Barney /by Will Stanton
https://xpressenglish.com/our-stories/barney/
Barney
Tâi-gí gí-im | 台語語音: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRF9TZU3cXE
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8 goe̍h 30.
Taⁿ kan-ta goán nn̄g-ê tī chit-ê tó, Barney hām góa. Keng-kòe chiah chē nî, tio̍h kā Tayloe sî-tiāu, he tùi góa mā sī chi̍t-ê táⁿ-kek, m̄-koh góa bô án-ne chò bē-iōng-tit. Sió-sió ê phò-hāi hêng-ûi góa ē-sái goân-liōng, m̄-koh i chhut-chū ok-ì boeh thāu Barney, che sī teh chó͘-gāi kho-ha̍k ê chìn-pō͘. Chit-tiám góa bē-tàng goân-liōng.
Góa kan-ta ē-tàng siong-sìn hit-ê khì-tô͘ sī tī chiú-cheng ê éng-hióng hā chò ê, chò kah siuⁿ pūn-tūn. To̍k-io̍h koàn hian tó, io̍h-hún chi̍t-lō͘ sōe kàu Barney ê pôaⁿ-á. Tayloe ê piān-hō͘ ū-kàu loán-jio̍k. I m̄-jīn. Iáu ū siáng ah?
9 goe̍h chhe 2.
Góa tùi Tayloe sū-kiāⁿ ê khòaⁿ-hoat taⁿ khah pêng-chēng ah. Chia ê tan-tiāu seng-oa̍h tùi i lâi kóng tiāⁿ-tio̍h chin kan-lân. Án-ne í-gōa, i koh tio̍h hòng-khì i pó-sioh ê pe̍h niáu-chhí (guinea pigs). I kian-chhî kàu chòe-āu, kóng in pí Barney koh-khah sek-ha̍p góa ê si̍t-giām. Góa siūⁿ, khióng-kiaⁿ sī in-ūi in khah sek-ha̍p i ê pō͘-tiāu. I sī chi̍t-ê jīn-chin ê lâng, khéng chò, m̄-koh mā sī chi̍t-ê pūn-tūn, khó-liân ê lâng.
Chiong-kî-bóe, góa ū oân-choân ê chū-iû chip-hêng góa ê khang-khòe, m̄-bián bīn-tùi Tayloe ê bô-siaⁿ chí-chek. Góa kan-ta ē-tàng kā i tùi Barney ê kek-lia̍t te̍k-ì kui-in tī ba̍k-chhiah. M̄-koh, taⁿ i í-keng lī-khui, Barney khòaⁿ khí-lâi ke gōa-nī hoaⁿ-hí! Góa í-keng chún i tī chit só͘-chāi sì-kè khì, koan-chhat i he sin-kīn kak-chhéⁿ ê Tì-lêng hòⁿ-kî-sim chhōa i lin-long se̍h, che sī gōa-nī chhù-bī ê tāi-chì ah. Kan-ta keng-kòe nn̄g lé-pài ê gutamic sng ê chhú-tì, i í-keng tùi góa ê chheh-pâng ū hèng-chhù, ùi chheh-kè thoa chheh chhut-lâi, chi̍t-ia̍h chi̍t-ia̍h hian. Góa khak-tēng i chai, hit lāi-bīn ū tì-sek thang tit-tio̍h, jû-kó i ū hit-ki só-sî.
9 goe̍h chhe 8.
Kòe-khì nn̄g-kang góa tio̍h kā Barney koaiⁿ khí-lâi, iá i chiok thó-ià án-ne. Góa khióng-kiaⁿ, tī góa ê si̍t-giām oân-sêng liáu-āu, góa tio̍h kā Barney siau-bia̍t. Thiaⁿ khí-lâi hoān-sè chin hàm-kó͘, m̄-koh iáu-sī ū khó-lêng, i ē-hiáu kā i ê tì-lêng thoân hō͘ i ê tông-lūi. M̄-koán ki-hōe gōa sè, chit-ê hong-hiám bē-tàng hut-sī. Ka-chài, tī tē-hā-sek, ū chi̍t-ê hông-chí hāi-thâng ê pó-hiám-kūi, kō͘ che mā tú-hó ē-tàng koaiⁿ Barney.
