Lí ê | 你 ê
--
Allison chin chia̍h-la̍t kiâⁿ khui yi ê pe̍h Renault chhia, siōng-bóe ê kim-koe ê tāng-liōng teh kah yi kha-po͘ ta̍h bē chāi. Hông-hun phú-kng tiong, yi hoat-hiān Clark tī chhiū-ki hām hio̍h-á sì-kè òe ê chhù āu-bóe gîm-chîⁿ-kha.
Phi chi̍t-niá mô͘ moa-kin, i chē tī ū chhu-chū ê iô-í, kō͘ chhēng chhián-thoa ê kha-té thèⁿ, hō͘ iô-í chêng-āu hàiⁿ-tāng.
Allison pàng-lo̍h chi̍t-lia̍p tōa kim-koe, kā khǹg tī khoah-khoah ê tē-pán siōng.
Clark ke lāu chin chē -- 78 hòe, iá Allison 35. In sī ang-á-bó͘. In nn̄g-ê lóng put-chí-á lò, bīn-hêng khòaⁿ tio̍h mā sió-khóa sio-kāng. Allison tì chin-mo͘ ê ké-thâu-chang. He sī chi̍t-téng kāu-kāu, khàm kàu chhùi-phé-piⁿ ê kim thâu-chang. Yi kin-á-ji̍t chhēng ní hiáⁿ-sek ê phah-thih-á saⁿ. Pêng-siông-sî yi chhēng chho͘-pò͘ saⁿ, tī ē-po͘-sî khì chi̍t-ê jî-tông ji̍t-thok tiong-sim chò gī-kang.
Yi kā chi̍t-lia̍p khah sè ê kim-koe khǹg tī Clark ê tn̂g kha-thúi téng. "Taⁿ, mài chhòng siáⁿ chhiau-hiān-si̍t--ê," yi kā i kóng. "Kan-ta khek chi̍t-ê phó͘-thong ê bīn. Che sī boeh hō͘ gín-á--ê."
Tī mn̂g-lông ê Hipplewhite toh-á téng, Allison khòaⁿ tio̍h lú-po̍k ê ka-bū bêng-sè, ū kúi-hāng ōe-tiāu, he pau-hâm Clark ê àm-tǹg. Allison kín-sok cha-khòaⁿ múi-ji̍t ê sìn-kiāⁿ: chi̍t-ê hoe-sà-sà ê iu-hūi-kǹg lok-á, Jamestown Chiú-hâng ê siàu-toaⁿ, 11-goe̍h ê hù-hùi TV chiat-bo̍k chí-lâm, koh ū siōng-hāi ê, siōng hó-sńg ê, chi̍t-hong í-keng thiah-khui, ke̍k bô iú-siān ê phe, lâi chū Clark tī Pak-hong ê chhin-chiâⁿ. "Lí sī chi̍t-ê lāu hàu-tai," Allison kā tha̍k, "Lí hông phiàn kah chin hiau-hēng." Lāi-bīn hù chi̍t-tiuⁿ chi-phiò chò lé-bu̍t, m̄-koh he bē-tit ōaⁿ-chîⁿ, in-ūi chhiam-miâ sī "Iâ-so͘ H. Kitok."
Hit-àm òaⁿ kàu chin àm, tī āu-bóe gîm-chîⁿ-kha ê chi̍t-tè kū toh-á téng, Allison hām Clark chò-hóe óe koh khek kim-koe, tâm khì ê pò-chóa téng koh pho͘ chi̍t-tiuⁿ pò-chóa, iōng siah-phôe to hām thng-sî-á, Clark koh iōng Swiss kun-to lâi khek cheng-khak ê chhùi-khí hām ba̍k-chiu hām phīⁿ-khang. Clark kòe-khì sī i-seng, lāi-kho i-su, m̄-koh mā sī chi̍t-ê lé-pài-ji̍t ê chúi-chhái ōe-ka. I khek ê sì-ê kim-koe ū piáu -chêng koh ū gē-su̍t-sèng. Tiau-khek ê te̍k-tiám sek-ha̍p kim-koe ê tōa-sè kap hêng-chōng. Nn̄g-ê khòaⁿ khí-lâi pháiⁿ kho̍k-kho̍k koh giàng giâ-giâ. Chi̍t-ê hō͘ lâng tio̍h chi̍t-kiaⁿ. Siōng bóe hit-ê an-siông koh chhiò bi-bi.
