後悔無記姻 ê 名. 凡勢猶有時間. Tī 學校, a̍h 是 tī 鎮 nih. 毋過伊無法度想, 以後姻 kap 伊出去耍 ê 情形. Carrie-Anne. 伊知彼个名. Achí, hmh, 彼个名伊 mā 知. 教練繼續一直講, 毋過 Rusty 一句 mā 無 kā 聽. 伊欲掌握虎母隊, 每一个, 盡量久 tī 伊 ê 手盤 nih, 今姻 lú 來 lú 細 ah, 落尾, 姻攏看袂著 ah.
(煞)
- -
6.
Numbers 16 and 45 glanced his way. He couldn’t make out their expressions. Something between pity and contempt. He didn’t have the word for it, but he knew it well. It was the same look his mother gave him when he told her about Sparse.
“I used to drive by y’all’s house after I found out.” This was Number 8. She looked at her lap. “I used to think about driving my car into his bedroom.”
“I used to think worse,” said Number 45.
“Me too,” said Number 16.
*
“I promise, I promise,” Rusty was saying. He saw his mom dipping ashes in the soda can. She was telling him they’d be better off. With his dad gone. “It never happened,” she’d said. “And I refuse to speak on it anymore.”
Number 45 spoke up. “What I can’t understand is why you kept driving us?”
Rusty nodded to the coach across the aisle, still unconscious. He wasn’t sure if they understood what he meant until Number 8 said, “Figures.”
“Her mom had the baby with her.” DeDe was wiping her face. “Looks like you too. Same eyes.”
“I promise,” Rusty said again. “I promise, I promise.”
DeDe reached toward him, and he violently jerked back. She was only placing a sweat rag against his nose. “Here,” she said. “You’re bleeding again.”
The Lady Tigers stuck to their plan. As soon as the weather cleared, some two hours after the wreck, they were trailing down the interstate toward the Space-Way. None of them wanted to stay behind with Rusty and the coach. Number 8 assured him they were both out of danger. Her mom was a doctor after all. When Rusty said he thought she was a nurse, Number 8 squinted. “Nurse practitioner,” she said. He doubted very much that he was ever in danger, but the coach was a question mark. His knot still looked nasty. He came to when the girls were out of earshot and stumbled outside to puke in the ditch.
Rusty searched the front of the bus until he found the Catwoman comic wedged under the gas pedal. He looked it over: The raven-haired Selina Kyle had found herself in the jungles of South America, fighting drug lords with her usual mix of stealth, sass, and double-jointedness. The coach had put on his polo and was shoving his feet into his New Balances when Rusty stepped off the bus.
The weedy ditch felt soggy beneath Rusty’s feet, a loud sucking sound with each step.
“I think they may try to fire me over this,” the coach said. He stumbled to his knees when he tried to walk over to Rusty. The ground made more ugly noises as he straightened back up. “Second thought, I think I may just quit.”
Rusty climbed the small bank and stood on the edge of the interstate. Bits of sunlight burned through the remaining overcast. Birds wheeled around in the big sky, crazed by the stillness left after the storm. Not a single car coming in either direction. That was the Delta for you: so empty it could convince you it was big. He rolled up the Catwoman and peered through it. The Lady Tigers were about half a mile away, toting their bats in case of trouble. But Rusty knew there wouldn’t be any. They would probably confuse the hell out of whoever was working the Space-Way until DeDe explained everything. First to the Space-Way attendant, then to whomever she got on the pay phone. When Rusty got home tonight after being checked out by the hospital, he wouldn’t begin with the wreck. He would cut to the quick: the baby. Why didn’t anybody tell me? he would ask his mom. He tried imagining her answer, but none came.
“Rus?” The coach had managed to make it up the ditch somehow and stood beside him. “We got to think about what we’re gonna tell them. What we’re going to say.”
Rusty kept looking at the Lady Tigers. The Delta was flat enough that he could watch them walking away for a long time. He dropped the comic and stretched out his palm. Like this, in forced perspective, he held the Lady Tigers in his hand.
“You wrecked us, but my ass is the one on the line, you see.” The coach picked up the comic and swatted at Rusty’s hip. “We need to be friends on this. Stick together. You know what I mean?”
Little by little, the Lady Tigers shrank. He regretted not learning all their names. Maybe there was still time. At school, around town. But he couldn’t exactly picture them hanging out with him after this. Carrie-Anne. He knew that name. Sister. Well, he knew that one too. The coach kept on talking, and Rusty didn’t listen to a word of it. He wanted to hold the team, all of them, in his palm for as long as he could, as they continued to get smaller and smaller until, at last, they were no more.
- -
//
From SWEET AND LOW by Nick White, published by Blue Rider Press, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC. Originally published in Triangle House Review. Copyright © 2018 by Nick White.
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