9 goe̍h chhe 9.
Hián-jiân góa sī kóng liáu siūⁿ chá. Kin-á chá-khí, tī khai-sí sin chi̍t-lûn ê chhì-giām chìn-chêng, góa seng pàng i chhut-khì sió-khóa hui chi̍t-ē. Seng kā pâng-keng kín-sok sûn chi̍t-ē liáu-āu, i koh tńg-khì i ê lông-á, thiàu khí-khì mn̂g-pèⁿ, kō͘ i ê chhùi-khí thiu hit-ki só-sî, tī góa iáu bē-hù kā chó͘-tòng chìn-chêng, i í-keng thiàu thang-á chhut-khì. Tán góa jiok chhut-khì kàu chêng-tiâⁿ, àm-tiong khòaⁿ tio̍h i peh chiūⁿ chéⁿ tûn, iá góa kàu hit-ūi ê sî, kan-ta ē-hù thiaⁿ tio̍h só-sî lak loeh ē-bīn ê phùn-chúi siaⁿ.
Góa sêng-jīn, ka-tī mā kám-kak kiàn-siàu. He sī ûi-it ê só-sî. Mn̂g só tio̍h. Pó-hiám-kūi lāi-bīn pa̍t-ê keh-á ū chi̍t-kóa tiōng-iàu ê bûn-kiāⁿ. Ka-chài, sui-bóng chéⁿ chhim chhiau-kòe 40 chhioh, ē-té kan-ta ū kúi chhioh chhim ê chúi, só͘-í lo̍h-khì khioh só-sî bô siáⁿ-mih chò bē-kàu ê chiòng-gāi. M̄-koh, góa mā tio̍h sêng-jīn, Barney í-keng iâⁿ tē-it hôe-ha̍p.
9 goe̍h chhe 10.
Góa ū chi̍t-kái tōa kiaⁿ-kî ê keng-giām, mā hām Barney koh hoat-seng chi̍t-kái ê sió kēng-cheng. Góa tit-tio̍h tē-jī miâ. Tī chit-ê sū-kiāⁿ, góa tio̍h sêng-jīn i ê eng-hiông kak-sek, jî-chhiáⁿ sīm-chì khó-lêng sī i kiù góa ê miā.
Ūi tio̍h hong-piān lo̍h chéⁿ, góa kō͘ chi̍t-tiâu sì-hun-saⁿ inch chho͘ ê soh-á, múi chi̍t chhioh phah chi̍t-ê kat, hó-thang chò chi̍t-ê kán-tan ê thui. Góa chin sūn-lī tō lo̍h kàu chéⁿ té, m̄-koh khai-sí so chhōe só-sî bô kúi hun-cheng, góa ê chhiú-tiān tō bô tiān ah, góa hiòng téng-bīn peh khí-lâi. Koh kúi-chhioh tō kàu téng-bīn ê sî, góa thiaⁿ tio̍h Barney it-ti̍t kia̍k-kia̍k kiò, tán góa ta̍h tio̍h thô͘-kha ê sî, góa hoat-hiān he soh-á chha-put-to boeh oân-choân liah tn̄g ah. Hián-jiân, he sī in-ūi soh-á lè tio̍h chio̍h-thâu piⁿ, iá hit-ê sió pêng-iú, tī kám-siū tio̍h góa ê khùn-kéng ê sî, chiah ē piàⁿ-miā teh kéng-kò góa.
