2. Lâi hām goán chò-hóe chia̍h kóa mi̍h
Hit-kho͘ tián soah i ê hhàu-phùi kang-hu, kiâⁿ khui. Jiân-āu, góa khai-sí ná teh thô͘-kha pê ná khioh ùi góa ê hêng-lí-siuⁿ lak chhut-lâi ê chhiú-kó hām chiâu-sī phòa-khang ê saⁿ-á-khò͘. Góa kā in siu hó-sè, kā poaⁿ kàu tiâⁿ ê hit-pêng. Chhù piⁿ ū chi̍t-ê chng-á chàu, téng-bīn ū chi̍t-ê oe-á teh chú ti-bah; he ian ê khoán hām hn̄g-hn̄g chng-kha ê goán-tau kāng-khoán, chū án-ne, iau-ki ê kám-kak hām bô-pí ê ko͘-toaⁿ kau-chhap chò-hóe. Góa kō͘ ta-chháu khàm hêng-lí, án-ne tòng-chò chím-thâu, tō tó-lo̍h, tha̍k Pravda (Chin-lí) Pò khan ê Lenin tī Kiōng-sán Kok-chè Tē-jī-chhù Tāi-hōe ê ián-káng. Ji̍t-kng ùi āu-bīn koân-koân kē-kē ê soaⁿ-lūn chiò tī góa ê sin-khu, Cossack lâng ta̍h góa ê kha kiâⁿ kòe, kāng hit-ê siàu-liân put-toān chok-lōng góa, i he siū kah-ì ê ōe-gí iân ū-chhì ê lō͘ hiòng góa lâi, m̄-koh bô hoat-tō͘ kàu-ūi góa chia. Āu-lâi, góa kā pò-chóa khǹg chi̍t-pêng, khì chhōe tī têng-á-kha se̍h-lâi se̍h-khì ê chhù thâu-ke-niû.
"Thâu-ke-niû," góa kóng, "góa su-iàu chia̍h-pn̄g..."
Lāu hū-jîn kā he pòaⁿ chheⁿ-mê ê ba̍k-pe̍h gia̍h chi̍t-ē, koh pàng lo̍h.
"Tông-chì," tiām chi̍t-ē liáu yi kóng, "chiah-ê ū-ê bô-ê pìⁿ kah góa siūⁿ boeh cháu khì tiàu-tāu."
"Thiⁿ ah, góa ē kā lí jôe sí, cha-bó͘," góa àu-náu án-ne liām, koh kō͘ kûn-thâu-bó tháⁿ lāu hū-jîn ê heng. "Góa lâi kái-soeh hō͘ lí chai-iáⁿ..."
Hit-sî, chi̍t-ē oa̍t-sin, góa khòaⁿ tio̍h lī góa bô hn̄g ê só͘-chāi ū chi̍t-ki kiàm. Chi̍t-chiah ui-hong ê gô iô-iô-pái-pái tī tiâⁿ-nih kiâⁿ, koh ná teh an-chēng chéng-lí i ê mo͘. Góa jiok tio̍h gô, kā sak tó tī thô͘-kha, kō͘ bé-hia chàm gô-thâu, khiak chi̍t-ē, hoeh khai-sí lâu. Pe̍h-sek ê ām-kún tó tī sái nih, si̍t khai-sí tī sí-thé téng phia̍t.
"Thiⁿ ah, góa ē kā lí jôe sí, cha-bó͘!" góa ná kóng, ná kā kiàm chhah-ji̍p gô. "Thâu-ke-niû, che the̍h khì chú hō͘ góa."
Lāu hū-jîn ê chheⁿ-mê-ba̍k hām ba̍k-kiàⁿ chò chi̍t-ē kim sih-sih, kín kā gô khioh khí-lâi, pau tī ûi-su-kûn, chah ji̍p-khì chàu-kha.
