X. Ū-lâng ùi Thiⁿ-téng Poa̍h-lo̍h Ē Án-nóa | 有人 ùi 天頂跋落會按怎 - 1. 她是計算悲傷 ê 數學家

What It Means When a Man Falls From the Sky /by Lesley Nneka Arimah
https://catapult.co/stories/some-mathematicians-remove-pain-some-of-us-deal-in-negative-emotions-we-all-fix-the-equation-of-a-person

Ū-lâng ùi Thiⁿ-téng Poa̍h-lo̍h Ē Án-nóa | 有人 ùi 天頂跋落會按怎

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1. Yi sī kè-sǹg pi-siong ê sò͘-ha̍k-ka

Án-ne tō ē ū 24 tiám-cheng ê sin-bûn pò-tō. Án-ne tō ē ū chèng-kheh kín chò sún-hāi khòng-chè; ū oa̍h-tāng hūn-chú siàn-tōng lâng khòng-gī. Án-ne tō piáu-sī Francisco Furcal ê cha-bó͘ sun tio̍h tī kì-chiá-hōe ūi yin ka-cho̍k ê ûi-sán piān-hō͘.

"Goán a-kong ê kong-sek bô m̄-tio̍h. Sò͘-ha̍k sī kò͘-tēng koh choa̍t-tùi. Jīm-hô chhut-hiān ê būn-tê, sī sǹg m̄-tio̍h khì ê lâng ê chhò-gō͘."

Lú-sū ah, che m̄-sī hó-pō͘. Án-ne ē hō͘ lâng-lâng chū-ngó͘ pó-hō͘, the̍h-chhut in ê sêng-chek-toaⁿ hām khó-chhì hun-sò͘ hām it-chhè ē-tàng chèng-bêng in ê thian-châi ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Nneoma chhì teh siūⁿ, poaⁿ-chhù liáu, yi ê bûn-kiāⁿ khǹg tī tó-ūi, che hō͘ yi siūⁿ khí yi só͘ lâu-lo̍h ê lâng.

Thōng-hó mài mō͘ chit-ê hiám. Siōng-hó ê tian-tò sī chi̍p-tiong chù-ì tī pó-choân lo̍k-iáⁿ-ki hip-tio̍h ê chùn-tāng ê iáⁿ-siōng téng-bīn. Chit-ê iû tōng-chok khé-tāng ê ke-si ū lo̍k-tio̍h hit-lâng poa̍h-lo̍h ê chòe-āu 50 chhioh, siang-chhiú ia̍t kah ná hong-chhia ê kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ, kap i siak lo̍h tē ê sin-khu. Sin-bûn ê pò͘-sâng sûi thiàu khì hoat-hiān hui-hêng hong-thêng-sek ê hiah-ê Sò͘-ha̍k-ka. In tú tio̍h kì-chiá, tī party nih, tī chiap gín-á ê ko-kip o͘-thâu-á chhia nih, tī tō͘-ká tang-tiong, hông gán tio̍h tōa pō͘-hūn koan-chiòng só͘ chheⁿ-hūn ê chhia-hoa, koan-chiòng tiāⁿ-tio̍h kám-kak sim-sek, m̄-koán sī in gāi-gio̍h ê piáu-chêng, a̍h sī ùi in he chia̍h pá-pá, m̄-chai siáⁿ sī phòe-kip ê chhùi só͘ chòaⁿ chhut-lâi ê piān-hō͘ giân-lūn. 

Kan-ta khián-chek Sò͘-ha̍k-ka, tian-tò bô khián-chek "Kong-sek," Martina Furcal hām "Tiong-sim" chhòng-chō chi̍t-ê tōa kńg-lê-á hong, sàu khì hiah-ê só͘-ūi bē-poa̍h-tó ê kho-ha̍k-ka hia, án-ne lâi pó-hō͘ tio̍h yin ka-cho̍k ê ûi-sán. Mā kò͘-tiâu ka-cho̍k ê chîⁿ. Hoān-sè che kin-pún m̄-sī chi̍t-ê pháiⁿ-pō͘.

