T. Áu-chóa Tōng-bu̍t-á | 拗紙動物仔 - 1. Pa ùi 目錄揀著 Ma

Paper Menagerie /by Ken Liu
https://gizmodo.com/read-ken-lius-amazing-story-that-swept-the-hugo-nebula-5958919

Áu-chóa Tōng-bu̍t-á | 拗紙動物仔

- -

1. Pa ùi bo̍k-lo̍k kéng tio̍h Ma

Góa siōng chá ê chi̍t-ê kì-tî sī teh chheh-khùi. Bô-lūn Ma kap Pa án-nóa chhì, góa lóng m̄ chiap-siū in ê an-tah.

Pa bô khoh chhap, lī-khui khùn-pâng, m̄-koh Ma chhōa góa kàu chàu-kha, hō͘ góa chē tī chá-tǹg ê toh-á.

"Kan, kan," yi ná kóng, ná ùi peng-siuⁿ téng-bīn khiú chi̍t-tiuⁿ pau-chong chóa. Kúi-nî lâi, Ma hó-lé-á lio-khui Kitok-Seⁿ (Christmas) lé-mi̍h ê pau-chong chóa, kā in siu tī peng-siuⁿ téng-bīn, kāu-kāu chi̍t-tha̍h. 

Yi kā chóa khǹg lo̍h, té-bīn chò téng-koân, khai-sí kā chih. Góa bô koh khàu, lia̍h yi khòaⁿ, teh hòⁿ-kî.

Yi kā chóa péng kòe-lâi, koh kā áu. Yi áu, chih, that, kńg, koh chūn, it-ti̍t kàu chóa tī yi sio-khap ê siang-chhiú tiong-kan bô--khì. Jiân-āu yi kā áu hó ê chóa-pau the̍h kàu chhùi, kā pûn-hong, ná chhiūⁿ pûn ke-kui-á án-ne.

"Kan," yi kóng. "Laohu." Yi kā siang-chhiú khǹg tī toh-á téng, kā he pàng lo̍h.

Chi̍t-ê sè-sè ê chóa hó͘ khiā tī toh-á téng, nn̄g-ê kûn-thâu-bó kap-chò-hóe hiah tōa. Hó͘-phôe sī pau-chong chóa tô͘-iūⁿ, pe̍h-sek ê pōe-kéng phòe âng-sek koái-á thn̂g hām le̍k-sek Kitok-Seⁿ chhiū.

Góa chhun-chhiú ǹg Ma ê chhòng-chok. I ê bóe tiuh chi̍t-ē, tō hèng chhih-chhih lâi chông góa ê chéng-thâu-á. "Rawrr-sa," i háu-kiò, he siaⁿ sī tī niau siaⁿ kap pò-chóa sa-sa siaⁿ tiong-kan.

Góa chhiò ah, kiaⁿ chi̍t-tiô, kō͘ kí-cháiⁿ bong i ê kha-chiah-phiaⁿ. Chóa hó͘ tī góa ê chéng-thâu-á ē chùn-tāng, hm̄-hm̄ kiò.

"Zhe jiao zhezhi," Ma kóng. Che kiò-chò origami.

Hit-sî góa iáu m̄-chai che, m̄-koh Ma ê hit-chióng chin te̍k-pia̍t. Yi kā in pûn khùi, hō͘ in chhoán kap yi kāng-khoán ê khùi, choăn kō͘ yi ê sèⁿ-miā tín-tāng. Che sī yi ê mô͘-hoat.

#

Pa sī ùi chi̍t-ê bo̍k-lo̍k kéng tio̍h Ma.

Ū chi̍t-kái, góa tī ko-tiong, góa mn̄g Pa sè-chiat. I siūⁿ boeh kiò góa koh kap Ma kóng-ōe.

Tī 1973 nî chhun-thiⁿ, i pò-miâ chham-ka kài-siāu ho̍k-bū. I ûn-ûn-á hian ia̍h, múi-ia̍h iōng bô kúi bió-cheng, it-ti̍t kàu i khòaⁿ tio̍h Ma ê siòng-phìⁿ hit-ia̍h.

Góa m̄-bat khòaⁿ-kòe chit-tiuⁿ siòng. Pa án-ne kóng: Ma chē tī í-á, thán-khi-sin tùi kiàⁿ-thâu, chhēng chi̍t-niá ha̍h-su ê le̍k-sek tn̂g-saⁿ. Yi oa̍t-thâu hiòng kiàⁿ-thâu, tn̂g-tn̂g ê o͘-thâu-mo͘ súi-súi sûi tī heng-chêng hām keng-thâu. Yi kō͘ koai gín-á ê ba̍k-chiu kim-kim khòaⁿ i. 