Góa í-keng ōaⁿ hó-sè hit-chat soh-á, koh tī ē-bīn thiap chi̍t-kóa kū môa-pò͘, bián-tit koh hoat-seng ì-gōa. Góa í-keng kā chhiú-tiān tiān-tî koàn pá-pá, taⁿ í-keng chún-pī hó-sè chòe-āu chi̍t-kái lo̍h-khì. Chit-chūn chit kúi hun-cheng, góa sī teh hioh-khùn, hō͘ ka-tī chi̍t-ê hioh-chhoán ê sî-kan, koh kā ji̍t-kì pó͘ kàu siōng-sin. Hoān-sè góa mā tio̍h ūi ka-tī khoán chi̍t-ê sandwich, in-ūi tī ē-bīn góa khó-lêng su-iàu pí gán-chêng khòaⁿ ê khah kú ê sî-kan.
9 goe̍h 11.
Khó-lân ê Barney í-kenq sí ah, chin kín qóa mā ē kānq-khoán. I sī chi̍t-chah láu-put-khí ê náu-chhí, bô i tī-teh, senq-oa̍h chin bô chhù-bī. Nā ū lânq ta̍k to̍h che, chháⁿ lín m̄-tanq lâi chit-ê tó káu-jáu jīm-hô tāi-chì, hō͘ i pó-chhî qoân-iūⁿ, kā tònq-chò sī Barney ê kì-lām-tē, iû-kî sī hit-ê chéⁿ. M̄-bán khì chhōe qóa ê sí-té, in-ūi qóa boeh táu hái. Lín ē-tànq chah kúi-chah sió náu-chhí lâi, lâu in hō͘ Barney chò oa̍h ê kì-lām-phín. Ài bó ê, bô-ài kang ê. Qóa ê chhiú láu to̍h, che sī án-chóaⁿ qóa sá-jī bē hó-sè. Che sī qóa chòe-āu ê sim-qoān. Chàu qóa kóng ê khì chò, tán lín chàu qóa kóng án-ne chah sió náu-chhí lâi láu-āu, m̄-thang koh tńg-lâi a̍h chò jīm-hô káu-jáu. Kan-ta ài bó ê.
Chài-hōe
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8 月 30.
今干焦阮兩个 tī 這个島, Barney 和我. 經過 chiah 濟年, 著 kā Tayloe 辭掉, 彼對我 mā 是一个打擊, 毋過我無 án-ne 做袂用得. 小小 ê 破壞行為我會使原諒, 毋過伊出自惡意欲 thāu Barney, 這是 teh 阻礙科學 ê 進步. 這點我袂當原諒.
我干焦會當相信彼个企圖是 tī 酒精 ê 影響下做 ê, 做甲 siuⁿ 笨鈍. 毒藥罐掀倒, 藥粉一路 sōe 到 Barney ê 盤仔. Tayloe ê 辯護有夠軟弱. 伊毋認. 猶有 siáng ah?
9 月初 2.
我對 Tayloe 事件 ê 看法今較平靜 ah. 遮 ê 單調生活對伊來講定著真艱難. Án-ne 以外, 伊 koh 著放棄伊保惜 ê 白鳥鼠 (guinea pigs). 伊堅持到最後, 講 in 比 Barney 閣較適合我 ê 實驗. 我想, 恐驚是因為 in 較適合伊 ê 步調. 伊是一个認真 ê 人, 肯做, 毋過 mā 是一个笨鈍, 可憐 ê 人.
終其尾, 我有完全 ê 自由執行我 ê 工課, 毋免面對 Tayloe ê 無聲指責. 我干焦會當 kā 伊對 Barney ê 激烈敵意歸因 tī 目赤. 毋過, 今伊已經離開, Barney 看起來加 gōa-nī 歡喜! 我已經准伊 tī 這所在四界去, 觀察伊 he 新近覺醒 ê 智能好奇心 chhōa 伊 lin-long 踅, 這是 gōa-nī 趣味 ê 代誌 ah. 干焦經過兩禮拜 ê gutamic 酸 ê 處置, 伊已經對我 ê 冊房有興趣, ùi 冊架拖冊出來, 一頁一頁掀. 我確定伊知, hit 內面有智識通得著, 如果伊有彼支鎖匙.
9 月初 8.
