2. Yi ē-hiáu ūi lâng siau-tî pi-siong
I chhiâng-chāi kóng, "In lâi chia bô in ka-tī ê kok-ka, siūⁿ boeh chiap-siu it-chhè, koh m̄ chò jīm-hô kòng-hiàn."
Án-ne kóng m̄-sī oân-choân chèng-khak.
Tī tōa-chúi thun-chia̍h Eng-kok saⁿ-ê tó ê sî, in chhun-chhiú hiòng Biafra, chit-ê pang-chō͘ ê chhéng-kiû tit-tio̍h hôe-èng. In chè-tēng tiâu-khoán, chhiam kong-pêⁿ kau-ōaⁿ ho̍k-bū ê hia̍p-gī. M̄-koh in chhun chi̍t-chhiú chhut-lâi chhéng-kiû pang-chō͘ ê sî, iáu chi̍t-chhiú lāng chi̍t-ki to. Chi̍t-ē lâi kàu chia, Eng-kok lâng kian-chhî ài ū in ka-tī ê thó͘-tē, hām in ka-tī ê chèng-hú. Tī Eng-kok ui-hia̍p sú-iōng seng-bu̍t bú-khì ê tang-tiong, ta̍t-sêng liáu chi̍t-ê thò-hia̍p, sêng-li̍p liáu Biafra-Britannia Liân-pang. Kong-ke thó͘-tē, kong-ke chèng-hú, kong-ke oàn-hūn. Tāi-chì hoat-seng hit-sî, yin lāu-pē iáu sī gín-á, m̄-koh i kian-sim chi-chhî Biafra to̍k-li̍p ê siūⁿ-hoat, i ê pē-bú tō sī ūi chit-ê siūⁿ-hoat tī 2030 nî-tāi lâi hi-seng. I pēng bô ko͘-toaⁿ, m̄-koh tōa pō͘-hūn lâng lóng chai-thang kā put-ho̍k khǹg tī sim-lāi, iû-kî in nā ū chi̍t-ê Sò͘-ha̍k-ka chă-kiáⁿ, chit-chióng chit-gia̍p ū i ka-tī ê mâ-hoân. Chit-chióng hō͘-siong iú-lī ê liân-pang, pí Franse tùi Senegal só͘ chò, hām Bí-kok tùi Meksiko só͘ chò, sǹg sī ū khah hó.
Amadi ná sái-chhia, ná kō͘ āu-kiàⁿ chù-ì yi, siūⁿ boeh chhōe chi̍t-ê ki-hōe khui-chhùi, thang kóng liâm-mi kám boeh sūn-lō͘ khì yin lāu-pē hia, khì chi̍t-ē-á tō hó, kan-ta phah chi̍t-ē chio-ho͘. Nneoma phiah-bián ba̍k-chiu kap i sio-khòaⁿ. Yi bē-tàng khì khòaⁿ yin lāu-pē, bē-tàng phah chio-ho͘, kin-á-ji̍t bē-tàng, í-āu mā bē-tàng.
Chhia lâi kàu Shoprite siong-tiàm, Nneoma thiàu chhut-lâi. Yi ê pak-tó͘ iau kah ku-ku kiò, yi ê chhài-nâ té ê kóe-chí khah chē kòe chia̍h chi̍t lé-pài ê gia̍h, koh chhah-tūi bé pháng, hō͘ pâi-tūi ê kò͘-kheh khì kah kā-gê. Kūi-tâi ê lâng jīn chhut yi, sûi the̍h yi koàn-sì bé ê pháng kap chhè-phôe bagét, che ē hō͘ yi chia̍h kah sim nih pháiⁿ-sè. Franse lâng bô ti̍t-chiap tit tio̍h chîⁿ, m̄-koh yi iáu-sī kám-kak, bé bagét sī teh chàn-chō͘ Franse lâng ê lí-liām. Hia ê lâng lia̍h yi kim-kim khòaⁿ, siūⁿ kóng che sī siáng ah (gōa-kau koaⁿ? Pō͘-tiúⁿ hu-jîn?); yi bô chhap, iân tiàm ê piⁿ-á kiâⁿ, se̍h hiòng kiat-siàu ê kūi-tâi.
Hit-sî, yi chù-ì tio̍h i.
Nneoma pàng bān kha-pō͘, the̍h khí chi̍t-a̍p sé-saⁿ-hún, ké-sian teh tha̍k soat-bêng, thang kō͘ ba̍k-kak tui-chong i. I chhēng-chhah tāi-toān, bē kòe-hūn. I gāng-gāng khòaⁿ yi, m̄-chai ná ē hō͘ yi bê tio̍h. Nneoma kám-kak tio̍h ùi i lâu chhut ê pi-siong, yi chai-iáⁿ, yi nā chi̍p-tiong chù-ì-le̍k, tō ē-tàng khòaⁿ tio̍h i ê pi-siong, chheng-chhó kah ná-chhiūⁿ chi̍t-ki chhâ-chhoaⁿ. Yi ē-sái khòaⁿ-kìⁿ pi-siong ê kin-goân, i ê kiat-kò͘, í-ki̍p he kò͘-tēng tī i sin-khu ê hong-sek. Yi mā ē-tàng kā he siau-tî.