"He sī góa khòaⁿ ê bo̍k-lo̍k ê siōng-bóe ia̍h," i kóng.

Bo̍k-lo̍k kóng yi 18-hòe, ài thiàu-bú, Eng-gí bē-bái, in-ūi yi sī ùi Hong Kong lâi ê. Chiah-ê chu-liāu bô chi̍t-hāng sī chin ê.

I siá-phe hō͘ yi, kong-si lâi-lâi khì-khì thoân in ê sìn-sit. Lo̍h-bóe, i poe khì Hong Kong kìⁿ yi.

"Yi ê hôe-phe it-tit sī kong-si ê lâng thè yi siá ê. Tî-liáu ‘hello’ hām ‘good-bye’ í-gōa, yi kin-pún bē-hiáu Eng-gí."

Siáⁿ-khoán cha-bó͘ ē kā ka-tī khǹg tī bo̍k-lo̍k hō͘ lâng bé? Ko-tiong ê góa siūⁿ-kóng góa ta̍k-hāng chai. Biáu-sī ê kám-kak chin hó, ná chhiūⁿ chiú.

I bô chông-ji̍p pān-kong-sek thó chîⁿ tńg-lâi, i hù-chîⁿ hō͘ hotel ho̍k-bū-oân thè in chò hoan-e̍k.

"Góa kóng-ōe ê sî, yi khòaⁿ góa, ba̍k-sîn pòaⁿ kiaⁿ pòaⁿ kî-thāi. Thiaⁿ ho̍k-bū-oân hoan-e̍k góa ê ōe ê sî, yi khai-sí bî-bî-á chhiò."

I poe tńg Connecticut, khai-sí sin-chhéng hō͘ yi lâi ê bûn-kiāⁿ, chi̍t-nî liáu-āu, góa chhut-sì, he sī Hó͘-nî.

- -

1. Pa ùi 目錄揀著 Ma

我上早 ê 一个記持是 teh chheh 氣. 無論 Ma kap Pa 按怎試, 我攏毋接受 in ê 安搭.

Pa 無 khoh chhap, 離開睏房, 毋過 Ma chhōa 我到灶跤, 予我坐 tī 早頓 ê 桌仔.

"Kan, kan," 她 ná 講, ná ùi 冰箱頂面搝一張包裝紙. 幾年來, Ma 好禮仔 lio 開基督生 (Chritmas) 禮物 ê 包裝紙, kā in 收 tī 冰箱頂面, 厚厚一疊. 

她 kā 紙囥落, 底面做頂懸, 開始 kā 摺. 我無 koh 哭, 掠她看, teh 好奇.

她 kā 紙 péng 過來, koh kā 拗. 她拗, 摺, 窒, 捲, koh 捘, 一直到紙 tī 她相 khap ê 雙手中間無去. 然後她 kā 拗好 ê 紙包提到喙, kā 歕風, ná 像歕雞胿仔 án-ne.

"Kan," 她講. "Laohu." 她 kā 雙手囥 tī 桌仔頂, kā 彼放落.

一个細細 ê 紙虎徛 tī 桌仔頂, 兩个拳頭母敆做伙 hiah 大. 虎皮是包裝紙圖樣, 白色 ê 背景配紅色枴仔糖和綠色基督生樹.

我伸手 ǹg Ma ê 創作. 伊 ê 尾搐一下, tō  興 chhih-chhih 來傱我 ê 指頭仔. "Rawrr-sa," 伊吼叫, 彼聲是 tī 貓聲 kap 報紙 sa-sa 聲中間.

我笑 ah, 驚一趒, kō͘ kí-cháiⁿ 摸伊 ê 尻脊骿. 紙虎 tī 我 ê 指頭仔下顫動, hm̄-hm̄ 叫.

"Zhe jiao zhezhi," Ma 講. 這叫做 origami.

彼時我猶毋知這, 毋過 Ma ê 彼種真特別. 她 kā in 歕氣, 予 in 喘 kap 她仝款 ê 氣, choăn kō͘ 她 ê 性命振動. 這是她 ê 魔法.

#

Pa 是 ùi 一个目錄揀著 Ma.

有一改, 我 tī 高中, 我問 Pa 細節. 伊想欲叫我 koh kap Ma 講話.