過去兩工我著 kā Barney 關起來, iá 伊足討厭 án-ne. 我恐驚, tī 我 ê 實驗完成了後, 我著 kā Barney 消滅. 聽起來凡勢真譀古, 毋過猶是有可能, 伊會曉 kā 伊 ê 智能傳予伊 ê 同類. 毋管機會偌細, 這个風險袂當忽視. 佳哉, tī 地下室, 有一个防止害蟲 ê 保險櫃, kō͘ 這 mā 拄好會當關 Barney.
9 月初 9.
顯然我是講了 siūⁿ 早. 今仔早起, tī 開始新一輪 ê 試驗進前, 我先放伊出去小可 hui 一下. 先 kā 房間緊速巡一下了後, 伊 koh 轉去伊 ê 櫳仔, 跳起去門柄, kō͘ 伊 ê 喙齒抽彼支鎖匙, tī 我猶袂赴 kā 阻擋進前, 伊已經跳窗仔出去. 等我逐出去到前埕, 暗中看著伊 peh 上井唇, iá 我到彼位 ê 時, 干焦會赴聽著鎖匙 lak loeh 下面 ê 噴水聲.
我承認, 家己 mā 感覺見笑. 彼是唯一 ê 鎖匙. 門鎖著. 保險櫃內面別个格仔有一寡重要 ê 文件. 佳哉, 雖罔井深超過 40 尺, 下底干焦有幾尺深 ê 水, 所以落去抾鎖匙無啥物做袂到 ê 障礙. M̄-koh, 我 mā 著承認, Barney 已經贏第一回合.
9 月初 10.
我有一改大驚奇 ê 經驗, mā 和 Barney koh 發生一改 ê 小兢爭. 我得著第二名. Tī 這个事件, 我著承認伊 ê 英雄角色, 而且甚至可能是伊救我 ê 命.
為著方便落井, 我 kō͘ 一條四分三 inch 粗 ê 索仔, 每一尺拍一个結, 好通做一个簡單 ê 梯. 我真順利 tō 落到井底, 毋過開始挲揣鎖匙無幾分鐘, 我 ê 手電 tō 無電 ah, 我向頂面 peh 起來. Koh 幾尺 tō 到頂面 ê 時, 我聽著 Barney 一直 kia̍k-kia̍k 叫, 等我踏著塗跤 ê 時, 我發現 he 索仔差不多欲完全裂斷 ah. 顯然, 彼是因為索仔 lè tio̍h 石頭邊, iá 彼个小朋友, tī 感受著我 ê 困境 ê 時, 才會拚命 teh 警告我.
我已經換好勢彼節索仔, koh tī 下面疊一寡舊麻布, 免得 koh 發生意外. 我已經 kā 手電電池灌飽飽, 今已經準備好勢最後一改落去. 這陣這幾分鐘, 我是 teh 歇睏, 予家己一个歇喘 ê 時間, koh kā 日記補到上新. 凡勢我 mā 著為家己款一个 sandwich, 因為 tī 下面我可能需要比眼前看 ê 較久 ê 時間.
9 月 11.
可㔂 ê Barney 已 kenq 死 ah, 真緊 qóa mā 會 kānq 款. 伊是一紮老不起 ê náu 鼠, 無伊 tī-teh, senq 活真無趣味. 若有 lânq ta̍k to̍h 這, chháⁿ 恁毋 tanq 來這个島 káu-jáu 任何代誌, 予伊保持 qoân 樣, kā tònq 做是 Barney ê 記 lām 地, 尤其是彼个井. 毋 bán 去揣 qóa ê 死底, 因為 qóa 欲 tàu 海. 恁會 tànq 扎幾紮 小 náu 鼠來, 留 in 予 Barney 做活 ê 記 lām 品. 愛母 ê, 無愛公 ê. Qóa ê 手 láu to̍h, 這是按怎 qóa sá 字袂好勢. 這是 qóa 最後 ê 心 qoān. 奏 qóa 講 ê 去做, 等恁奏 qóa 講 án-ne 扎小 náu 鼠來老後, 毋通 koh 轉來 a̍h 做任何 káu-jáu. 干焦愛母 ê.