Nneoma chhiat-ōaⁿ pîn-tō thiàu leh khòaⁿ, koh chù-ì thiaⁿ. Jû-kó iú-koan Furcal ê Kong-sek khai-sí pang-khiah ê iâu-giân tit-tio̍h khip-ín, án-ne tō chóng-ē sìm-thàu kàu 2,400 ê chhin-chhiūⁿ yi chit-khoán ê Sò͘-ha̍k-ka, chiah-ê tī choân-kiû hoān-ûi, khò kè-sǹg hām siau-tî chêng-sū thàn-chia̍h ê lâng ê khang-khòe, sī ùi oa̍h-lâng khip chêng-sū, tō ná chhiūⁿ ùi khang-chhùi khip to̍k-sò͘ án-ne. 

Yi sī choan-bûn kè-sǹg pi-siong ê 57-ūi chù-chheh sò͘-ha̍k-ka chi it, pí kū-nî ê 59-ūi khah chió. Australia lâng Alvin Claspell, thiaⁿ-kóng i seng khí-siáu, boeh chia̍h ka-tī, āu-lâi chū-sat ah. Chit-chióng thâu-lō͘ m̄-sī thong-lâng ē. iū-koh, Kioni Mutahi bô-tāi-bô-chì sit-chong, hō͘ New Kenya kan-ta chhun chi̍t-ê kè-sǹg pi-siong ê choan-ka.

Nneoma taⁿ tòa ê Biafra-Britannia Liân-pang ū 6-ūi pi-siong choan-ka, tī chit-ê pi-siong chi̍p-tiong ê só͘-chāi ū siōng-chē ê pi-siong choan-ka. Sī ah, mā sī ū-chîⁿ-lâng siōng chi̍p-tiong ê só͘-chāi.

Kāng-khoán ê kiàⁿ-thâu chi̍t-pái koh chi̍t-pái. Nneoma kā tiān-sī koaiⁿ-tiāu. Tio̍h tán kàu hiah-ê hui-hêng-chiá kak-chhéⁿ koh chek-pī poa̍h-lo̍h ê lâng sī in-ūi kè-sǹg chhò-gō͘, chit-chióng hàm-kó͘-tāi chiah ū khó-lêng kiat-sok. "Kha-chhng khàm ba̍t, m̄-thang ké gâu," Pak-Bí-chiu ū chit-chióng kóng-hoat, m̄-koh taⁿ ê Pak-Bí í-keng bô siáⁿ lâng thang án-ne kóng ah.

Chhiú-ki-á chhut-hiān ū chi̍t-tiâu té-sìn, Nneoma kip-kip kā chhi̍h lâi khòaⁿ, jiân-āu pháiⁿ-sè ka-tī sī teh kip siáⁿ, jiân-āu koh-khah pháiⁿ-sè, in-ūi he m̄-nā kap Kioni bô koan-hē, put-kò sī yi ê chō͘-chhiú thê-chhéⁿ yi, bîn-á-chài tī ha̍k-hāu ū chi̍t-tiûⁿ ián-káng. Yi kā té-sìn thâi tiāu -- tong-jiân yi ē-kì-tit -- iū-koh kám-kak àu-náu. Yi iū-koh siūⁿ khí, tio̍h hìⁿ-sak chit-ê siàu-liân cha-bó͘. M̄-koh, ū sî-chūn lí su-iàu ū chō͘-chhiú, chhin-chhiūⁿ kóng, lín lú-pêng-iú kō͘ tong-chho͘ iû yi chú-tōng hām lí kau-pôe kāng-khoán hó-lé koh léng-tām ê thài-tō͘ hām lí kiat-sok koan-hē, hō͘ lí tio̍h tī chi̍t lé-pài nih chéng-lí koh poaⁿ-sóa saⁿ-nî ê pùn-sò. Chit-sî, chō͘-chhiú tō chin hó iōng. M̄-koh he sī 8 lé-pài í-chêng ê tāi-chì, Nneoma í-keng hó-sè ah. Chin ê, yi bô tāi-chì ah.