Allison ê hit sì-ê bīn tō bô khek kah hiah lêng-khiáu, ū liah-khiah kap cháu-iūⁿ ê só͘-chāi. Yi kā phīⁿ hām ba̍k-chiu kheh chò saⁿ-kak-hêng. Yi chò ê chhùi chí sī chiⁿ-á hêng, Nn̄g-ê khiàu téng-koân, nn̄g-ê khiàu ē-bīn.
Kàu hoan-cheng chi̍t-tiám, in kiat-sok ah. It-ti̍t àⁿ tn̂g-tn̂g ê téng-sin kang-chok ê Clark, taⁿ tńg-khì i ê iô-í, ài-khùn ê ba̍k-chiu sîn-sîn khòaⁿ gōa-kháu. Kui-ê soaⁿ-kok só͘-ū ê teng-kng lóng hoa-khì ah.
Clark lâu tī hia. Tī chit-ê kùi-chiat kap sî-kan, Virginia ê àm-mê chin un-loán. Tōa pō͘-hūn chhiū-hio̍h í-keng sàu kng-kng, chhiū-á khiā leh, bô chùn-būn. In téng-koân ê goe̍h-niû îⁿ-îⁿ.
Allison kā tiûⁿ-só͘ piàⁿ chheng-khì.
"Lí ê kim-koe teng pí góa ê khah hó chē-chē-chē ah," Clark tùi yi kóng.
"Bái kô͘-kô͘ lah," Allison kóng.
"Khòaⁿ góa," Clark kóng. Allison khòaⁿ i.
Yi the̍h chi̍t-tēⁿ tâm kô͘-kô͘ ê pò-chóa. Pò-chóa sàn-hoat tio̍h kim-koe pak-lāi ê tiⁿ-bī.
"Lí ê ke hó chē-chē lah." i kóng.
"Lí kóng m̄-tio̍h. In tiám-hóe liáu, lí tō khòaⁿ ē-chhut," Allison kóng.
Yi kiâⁿ ji̍p-khì, the̍h n̂g-sek ê chiú-iā la̍h-chek chhut-lâi. Keng-kòe chi̍t-khùn, yi chiah kā ta̍k-ki la̍h-chek kò͘-tēng hó-sè, jiân-āu kā sêng-phín tī gîm-chîⁿ lân-kan pâi chò chi̍t-pâi. Yi iân-lō͘ kā ta̍k-ki la̍h-chek tiám to̍h, koh kā kim-koe kòa khàm tī sió-sió hóe-iām ê téng-koân.
"Ū khòaⁿ tio̍h bô?" yi kóng.
In chò-hóe chē chi̍t-khùn, khòaⁿ he kam-á-sek ê bīn.
"Lán lóng chin thiám-thâu ah. Sī kóng àm-an ê sî-chūn ah-lah," Allison kóng. "M̄-thang pûn hoa la̍h-chek. Bîn-á-chài góa ē khǹg sin ê."
Hit-mê, tī in ê khùn-pâng, pí ī-chhek khah chá kúi-ā lé-pài, Allison khai-sí tit-boeh sí. "Góa ê ké-thâu-chang nā lok-khì, chhiáⁿ lí m̄-thang khòaⁿ góa," yi kā Clark kóng. "Pài-thok."
Niû me̍h ê tiān-sòaⁿ tī yi chéng-thâu-á-ē chùn-tāng. Yi gia̍h kha kā mî-phōe that khui. Yi kā Clark kóng chi̍t-kóa chhia-khò͘ só-tio̍h ê tāi-chì.
Tī tiān-ōe hia, Clark ē-tàng chheng-chhó khòaⁿ ji̍p-lâi, hām khòaⁿ tio̍h ē-bīn ê gîm-chîⁿ. I boeh koh chi̍t-pái hām in bó͘ lim-chùi. I boeh kā yi kóng, kō͘ i ê khah tōa ê kak-tō͘: kan-ta ū chhiūⁿ i chit-chióng sió châi-hôa, sī chi̍t-chióng khó-phà, khùn-jiáu ê tāi-chì; kóng: kan-ta sió-khóa te̍k-pia̍t, tāi-piáu lí tōa pō͘-hūn sî-kan kî-thāi siuⁿ chē, jî-chhiáⁿ kah-ì ka-tī siuⁿ chió. I boeh kā yi pó-chèng, yi bô khiàm-khoeh siáⁿ-mi̍h.
Taⁿ, i teh kóng tiān-ōe. I khòaⁿ hiah-ê kim-koe teng. Kim-koe teng mā khòaⁿ i.
--
Allison 真食力行開她 ê 白 Renault 車, 上尾 ê 金瓜 ê 重量硩甲她跤步踏袂在. 黃昏殕光中, 她發現 Clark tī 樹枝和葉仔四界穢 ê 厝後尾砛簷跤.