Che sī tī yi 14-hòe ê sî, tī sò͘-ha̍k khò khai-sí ê. Yi it-hiòng sò͘-ha̍k chin hó, m̄-koh m̄-bat siūⁿ boeh chiâⁿ-chò Sò͘-ha̍k-ka. Bô-lâng án-ne chò. He m̄-sī lí ē soán-te̍k a̍h kî-bōng khì chò ê chit-gia̍p; lí boeh chò a̍h m̄-chò lóng ē-sái. Hit-kang, lāu-su hō͘ in khòaⁿ chi̍t-kōaⁿ tn̂g-tn̂g ê Furcal ê Kong-sek, he sī ná-chhiūⁿ bé chi̍t-kōaⁿ pēⁿ-to̍k án-ne ùi Tiong-sim bé lâi ê. Tùi tōa pō͘-hūn kî-thaⁿ ê ha̍k-seng, he sī chi̍t-kōaⁿ bô hoat-tō͘ lí-kái ê sò͘-jī kap hû-hō, m̄-koh tùi Nneoma he tō ná chhiūⁿ jī-bó hiah kán-tan. Khòaⁿ tio̍h hit-ê Kong-sek phah-khui yi sim-siōng ê chi̍t-ê só, chū hit-sî khai-sí, yi tō ē-tàng khòaⁿ chhut chi̍t-ê lâng ê pi-siong, tō ná-chhiūⁿ khòaⁿ tio̍h i chhēng ê saⁿ hiah-nī chheng-chhó.
Tiong-sim thè yi kiáu yi í-āu ê ha̍k-hùi, mā thè yi hêng yin tau khiàm lâng ê chi̍t-kóa chè-bū, koh bé hō͘ yin chi̍t-keng sin chhù. In hùn-liān yi bôa-liān ka-tī ê châi-chêng, m̄-nā ē-tàng khòaⁿ chhut lâng ê pi-siong, koh tio̍h ē-hiáu ūi lâng siau-tî pi-siong. Yi í-keng án-ne chò chin kú ah, sīm-chì ē-tàng ūi siōng kò͘-chip ê hoān-chiá kóaⁿ-cháu siōng bân-phôe ê chhòng-siong. Jiân-āu, yin lāu-bú sí khì.
Tiàm nih hit-ê cha-po͘-lâng khiā tī hia khòaⁿ yi, Nneoma thàn i teh gāng ê sî kiâⁿ khui. Pi-siong ê lâng chhiâng-chāi hō͘ yi khip-ín tio̍h, che sī chi̍t-chióng chù-ì bē-tio̍h ê khip-ín-le̍k. Án-ne hō͘ yi an-ún ê seng-oa̍h hēng-hok koh pit-iàu. Tiong-sim chin lí-kái, mā pang-chān chhiam-iok ê Sò͘-ha̍k-ka thai-soán in ê kheh-hō͘. Bô-lâng ē pī-pek chò i bô kah-ì chò ê tāi-chì. Nneoma ê kheh-hō͘ chha-put-to kan-ta sī sit-khì gín-á ê pē-bú, in sī hó-gia̍h hu-chhe, m̄-bat siūⁿ kòe sí-bông ē chhōe tio̍h in, it-ti̍t kàu tāi-chì hoat-seng. Tī Tiong-sim hām chèng-hú ha̍p-chok, lâi hia̍p-chō͘ kan-khó͘-lâng ê sî, chit-ê khang-khòe sī chì-goān-sèng ê, tōa pō͘-hūn Sò͘-ha̍k-ka tō múi lé-pài kòng-hiàn kúi tiám-cheng. Bô chhiūⁿ Kioni án-ne choân-sî-kan hoa̍t-lo̍h hiah-ê lâng, mā bô chhiūⁿ Nneoma án-ne oân-choân bô teh hoa̍t-lo̍h in. Mama Kioni, Nneoma bat án-ne kā chheng-ho͘, khí-chho͘ chhin hò͘-hò͘, āu-lâi tāi-chì piàn bái ê sî, tō piàn kah chin pháiⁿ siaⁿ-sàu. Se-chong pih-chah phôe-ê hó ê hit-ê lâng ū ha̍h yi só͘ kah-ì ê kheh-hō͘, bī-lâi i ū khó-lêng chiâⁿ-chò yi ê kheh-hō͘, m̄-koh m̄-sī kin-á-ji̍t, m̄-sī chhiūⁿ taⁿ án-ne.