Yi siu hó bûn-kiāⁿ, chhi̍h lêng-á kiò chhia, chhia sûi tō lâi kàu po-lê mn̂g chêng. Amadi chiah-nī chún-sî, chóng-sī án-ne, sīm-chì tī yi iáu-sī gín-á ê sî tō án-ne. Yin lāu-bú bat kā kóng, yi ē-tàng tī lo̍h lâu-thui ê sî kiò Amadi, tán yi khui-mn̂g, i ē í-keng tī hia tán. Mama í-keng bô tī leh, lāu-pē kui-ê pháiⁿ khì, m̄-bat koh lī-khui chhù. Amadi it-ti̍t thiaⁿ Lāu-pē ê chhe-sái, tán yi ùi New Kenya tńg-lâi, lāu-pē kā i sàng hō͘ yi, ná-chhiūⁿ sàng chi̍t-nâ ko-kip chhiz án-ne. Yi chiap-siū chit-ê su-ki, chiàu yi tùi lāu-pē ê liáu-kái, che sī chi̍t-ê hô-pêng ê hiàn-lé. Sui-bóng in ê koan-hē éng-oán bē koh kāng-khoán, m̄-koh yi iáu-sī múi keh chi̍t lé-pài tō tī lé-pài-ji̍t khà tiān-ōe hō͘ lāu-pē.

Yi hoan-hù Amadi seng khì siong-tiàm. Chhia sūn Enugu khoan-khoah ê ke-lō͘ sái, keng-kòe chi̍t-ê hāu-tiâⁿ, móa-móa sī lâu-kōaⁿ ê pe̍h chhang-chhang ê gín-á. M̄-sī Nneoma tùi Eng-kok lâng ū siáⁿ ì-kiàn, sī in-ūi yi siū tio̍h lāu-pē ê éng-hióng. Lāu-pē siōng giâm-lē ê sî, kiò in lān-bîn, m̄-sī kok-bīn, i tī pêng-iú-kài tiong-kan chá tō bô siū hoan-gêng.

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1. 她是計算悲傷 ê 數學家

Án-ne 就會有 24 點鐘 ê 新聞報導. Án-ne 就會有政客緊做損害控制; 有活動份子煽動人抗議. Án-ne 就表示 Francisco Furcal ê 查某孫著 tī 記者會為姻家族 ê 遺產辯護.

"阮阿公 ê 公式無毋著. 數學是固定 koh 絕對. 任何出現 ê 問題, 是算毋著去 ê 人 ê 錯誤."

女士 ah, 這毋是好步. Án-ne 會予人人自我保護, 提出 in ê 成績單和考試分數和一切會當證明 in ê 天才 ê 物件. Nneoma 試 teh 想, 搬厝了, 她 ê 文件囥 tī 佗位, 這予她想起她所留落 ê 人.

Thōng 好莫冒這个險. 上好 ê 顛倒是集中注意 tī 保全錄影機翕著 ê 顫動 ê 影像頂面. 這个由動作啟動 ê 家私有錄著彼人跋落 ê 最後 50 尺, 雙手擛 kah ná 風車 ê 驚惶, kap 伊摔落地 ê 身軀. 新聞 ê 播送隨跳去發現飛行方程式 ê hiah-ê 數學家. In 拄著記者, tī party nih, tī 接囡仔 ê 高級烏頭仔車 nih, tī 渡假當中, hông 眼著大部份觀眾所生份 ê 奢華, 觀眾定著感覺心適, 毋管是 in 礙虐 ê 表情, 抑是 ùi in he 食飽飽, 毋知啥是配給 ê 喙所 chòaⁿ 出來 ê 辯護言論. 