披一領毛幔巾, 伊坐 tī 有舒苴 ê 搖椅, kō͘ 穿淺拖 ê 跤底牚, 予搖椅前後幌動.
Allison 放落一粒大金瓜, kā 囥 tī 闊闊 ê 地板上.
Clark ke 老真濟 -- 78 歲, iá Allison 35. In 是翁仔某. In 兩个 lóng 不止仔躼, 面形看著 mā 小可相仝. Allison 戴真毛 ê 假頭鬃. 彼是一頂厚厚, 崁到喙䫌邊 ê 金頭鬃. 她今仔日穿染顯色 ê 拍鐵仔衫. 平常時她穿粗布衫, tī 下晡時去一个兒童日托中心做義工.
她 kā 一粒較細 ê 金瓜囥 tī Clark ê 長跤腿頂. "今, 莫創 siáⁿ 超現實 ê," 她 kā 伊講. "干焦刻一个普通 ê 面. 這是欲予囡仔 ê."
Tī 門廊 ê Hipplewhite 桌仔頂, Allison 看著女僕 ê 家務明細, 有幾項畫掉, he 包含 Clark ê 暗頓. Allison 緊速查看每日 ê 信件: 一个花 sà-sà ê 優惠券橐仔, Jamestown 酒行 ê 數單, 11 月 ê 付費 TV 節目指南, 閣有上害 ê, 上好耍 ê, 一封已經拆開, 極無友善 ê 批, 來自 Clark tī 北方 ê 親情. "你是一个老孝呆," Allison kā 讀, "你 hông 騙甲真僥倖." 內面附一張支票做禮物, 毋過 he 袂得換錢, 因為簽名是 "耶穌 H. 基督."
彼暗晏到真暗, tī 後尾砛簷跤 ê 一塊舊桌仔頂, Allison 和 Clark 做伙挖 koh 刻金瓜, 澹去 ê 報紙頂 koh 鋪一張報紙, 用削皮刀和湯匙仔, Clark koh 用 Swiss 軍刀來刻精確 ê 喙齒和目睭和鼻空. Clark 過去是醫生, 內科醫師, 毋過 mā 是一个禮拜日 ê 水彩畫家. 伊刻 ê 四个金瓜有表情 koh 有藝術性. 雕刻 ê 特點適合金瓜 ê 大細 kap 形狀. 兩个看起來歹硞硞 koh 齴夯夯. 一个予人著一驚. 上尾彼个安祥 koh 笑 bi-bi.
Allison ê 彼四个面 tō 無刻甲 hiah 靈巧, 有裂隙 kap 走樣 ê 所在. 她 kā 鼻和目睭刻做三角形. 她做 ê 喙只是櫼仔形, 兩个翹頂懸, 兩个翹下面.
到翻鐘一點, in 結束 ah. 一直 àⁿ 長長 ê 頂身工作 ê Clark, 今轉去伊 ê 搖椅, 愛睏 ê 目睭神神看外口. 規个山谷所有 ê 燈光 lóng hoa 去 ah.
Clark 留 tī 遐. Tī 這个季節 kap 時間, Virginia ê 暗暝真溫暖. 大部份樹葉已經掃光光, 樹仔徛 leh, 無 chùn-būn. In 頂懸 ê 月娘圓圓.
Allison kā 場所拚清氣.
"你 ê 金瓜燈比我 ê 較好濟濟濟 ah," Clark 對她講.
"䆀糊糊 lah," Allison 講.
"看我," Clark 講. Allison 看伊.
她提一捏澹糊糊 ê 報紙. 報紙散發著金瓜腹內 ê 甜味.
"你 ê 加好濟濟 lah." 伊講.
"你講毋著. In 點火了, 你 tō 看會出," Allison 講.
她行入去, 提黃色 ê 守夜蠟燭出來. 經過一睏, 她才 kā 逐支蠟燭固定好勢, 然後 kā 成品 tī 砛簷欄杆排做一排. 她沿路 kā 逐支蠟燭點 to̍h, koh kā 金瓜蓋崁 tī 小小火焰 ê 頂懸.
"有看著 bô?" 她講.
In 做伙坐一睏, 看 he 柑仔色 ê 面.
"咱 lóng 真忝頭 ah. 是講暗安 ê 時陣 ah-lah," Allison 講. "毋通歕 hoa 蠟燭. 明仔載我會囥新 ê."
彼暝, tī in ê 睏房, 比預測較早幾若禮拜, Allison 開始得欲死. "我 ê 假頭鬃若 lak 去, 請你毋通看我," 她 kā Clark 講. "拜託."