再會
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AUGUST 30TH. We are alone on the island now, Barney and I. It was something of a jolt to have to sack Tayloe after all these years, but I had no alternative. The petty vandalisms I could have forgiven, but when he tried to poison Barney out of simple malice, he was standing in the way of scientific progress. That I cannot condone.
I can only believe the attempt was made while under the influence of alcohol, it was so clumsy. The poison container was overturned and a trail of powder led to Barney's dish. Tayloe's defence was of the flimsiest. He denied it. Who else then?
SEPTEMBER 2ND. I am taking a calmer view of the Tayloe affair. The monastic life here must have become too much for him. That, and the abandonment of his precious guinea pigs. He insisted to the last that they were better-suited than Barney to my experiments. They were more his speed, I'm afraid. He was an earnest and willing worker, but something of a clod, poor fellow.
At last I have complete freedom to carry on my work without the mute reproaches of Tayloe. I can only ascribe his violent antagonism toward Barney to jealousy. And now that he has gone, how much happier Barney appears to be! I have given him complete run of the place, and what sport it is to observe how his newly awakened Intellectual curiosity carries him about. After only two weeks of glutamic acid treatments, he has become interested in my library, dragging the books from the shelves, and going over them page by page. I am certain he knows there is some knowledge to be gained from them had he but the key.
SEPTEMBER 8TH. For the past two days I have had to keep Barney confined, and how he hates it. I am afraid that when my experiments are completed I shall have to do away with Barney. Ridiculous as it may sound there is still the possibility that he might be able to communicate his intelligence to others of his kind. However small the chance may be, the risk is too great to ignore. Fortunately there is, in the basement, a vault built with the idea of keeping vermin out, and it will serve equally well to keep Barney in.
SEPTEMBER 9TH. Apparently I have spoken too soon. This morning I let him out to frisk around a bit before commencing a new series of tests. After a quick survey of the room he returned to his cage, sprang up on the door handle, removed the key with his teeth, and before I could stop him, he was out the window. By the time I reached the yard I spied him on the coping of the well, and I arrived on the spot only in time to hear the key splash into the water below.
I own I am somewhat embarrassed. It is the only key. The door is locked. Some valuable papers are in separate compartments inside the vault. Fortunately, although the well is over forty feet deep, there are only a few feet of water in the bottom, so the retrieving of the key does not present an insurmountable obstacle. But I must admit Barney has won the first round.
SEPTEMBER 10TH. I have had a rather shaking experience, and once more in a minor clash with Barney. I have come off second-best. In this instance I will admit he played the hero's role and may even have saved my life.
In order to facilitate my descent into the well I knotted a length of three-quarterinch rope at one-foot intervals to make a rude ladder. I reached the bottom easily enough, but after only a few minutes of groping for the key, my flashlight gave out and I returned to the surface. A few feet from the top I heard excited squeaks from Barney, and upon obtaining ground level I observed that the rope was almost completely severed. Apparently it had chafed against the edge of the masonry and the little fellow, perceiving my plight, had been doing his utmost to warn me.
I have now replaced that section of rope and arranged some old sacking beneath it to prevent recurrence of the accident. I have replenished the batteries in my flashlight and am now prepared for the final descent. These few moments I have taken off to give myself a breathing spell and to bring my journal up to date. Perhaps I should fix myself a sandwich as I may be down there longer than seems likely at the moment.
SEPTEMBER 11TH. Poor Barney is dead and soon I shell be the same. He was a wonderful ratt and life without him is knot worth livving. If anybody reeds this please do not disturb anything on the island but leeve it like it is as a shryn to Barney, espechilly the old well. Do not look for my body as I will caste myself into the see. You mite bring a couple of young ratts and leeve them as a living memorial to Barney. Females-no males. I sprayned my wrist is why this is written so bad. This is my laste will. Do what I say an don't come back or disturb anything after you bring the young ratts like I said. Just females.
Goodby
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// 2022-6-24
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