干焦譴責數學家, 顛倒無譴責 "公式," Martina Furcal 和 "中心" 創造一个大捲螺仔風, 掃去 hiah-ê 所謂袂跋倒 ê 科學家遐, án-ne 來保護著姻家族 ê 遺產. Mā 顧牢家族 ê 錢. 凡勢這根本毋是一个歹步.

Nneoma 切換頻道跳 leh 看, koh 注意聽. 如果有關 Furcal ê 公式開始崩隙 ê 謠言得著吸引, án-ne 就總會滲透到 2,400 个親像她這款 ê 數學家, chiah-ê tī 全球範圍, 靠計算和消除情緒趁食 ê 人 ê 工課, 是 ùi 活人吸情緒, 就若像 ùi 空喙吸毒素 án-ne. 

她是專門計算悲傷 ê 57 位註冊數學家之一, 比舊年 ê 59 位較少. Australia 人 Alvin Claspell, 聽講伊先起痟, 欲食家己, 後來自殺 ah. 這種頭路毋是通人會. 又閣, Kioni Mutahi 無代無誌失蹤, 予 New Kenya 干焦賰一个計算悲傷 ê 專家.

Nneoma 今蹛 ê Biafra-Britannia 聯邦有 6 位悲傷專家, tī 這个悲傷集中 ê 所在有上濟 ê 悲傷專家. 是 ah, mā 是有錢人上集中 ê 所在.

仝款 ê 鏡頭一擺 koh 一擺. Nneoma kā 電視關掉. 著等到 hiah-ê 飛行者覺醒 koh 責備跋落 ê 人是因為計算錯誤, 這種譀古代才有可能結束. "尻川崁密, 毋通假 gâu," 北美洲有這種講法, 毋過今 ê 北美已經無啥人通 án-ne 講 ah.

手機仔出現有一條短信, Nneoma 急急 kā 揤來看, 然後歹勢家己是 teh 急啥, 然後閣較歹勢, 因為彼毋但 kap Kioni 無關係, 不過是她 ê 助手提醒她, 明仔載 tī 學校有一場演講. 她 kā 短信刣掉 -- 當然她會記得 -- 又閣感覺懊惱. 她又閣想起, 著挕捒這个少年查某. 毋過, 有時陣你需要有助手, 親像講, 恁女朋友 kō͘ 當初由她主動和你交陪仝款好禮 koh 冷淡 ê 態度和你結束關係, 予你著 tī 一禮拜 nih 整理 koh 搬徙三年 ê 糞埽. 這時, 助手就真好用. 毋過彼是 8 禮拜以前 ê 代誌, Nneoma 已經好勢 ah. 真 ê, 她無代誌 ah.

她收好文件, 揤鈴仔叫車, 車隨就來到玻璃門前. Amadi chiah-nī 準時, 總是 án-ne, 甚至 tī 她猶是囡仔 ê 時就 án-ne. 姻老母 bat kā 講, 她會當 tī 落樓梯 ê 時叫 Amadi, 等她開門, 伊會已經 tī 遐等. Mama 已經無 tī leh, 老爸規个歹去, 毋捌 koh 離開厝. Amadi 一直聽老爸 ê 差使, 等她 ùi New Kenya 轉來, 老爸 kā 伊送予她, 若像送一籃高級 chhiz án-ne. 她接受這个司機, 照她對老爸 ê 了解, 這是一个和平 ê 獻禮. 雖罔 in ê 關係永遠袂 koh 仝款, 毋過她猶是每隔一禮拜就 tī 禮拜日敲電話予老爸.

她吩咐 Amadi 先去商店. 車順 Enugu 寬闊 ê 街路駛, 經過一个校埕, 滿滿是流汗 ê 白蔥蔥 ê 囡仔. 毋是 Nneoma 對英國人有啥意見, 是因為她受著老爸 ê 影響. 老爸上嚴厲 ê 時, 叫 in 難民, 毋是國民, 伊 tī 朋友界中間早就無受歡迎.