Tiâⁿ-nih ê Cossack lâng í-keng ûi in ê oe-á chē leh. In tiām-tiām chē thêng-thêng, ná-chhiūⁿ sī bo̍k-su, in bô khòaⁿ hit-chiah gô.
"Hit-ê siàu-liân-ke bē-bái," kî-tiong chi̍t-lâng kóng khí góa, ba̍k-chiu ná nih ná iúⁿ pe̍h-chhài thng.
Hiah-ê Cossack lâng khai-sí chia̍h-pn̄g, tòa chi̍t-chióng chng-kha-lâng khek-chè ka-tī, hō͘-siong chun-kèng ê iu-ngá; góa kō͘ soa-á lù chheng-khì góa ê kiàm, kiâⁿ chhut tōa-mn̂g, āu-lâi koh kiâⁿ tńg-lâi, thiám oaiⁿ-oaiⁿ. Goe̍h kòa tī chhù-tiâⁿ téng, ná chhiūⁿ chi̍t-ê chho͘-sio̍k ê hīⁿ-kau.
"Heh," Cossack lâng tiong-kan siōng-lāu ê Surovkov, hut-jiân tùi góa kóng, "lâi hām goán chò-hóe chia̍h kóa mi̍h, ná tán lí ê gô chú hó."
I ùi bé-hia giú chi̍t-ki thng-sî, kau hō͘ góa. Goán tō lim he in ka-tī chú ê chhài-thng koh chia̍h ti-bah.
"Pò-chóa ū siáⁿ-mi̍h bô?" iûⁿ-môa thâu-chang hit-ê siàu-liân mn̄g, kheh chi̍t-ê ūi hō͘ góa chē.
"Lenin tī pò-chóa siá kóng," góa kóng, the̍h chhut Pravda Pò, "Lenin siá kóng, bo̍k-chêng ta̍k-hāng to khiàm-khoat..."
Tōa-tōa siaⁿ, ná-chhiūⁿ tek-ì ê chheⁿ-mê-lâng án-ne, góa kā Lenin ê ián-káng liām hō͘ Cossack lâng thiaⁿ.
Boeh-àm ê phú-kng kō͘ chùi-lâng ê khì-hun kā góa pau-ûi, hông-hun kō͘ i un-jiû ê chhiú-pôaⁿ tah tī góa hoat-sio ê hia̍h-thâu.
Góa ná tha̍k ná hoaⁿ-hí, tī hoaⁿ-hí ê tang-tiong mā chù-ì Lenin kóng ê ti̍t-ōa tiong-kan ê pì-bi̍t oan-khiau.
"Chin-lí chóng-sī ē hō͘ lâng phīⁿ-khang ngiau," Surovko tī góa tha̍k liáu án-ne kóng, "būn-tê sī án-chóaⁿ ùi chi̍t-tui lāi-té kéng tio̍h he, m̄-koh i chi̍t-ē tō chhōe tio̍h, ná-chhiūⁿ ke-bó khioh chi̍t-lia̍p chhek."
Che tō sī chham-bô͘ tiong-tūi ê pâi-tiúⁿ Surovkov tùi Lenin ê kóng-hoat, jiân-āu goán tō khì chháu-liâu-á nih khùn. Goán la̍k-ê lâng khùn tī hia, chò-hóe kheh-sio, kha-thúi sio khòe, chhù-téng ū chē-chē ê khang, khòaⁿ ē-tio̍h thiⁿ-téng ê chheⁿ.
Góa bîn-bāng, tī bāng tiong tú tio̍h súi cha-bó͘, m̄-koh góa ê sim-koaⁿ, in-ūi khui sat-kài bak tio̍h hoeh, khia̍k-khia̍k kiò, it-ti̍t lâu-hoeh.