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2. 她會曉為人消除悲傷
伊常在講, "In 來遮無 in 家己 ê 國家, 想欲接收一切, koh 毋做任何貢獻."
Án-ne 講毋是完全正確.
Tī 大水吞食英國三个島 ê 時, in 伸手向 Biafra, 這个幫助 ê 請求得著回應. In 制定條款, 簽公平交換服務 ê 協議. 毋過 in 伸一手出來請求幫助 ê 時, 猶一手弄一支刀. 一下來到遮, 英國人堅持愛有 in 家己 ê 土地, 和 in 家己 ê 政府. Tī 英國威脅使用生物武器 ê 當中, 達成了一个妥協, 成立了 Biafra-Britannia 聯邦. 公家土地, 公家政府, 公家怨恨. 代誌發生彼時, 姻老爸猶是囡仔, 毋過伊堅心支持 Biafra 獨立 ê 想法, 伊 ê 爸母就是為這个想法 tī 2030 年代來犧牲. 伊並無孤單, 毋過大部份人攏知通 kā 不服囥 tī 心內, 尤其 in 若有一个數學家 chă 囝, 這種職業有伊家己 ê 麻煩. 這種互相有利 ê 聯邦, 比 Franse 對 Senegal 所做, 和美國對 Meksiko 所做, 算是有較好.
Amadi ná 駛車, ná kō͘ 後鏡注意她, 想欲揣一个機會開喙, 通講 liâm-mi 敢欲順路去姻老爸遐, 去一下仔就好, 干焦拍一下招呼. Nneoma 避免目睭 kap 伊相看. 她袂當去看姻老爸, 袂當拍招呼, 今仔日袂當, 以後 mā 袂當.
車來到 Shoprite 商店, Nneoma 跳出來. 她 ê 腹肚枵甲 ku-ku 叫, 她 ê 菜籃貯 ê 果子較濟過食一禮拜 ê 額, koh 插隊買 pháng, 予排隊 ê 顧客氣甲咬牙. 櫃台 ê 人認出她, 隨提她慣勢買 ê pháng kap 脆皮 bagét, 這會予她食甲心 nih 歹勢. Franse 人無直接得著錢, 毋過她猶是感覺, 買 bagét 是 teh 贊助 Franse 人 ê 理念. 遐 ê 人掠她金金看, 想講這是 siáng ah (外交官? 部長夫人?); 她無 chhap, 沿店 ê 邊仔行, 踅向結數 ê 櫃台.
彼時, 她注意著伊.
Nneoma 放慢跤步, 提起一盒洗衫粉, 假仙 teh 讀說明, 通 kō͘ 目角追蹤伊. 伊穿插大段, 袂過份. 伊愣愣看她, 毋知那會予她迷著. Nneoma 感覺著 ùi 伊流出 ê 悲傷, 她知影, 她若集中注意力, 就會當看著伊 ê 悲傷, 清楚甲若像一支柴 chhoaⁿ. 她會使看見悲傷 ê 根源, 伊 ê 結構, 以及彼固定 tī 伊身軀 ê 方式. 她 mā 會當 kā 彼消除.
這是 tī 她 14 歲 ê 時, tī 數學課開始 ê. 她一向數學真好, 毋過毋捌想欲成做數學家. 無人 án-ne 做. 彼毋是你會選擇 a̍h 期望去做 ê 職業; 你欲做 a̍h 毋做攏會使. 彼工, 老師予 in 看一捾長長 ê Furcal ê 公式, 彼是若像買一捾病毒 án-ne ùi 中心買來 ê. 對大部份其他 ê 學生, 彼是一捾無法度理解 ê 數字 kap 符號, 毋過對 Nneoma 彼就若像字母 hiah 簡單. 看著彼个公式拍開她心上 ê 一个鎖, 自彼時開始, 她就會當看出一个人 ê 悲傷, 就若像看著伊穿 ê 衫 hiah-nī 清楚.
中心替她繳她以後 ê 學費, mā 替她還姻兜欠人 ê 一寡債務, koh 買予姻一間新厝. In 訓練她磨練家己 ê 才情, 毋但會當看出人 ê 悲傷, koh 著會曉為人消除悲傷. 她已經 án-ne 做真久 ah, 甚至會當為上固執 ê 患者趕走上蠻皮 ê 創傷. 然後, 姻老母死去.