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1.

It means twenty-four hour news coverage. It means politicians doing damage control; activists egging on protests. It means Francisco Furcal’s granddaughter at a press conference defending her family legacy. 

“My grandfather's formula is sound. Math is constant and absolute. Any problems that arise are the fault of those who miscalculate it.”

Bad move, lady. This could only put everyone on the defensive, trotting out their transcripts and test results and every other thing that proved their genius. Nneoma tried to think of where she’d put her own documents after the move, but that led to thinking of where she’d moved from,  which led to thinking of whom she left behind.

Best not to venture there. Best instead to concentrate on the shaky footage captured by a security camera. The motion-activated device had caught the last fifty feet of the man’s fall, the windmill panic of flailing arms, the spread of his body on the ground. The newscast then jumped to the Mathematicians who had discovered the equation for flight. They were being ambushed at parties, while picking up their children in their sleek black cars, on their vacations, giving a glimpse of luxury that was foreign to the majority of the viewing public, who must have enjoyed the embarrassed faces and defensive outbursts from well-fed mouths that knew nothing of rations. 

By blaming the Mathematicians instead of the Formula, Martina Furcal and The Center created a maelstrom around these supposedly infallible scientists and protected her family's legacy. And their money. Maybe not such a bad move after all. 

Nneoma flipped through the channels, listening closely. If the rumor that Furcal’s Formula was beginning to unravel around the edges gained any traction, it would eventually trickle down to the 2,400 Mathematicians like her who worked the globe and made their living calculating and subtracting emotions, drawing them from living bodies like poison from a wound. 

She was one of the fifty-seven registered Mathematicians who specialized in calculating grief, down from the fifty-nine of last year. Alvin Claspell, the Australian, had committed suicide after, if the stories were to be believed, going mad and trying to eat himself. This work wasn't for everyone. And of course Kioni Mutahi had simply disappeared, leaving New Kenya with only one grief worker. 

There were six grief workers in the Biafra-Britannia Alliance, where Nneoma now lived, the largest concentration of grief workers in any province to serve the largest concentration of the grieving. Well, the largest concentration that could pay.

It was the same footage over and over. Nneoma offed the unit. The brouhaha would last only as long as the flight guys took to wise up and blame the fallen man for miscalculating. “Cover your ass,” as the North American saying went, though there wasn’t much of that continent left to speak it. 

A message dinged on the phone console and Nneoma hurried to press it, eager, then embarrassed at her eagerness, then further embarrassed when it wasn’t even Kioni, just her assistant reminding her of the lecture she was to give at the school. She deleted it—of course she remembered—and became annoyed. She thought, again, of getting rid of the young woman. But sometimes you needed an assistant, such as when your girlfriend ends your relationship with the same polite coolness that she initiated it, leaving you to pack and relocate three years’ worth of shit in one week. Assistants came in handy then. But that was eight weeks ago and Nneoma was over it. Really, she was.

She gathered her papers and rang the car, which pulled up to the glass doors almost immediately. Amadi was timely like that, always been, even when she was a child. Her mother used to say that she could call Amadi on her way down the stairs and open the door to find him waiting. Mama was gone now and her father, who’d become undone, never left the house. Amadi had run Father’s errands until Nneoma moved back from New Kenya, when her father had gifted him to her, like a basket of fine cheese. She’d accepted the driver as what she knew he was, a peace offering. And though it would never be the same between them, she called her father every other Sunday.

She directed Amadi to go to the store first. They drove through the wide streets of Enugu and passed a playground full of sweaty egg-white children. It wasn’t that Nneoma had a problem with the Britons per se, but some of her father had rubbed off on her. At his harshest Father would call them refugees rather than allies and he’d long been unwelcome in polite company. 

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