(Soah)
--
2. 來和阮做伙食寡物
彼箍展煞伊 ê 臭屁功夫, 行開. 然後, 我開始 ná teh 塗跤爬 ná 抾 ùi 我 ê 行李箱 lak 出來 ê 手稿和齊是破空 ê 衫仔褲. 我 kā in 收好勢, kā 搬到埕 ê 彼爿. 厝邊有一个磚仔灶, 頂面有一个鍋仔 teh 煮豬肉; he 煙 ê 款和遠遠庄跤 ê 阮兜仝款, 自 án-ne, 枵饑 ê 感覺和無比 ê 孤單交插做伙. 我 kō͘ 焦草崁行李, án-ne 當做枕頭, tō 倒落, 讀 Pravda (真理) 報刊 ê Lenin tī 共產國際第二次大會 ê 演講. 日光 ùi 後面懸懸低低 ê 山崙照 tī 我 ê 身軀, Cossack 人踏我 ê 跤行過, 仝彼个少年不斷作弄我, 伊 he 受佮意 ê 話語沿有刺 ê 路向我來, 毋過無法度到位我遮. 後來, 我 kā 報紙囥一爿, 去揣 tī 亭仔跤踅來踅去 ê 厝頭家娘.
"頭家娘," 我講, "我需要食飯..."
老婦人 kā he 半青盲 ê 目白攑一下, koh 放落.
"同志," 恬一下了她講, "chiah-ê 有 ê 無 ê pìⁿ 甲我想欲走去吊脰."
"天 ah, 我會 kā 你挼死, 查某," 我懊惱 án-ne 念, koh kō͘ 拳頭母挺老婦人 ê 胸. "我來解說予你知影..."
彼時, 一下越身, 我看著離我無遠 ê 所在有一支劍. 一隻威風 ê 鵝搖搖擺擺 tī 埕 nih 行, koh ná teh 安靜整理伊 ê 毛. 我逐著鵝, kā 捒倒 tī 塗跤, kō͘ 馬靴蹔鵝頭, khiak 一下, 血開始流. 白色 ê 頷頸倒 tī 屎 nih, 翼開始 tī 死體頂 phia̍t.
"天 ah, 我會 kā 你挼死, 查某!" 我 ná 講, ná kā 劍插入鵝. "頭家娘, 這提去煮予我."
老婦人 ê 青盲目和目鏡做一下金 sih-sih, 緊 kā 鵝抾起來, 包 tī 圍軀裙, 扎入去灶跤.
埕 nih ê Cossack 人已經圍 in ê 鍋仔坐 leh. In 恬恬坐騰騰, ná 像是牧師, in 無看彼隻鵝.
"彼个少年家袂䆀," 其中一人講起我, 目睭 ná nih ná 舀白菜湯.
Hiah-ê Cossack 人開始食飯, 帶一種庄跤人克制家己, 互相尊敬 ê 優雅; 我 kō͘ 沙仔鑢清氣我 ê 劍, 行出大門, 後來 koh 行轉來, 忝 oaiⁿ-oaiⁿ. 月掛 tī 厝埕頂, ná 像一个粗俗 ê 耳鉤.
"Heh," Cossack 人中間上老 ê Surovkov, 忽然對我講, "來和阮做伙食寡物, ná 等你 ê 鵝煮好."
伊 ùi 馬靴搝一支湯匙, 交予我. 阮 tō 啉彼 in 家己煮 ê 菜湯 koh 食豬肉.
"報紙有啥物無?" 楊麻頭鬃彼个少年問, kheh 一个位予我坐.
"Lenin tī 報紙寫講," 我講, 提出 Pravda 報, "Lenin 寫講, 目前逐項 to 欠缺..."
大大聲, ná 像得意 ê 青盲人 án-ne, 我 kā Lenin ê 演講念予 Cossack 人聽.
欲暗 ê 殕光 kō͘ 醉人 ê 氣氛 kā 我包圍, 黃昏 kō͘ 伊溫柔 ê 手盤貼 tī 我發燒 ê 額頭.
我 ná 讀 ná 歡喜, tī 歡喜 ê 當中 mā 注意 Lenin 講 ê 直話中間 ê 祕密彎曲.