Tī 1973 年春天, 伊報名參加介紹服務. 伊勻勻仔掀頁, 每頁用無幾秒鐘, 一直到伊看著 Ma ê 相片彼頁.

我 m̄-bat 看過這張相. Pa án-ne 講: Ma 坐 tī 椅仔, 坦敧身對鏡頭, 穿一領合軀 ê 綠色長衫. 她越頭向鏡頭, 長長 ê 烏頭毛媠媠垂 tī 胸前和肩頭. 她 kō͘ 乖囡仔 ê 目睭金金看伊. 

"彼是我看 ê 目錄 ê 上尾頁," 伊講.

目錄講她 18 歲, 愛跳舞, 英語袂䆀, 因為她是 ùi Hong Kong 來 ê. Chiah-ê 資料無一項是真 ê.

伊寫批予她, 公司來來去去傳 in ê 信息. 落尾, 伊飛去 Hong Kong 見她.

"她 ê 回批一直是公司 ê 人替她寫 ê. 除了 ‘hello’ 和 ‘good-bye’ 以外, 她根本袂曉英語."

啥款查某會 kā 家治囥 tī 目錄予人買? 高中 ê 我想講我逐項知. 藐視 ê 感覺真好, ná 像酒.

伊無傱入辦公室討錢轉來, 伊付錢予 hotel 服務員替 in 做翻譯.

"我講話 ê 時, 她看我, 目神半驚半期待. 聽服務員翻譯我 ê 話 ê 時, 她開始微微仔笑."

伊飛轉 Connecticut, 開始申請予她來 ê 文件, 一年了後, 我出世, 彼是虎年.

- -

1.

One of my earliest memories starts with me sobbing. I refused to be soothed no matter what Mom and Dad tried.

Dad gave up and left the bedroom, but Mom took me into the kitchen and sat me down at the breakfast table.

"Kan, kan," she said, as she pulled a sheet of wrapping paper from on top of the fridge. For years, Mom carefully sliced open the wrappings around Christmas gifts and saved them on top of the fridge in a thick stack.

She set the paper down, plain side facing up, and began to fold it. I stopped crying and watched her, curious.

She turned the paper over and folded it again. She pleated, packed, tucked, rolled, and twisted until the paper disappeared between her cupped hands. Then she lifted the folded-up paper packet to her mouth and blew into it, like a balloon.

"Kan," she said. "Laohu." She put her hands down on the table and let go.

A little paper tiger stood on the table, the size of two fists placed together. The skin of the tiger was the pattern on the wrapping paper, white background with red candy canes and green Christmas trees.

I reached out to Mom's creation. Its tail twitched, and it pounced playfully at my finger. "Rawrr-sa," it growled, the sound somewhere between a cat and rustling newspapers.

I laughed, startled, and stroked its back with an index finger. The paper tiger vibrated under my finger, purring.

"Zhe jiao zhezhi," Mom said. This is called origami.

I didn't know this at the time, but Mom's kind was special. She breathed into them so that they shared her breath, and thus moved with her life. This was her magic.

#

Dad had picked Mom out of a catalog.

One time, when I was in high school, I asked Dad about the details. He was trying to get me to speak to Mom again.

He had signed up for the introduction service back in the spring of 1973. Flipping through the pages steadily, he had spent no more than a few seconds on each page until he saw the picture of Mom.

I've never seen this picture. Dad described it: Mom was sitting in a chair, her side to the camera, wearing a tight green silk cheongsam. Her head was turned to the camera so that her long black hair was draped artfully over her chest and shoulder. She looked out at him with the eyes of a calm child.

"That was the last page of the catalog I saw," he said.

The catalog said she was eighteen, loved to dance, and spoke good English because she was from Hong Kong. None of these facts turned out to be true.

He wrote to her, and the company passed their messages back and forth. Finally, he flew to Hong Kong to meet her.

"The people at the company had been writing her responses. She didn't know any English other than 'hello' and 'goodbye.'"

What kind of woman puts herself into a catalog so that she can be bought? The high school me thought I knew so much about everything. Contempt felt good, like wine.

Instead of storming into the office to demand his money back, he paid a waitress at the hotel restaurant to translate for them.

"She would look at me, her eyes halfway between scared and hopeful, while I spoke. And when the girl began translating what I said, she'd start to smile slowly."

He flew back to Connecticut and began to apply for the papers for her to come to him. I was born a year later, in the Year of the Tiger.

- -