量脈 ê 電線 tī 她指頭仔下顫動. 她攑跤 kā 棉被踢開. 她 kā Clark 講一寡車庫鎖著 ê 代誌.
Tī 電話遐, Clark 會當清楚看入來, 和看著下面 ê 砛簷. 伊欲 koh 一擺和 in 某啉醉. 伊欲 kā 她講, kō͘ 伊 ê 較大 ê 角度: 干焦有像伊這種小才華, 是一種可怕, 困擾 ê 代誌; 講: 干焦小可特別, 代表你大部份時間期待 siuⁿ 濟, 而且佮意家己 siuⁿ 少. 伊欲 kā 她保證, 她無欠缺啥物.
今, 伊 teh 講電話. 伊看 hiah-ê 金瓜燈. 金瓜燈 mā 看伊.
--
Allison struggled away from her white Renault, limping with the weight of the last of the pumpkins. She found Clark in the twilight on the twig-and-leaf-littered porch behind the house.
He wore a wool shawl. He was moving up and back in a padded glider, pushed by the ball of his slippered foot.
Allison lowered a big pumpkin, let it rest on the wide floorboards.
Clark was much older--seventy-eight to Allison's thirty-five. They were married. They were both quite tall and looked something alike in their facial features. Allison wore a natural-hair wig. It was a thick blonde hood around her face. She was dressed in bright-dyed denims today. She wore durable clothes, usually, for she volunteered afternoons at a children's daycare center.
She put one of the smaller pumpkins on Clark's long lap. "Now, nothing surreal," she told him. "Carve just a regular face. These are for the kids."
In the foyer, on the Hipplewhite desk, Allison found the maid's chore list with its cross-offs, which included Clark's supper. Allison went quickly through the daily mail: a garish coupon packet, a bill from Jamestown Liquors, November's pay-TV program guide, and the worst thing, the funniest, an already opened, extremely unkind letter from Clark's relations up North. "You're an old fool," Allison read, and, "You're being cruelly deceived." There was a gift check for Clark enclosed, but it was uncashable, signed as it was, "Jesus H. Christ."
Late, late into this night, Allison and Clark gutted and carved the pumpkins together, at an old table set on the back porch, over newspaper after soggy newspaper, with paring knives and with spoons and with a Swiss Army knife Clark used for exact shaping of tooth and eye and nostril. Clark had been a doctor, an internist, but also a Sunday watercolorist. His four pumpkins were expressive and artful. Their carved features were suited to the sizes and shapes of the pumpkins. Two looked ferocious and jagged. One registered surprise. The last was serene and beaming.
Allison's four faces were less deftly drawn, with slits and areas of distortion. She had cut triangles for noses and eyes. The mouths she had made were just wedges--two turned up and two turned down.
By one in the morning they were finished. Clark, who had bent his long torso forward to work, moved back over to the glider and looked out sleepily at nothing. All the lights were out across the ravine.
Clark stayed. For the season and time, the Virginia night was warm. Most leaves had been blown away already, and the trees stood unbothered. The moon was round above them.
Allison cleaned up the mess.
"Your jack-o-lanterns are much, much better than mine," Clark said to her.
"Like hell," Allison said.
"Look at me," Clark said. Allison did.
She was holding a squishy bundle of newspapers. The papers reeked sweetly with the smell of pumpkin guts.
"Yours are far better," he said.
"You're wrong. You'll see when they're lit," Allison said.
She went inside and came back with yellow vigil candles. It took her a while to get each candle settled, and then to line up the results in a row on the porch railing. She went along and lit each candle and fixed the pumpkin lids over the little flames.
"See?" she said.
They sat together a moment and looked at the orange faces.
"We're exhausted. It's good night time," Allison said. "Don't blow out the candles. I'll put new in tomorrow."
That night, in their bedroom, a few weeks earlier than had been predicted, Allison began to die. "Don't look at me if my wig comes off," she told Clark. "Please."
Her pulse cords were fluttering under his fingers. She raised her knees and kicked away the comforter. She said something to Clark about the garage being locked.
At the telephone, Clark had a clear view out back and down to the porch. He wanted to get drunk with his wife once more. He wanted to tell her, from the greater perspective he had, that to own only a little talent, like his, was an awful, plaguing thing; that being only a little special meant you expected too much, most of the time, and liked yourself too little. He wanted to assure her that she had missed nothing.
He was speaking into the phone now. He watched the jack-o-lanterns. The jack-o-lanterns watched him.
--
// 2022-6-26
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