"真理總是會予人鼻空 ngiau," Surovko tī 我讀了 án-ne 講, "問題是按怎 ùi 一堆內底揀著彼, 毋過伊一下 tō 揣著, ná 像雞母抾一粒粟."
這就是參謀中隊 ê 排長 Surovkov 對 Lenin ê 講法, 然後阮 tō 去草寮仔 nih 睏. 阮六个人睏 tī 遐, 做伙 kheh 燒, 跤腿相蹶, 厝頂有濟濟 ê 空, 看會著天頂 ê 星.
我眠夢, tī 夢中拄著媠查某, 毋過我 ê 心肝, 因為開殺戒沐著血, 噗噗叫, 一直流血.
(煞)
--
2.
The fellow exhausted his unsubtle talents and walked away. Then, crawling on the ground, I started to collect the manuscripts and my old clothes, full of holes, that had fallen out of the trunk. I collected and carried them to the other end of the yard. By the hut, on a stove made of bricks, was a pot of cooking pork; it smoked as my far-away home in the country smoked, and hunger became confused with my unparalleled loneliness. I covered my trunk with hay, made a pillow of it and lay down on the ground to read Lenin's speech at the Second Congress of the Comintern in Pravda. The sun fell upon me from behind the jagged hillocks, the Cossacks stepped on my feet, the same young fellow did not tire of making fun at my expense, the beloved lines were approaching me along the thorny path but were unable to reach me. I then put the newspaper aside and went to see the landlady who was spinning on the porch.
"Landlady," I said, "I need to eat ... "
The old woman raised the spreading whites of her half-blind eyes and again lowered them.
"Comrade," she said after her silence, "all of this makes me want to go and hang myself."
"By God I'll strangle you, woman," I muttered irritably and shoved the old woman with my fist to her chest. "I'm supposed to explain it to you ... "
And, when I turned around I saw somebody's sword lying around not far away. A tyrannical goose was waddling around the yard and was serenely preening its feathers. I caught up with it and pushed it down to the ground, the goose's head cracked under my boot, snapped, and blood began to flow. The white neck lay in the dung and the wings began to flap over the dead body.
"By God, I'll strangle you, woman!" I said, rooting in the goose with my sword. "Landlady, cook it for me."
The old woman, sparkling with her blindness and glasses, picked the bird up, wrapped it in her apron and carried it to the kitchen.
In the yard the Cossacks were already sitting around their pot. They were sitting motionlessly, erect, like priests, and didn't look at the goose.
"The fellow's okay," one of them said about me, winked and ladled the cabbage soup.
The Cossacks began eating with the restrained elegance of peasants who respect each other, and I cleaned the sword with sand, walked out through the gate and came back again, weary. The moon hung over the yard like a cheap earring.
"Hey," Surovkov, the eldest of the Cossacks, said to me suddenly, "come and have some grub with us until your goose is done."
He pulled an extra spoon out of his boot and gave it to me. We guzzled down the homemade cabbage soup and ate the pork.
"Anything in the newspaper?" the fellow with the flaxen hair asked and he made room for me.
"Lenin writes in the newspaper," I said, pulling out Pravda, "Lenin writes that there's shortages of everything ... "
And loudly, like an exultant blind man, I read Lenin's speech to the Cossacks.
Evening wrapped me in the intoxicating liquor of its twilight sheets, evening put its maternal palms to my enflamed forehead.
I read and rejoiced and was on the watch, while rejoicing, for the secret curve in Lenin's straight line.
"Truth tickles everybody's nose," Surovkov said when I had finished, "but the problem is picking it out of the heap, but he hits on it right away, like a chicken with a piece of grain."
That's what Surovkov, the platoon commander of the staff squadron, said about Lenin, and then we went to bed in the hayloft. The six of us slept there, sharing our warmth with each other, our legs entangled, under the roof, full of holes, which let the stars in.
I dreamed and saw women in my dreams, and only my heart, stained with the blood of the killing, creaked and bled.
--
// 2022-2-20
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