店 nih 彼个查埔人徛 tī 遐看她, Nneoma 趁伊 teh 愣 ê 時行開. 悲傷 ê 人常在予她吸引著, 這是一種注意袂著 ê 吸引力. Án-ne 予她安穩 ê 生活幸福 koh 必要. 中心真理解, mā 幫贊簽約 ê 數學家篩選 in ê 客戶. 無人會被迫做伊無佮意做 ê 代誌. Nneoma ê 客戶差不多干焦是失去囡仔 ê 爸母, in 是好額夫妻, 毋捌想過死亡會揣著 in, 一直到代誌發生. Tī 中心和政府合作, 來協助艱苦人 ê 時, 這个工課是志願性 ê, 大部份數學家就每禮拜貢獻幾點鐘. 無像 Kioni án-ne 全時間發落 hiah-ê 人, mā 無像 Nneoma án-ne 完全無 teh 發落 in. Mama Kioni, Nneoma 捌 án-ne kā 稱呼, 起初親戽戽, 後來代誌變䆀 ê 時, 就變甲真歹聲嗽. 西裝撆紮皮鞋好 ê 彼个人有合她所佮意 ê 客戶, 未來伊有可能成做她 ê 客戶, 毋過毋是今仔日, 毋是像今 án-ne.
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2.
“They come here with no country of their own and try to take over everything and don’t contribute anything,” he’d often said.
That wasn’t entirely true.
When the floods started swallowing the British Isles, they’d reached out to Biafra, a plea for help that was answered. Terms were drawn, equitable exchanges of services contracted. But while one hand reached out for help, the other wielded a knife. Once here, the Britons had insisted on their own lands and their own separate government. A compromise, aided by the British threat to deploy biological weapons, resulted in the Biafra-Britannia Alliance. Shared lands, shared governments, shared grievances. Her father had only been a boy when it happened, but held bitterly to the idea of Biafran independence, an independence his parents had died for in the late 2030s. He wasn’t alone, but most people knew to keep their disagreements to themselves, especially if their daughter was a Mathematician, a profession that came with its own set of troubles. And better a mutually beneficial, if unwanted, alliance than what the French had done in Senegal, the Americans in Mexico.
As Amadi drove, he kept the rearview mirror partially trained on her, looking for an opening to start a chat that would no doubt lead to him saying that maybe they could swing by her father’s place later, just for a moment, just to say hello. Nneoma avoided eye contact. She couldn’t see her father, not for a quick hello, not today, not ever.
They pulled up to Shoprite and Nneoma hopped out. Her stomach grumbled and she loaded more fruit in her basket than she could eat in a week and cut the bread queue to the chagrin of the waiting customers. The man at the counter recognized her and handed over the usual selection of rolls and the crusty baguette she would eat with a twinge of guilt. The French didn’t get money directly, but she still couldn’t stop feeling as if she funded the idea of them. Ignoring the people staring at her, wondering who she might be (a diplomat? a Minister’s girlfriend?), she walked the edges of the store, looping towards the checkout lane.
Then she felt him.
Nneoma slowed and picked up a small box of detergent, feigning interest in the instructions to track him from the corner of her eye. He was well-dressed, but not overly so. He looked at her confused, not sure why he was so drawn to her. Nneoma could feel the sadness rolling off him and she knew if she focused she’d be able to see his grief, clear as a splinter. She would see the source of it, its architecture, and the way it anchored to him. And she would be able to remove it.
It started when she was fourteen, in math class. She’d always been good at it, but had no designs on being a Mathematician. No one did. It wasn’t a profession you chose or aspired to; you could either do it or you couldn’t. That day, the teacher had showed them a long string of Furcal’s Formula, purchased from the Center like a strain of a virus. To most of the other students, it was an impenetrable series of numbers and symbols, but to Nneoma it was as simple as the alphabet. Seeing the Formula unlocked something in her and from then on she could see a person’s sadness as plainly as the clothes he wore.
The Center paid for the rest of her schooling, paid off the little debt her family had and bought them a new house. They trained her to hone her talents and go beyond merely seeing a person’s grief till she knew how to remove it as well. She’d been doing it for so long she could exorcise the deepest of traumas for even the most resistant of patients. Then her mother died.
The man in the store stood there looking at her and Nneoma used his confusion to walk away. The grieving were often drawn to her, an inadvertent magnetic thing. It made her sheltered life blessed and necessary. The Center was very understanding and helped contracted Mathematicians screen their clients. No one was ever forced to do anything they didn’t want to. Nneoma worked almost exclusively with parents who’d lost a child, wealthy couples who’d thought death couldn’t touch them, till it did. When the Center partnered with governments to work with their distressed populations, the job was voluntary and most Mathematicians donated a few hours a week. Unlike Kioni, who worked with those people full time, and unlike Nneoma, who didn’t work with them at all. Mother Kioni, Nneoma had called her, first with affection, then with increasing malice when it all turned ugly. The man in the tidy suit and good shoes was along the lines of her preferred clientele and he could very well become a client of hers in the future, but not today, not like this.
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