The Last of Her Sons /by Alden Nowlan
https://dalspace.library.dal.ca/bitstream/handle/10222/58894/dalrev_vol42_iss1_pp50_54.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
Ban-kiáⁿ | 屘囝
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1. I tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē sī chi̍t-ê sin-sū
Skipper sī Ethel hām Judd Syverson gō͘-ê kiáⁿ siōng sè hit-ê. Ban-kiáⁿ Skipper hām in ta̍k-ê hiaⁿ-ko kāng-khoán, lóng chin kiaⁿ koh chin chheh in lāu-pē, hām in lāu-bú ū chi̍t-ê bô kóng chhut chhùi ê hō͘-siong pó-hō͘ ê hia̍p-gī.
Chiàu i ka-tī kóng ê, Judd sī chi̍t-ê khó͘-miā lâng. Ta̍k lé-pài 60 tiám-cheng, i tī kì-châi-só͘ chò poaⁿ-ūn, kō͘ keng-thâu ùi kì-tâi poaⁿ khì bo̍k-châi tui. Pêng-ji̍t ê àm-sî, i chiúⁿ tī chàu-kha, bô-lám bô-ne, iu-thâu kat-bīn, it-ti̍t kàu káu-tiám chiah khì khùn. Tī lāu-pē bīn-chêng, Skipper kek kah chin chèng-keng, bē-su bīn-tùi chheⁿ-hūn-lâng: i khin-kha khin-chhiú, koh chin chió kóng-ōe. Hām lāu-bú kóng-ōe ê sî, Skipper chheng-ho͘ i "Judd," m̄-bat kiò i "papa" a̍h "lāu-pē." Judd iau-kiû lâng tùi i tio̍h chun-kèng koh ho̍k-chiông, m̄-koh bô án-chóaⁿ koán in kiáⁿ. Pài-la̍k àm-sî, Judd hām kì-châi-só͘ kî-thaⁿ kang-lâng kāng-khoán, khì tìn-siōng, kàu tē-jī kang chá-khí nn̄g/saⁿ tiám chiah lim kah chùi bâng-bâng tńg-chhù.
Hām chiú-phōaⁿ chò-hóe, Judd thong-siông oa̍h-thiàu koh ū khì-sè. M̄-koh tán i chiú-chùi tńg-chhù, i kàn-kiāu in bó͘, kóng gín-á sī yi ê, thōng-hó in sī niau-á-kiáⁿ, thang kā liân chio̍h-thâu thīⁿ ji̍p pò͘-tē, the̍h khì tū-chúi. Ū kúi-nā kái, i kō͘ kûn-thâu-bó cheng Ethel, koh ū chi̍t-kái, kā yi that kah poa̍h-tó, hit-sî Skipper khiā tī piⁿ-á teh ki. Koh ū chē-chē kái, tī pòaⁿ-mê, i kā Skipper khiú lo̍h chhn̂g, iōng kok-chióng chioh-kháu, kō͘ gû-phôe-tòa kā i sut. Tī chit-chióng sî-chūn, thiⁿ-khì nā un-loán, Ethel tō chhōa Skipper chhut-khì, tī àm-mê tiong sio-lám chē tī soaⁿ-piⁿ, ná khòaⁿ in tau, ná tán Judd khùn khì, hóe-khì hoa khì.
Kō͘ chi̍t-chióng kî-koài, léng-chēng ê hong-sek, Skipper oàn-hūn in lāu-pē. I thó-ià Judd kā ka-tī kang-chok kah thiám oaiⁿ-oaiⁿ ê kang-tiûⁿ. I oàn-chheh lâi chhōe in lāu-pē, kā chiú-koàn-á chhàng tī ûi-su-kûn ê hiah-ê lâng. Iáu-ū, tī 6 hòe kàu 14 hòe tiong-kan, i bat chē-chē kái hiòng lāu-bú li̍p-sè, kóng, chí-iàu oa̍h-leh, éng-oán i to bē lim lia̍t-chiú.
Ethel ióng-sêng Skipper kò-sèng tiong-kan Judd siōng khòaⁿ-khin ê kok hong-bīn. Iáu-sī chi̍t-ê pe̍h-mo͘ gín-á ê sî, chhēng mî-pò͘ té-khò͘, polo shirts /siat.chuh/, Skipper chhiâng-chāi sàng yi hoe-sok: chi̍t-pé chí-lô-lân a̍h chi̍t-pa̍k gō͘-goe̍h-hoe a̍h chhu-kiok. Yi jīn-ûi i khó-ài, ū lâm-chú khì-khài. Yi chai chiah-ê lé-mi̍h m̄-sī tong-jiân; chāi-chāi hō͘ yi tōa kám-tōng, bē-su he sī ài-jîn ê lé-mi̍h.
Yi kó͘-lē Skipper ài káⁿ bîn-bāng. Tī chìn-chêng, yi mā án-ne kó͘-lē in hiah-ê hiaⁿ-ko. Yi kóng, tōa-hàn liáu-āu, i ē chò ha̍k-īⁿ ê īⁿ-tiúⁿ, chi̍t-ê chheng-chhéⁿ ê lâng, chhēng shirts, kat nekutái khì siōng-pan. I boeh lī-khui chng-kha, khì hn̄g-hn̄g ê só͘-chāi, tong-jiân lāu-bú mā boeh tòe i khì. Kiám-chhái i bô piàn hó-gia̍h -- m̄-koh i tiāⁿ-tio̍h ē sī chi̍t-ê sin-sū.
Skipper iōng-sim thiaⁿ só͘-ū yi kā i kóng ê tāi-chì. Yi sī i ê hiáng-tō, mā sī i ê pī-lān-só͘. Judd khòaⁿ tio̍h i tī yi ê kûn-piⁿ khîⁿ tiâu-tiâu, tō kóng i sī chi̍t-ê ài-khàu gín-á. Judd chho͘-chhân toàn-tēng: i ê bāng-sióng lóng sī gû-gōng. Tán Skipper tōa-hàn, i tio̍h chhin-chhiūⁿ in lāu-pē, in a-kong chìn-chêng só͘ chò ê án-ne, khì kang-tiûⁿ chò-kang. I ē pìⁿ-chiâⁿ giám-ngē, in-ūi cha-po͘-lâng tio̍h giám-ngē chiah ē-tit khiā-khí. I nā ū lâm-chú khì-khài, tio̍h tī pài-la̍k lim kah chùi, in-ūi káⁿ lim tō sī chi̍t-chióng lâm-chú khì-khài.
Skipper kā lāu-bú kóng, i kam-goān sí mā m̄-chún chit-lō tāi-chì hoat-seng tī i. Ethel tiāⁿ-tiāⁿ tī àm-sî liu ji̍p-khì i ê pâng-keng, tó tī i sin-piⁿ, thiaⁿ i kóng i ê sim-su, i ê kám-sióng, hām i ê bāng-sióng.
I kah-ì ōe la̍h-pit. Yi koh bé chi̍t-thò chúi-chhat hō͘ i. Sui-bóng hō͘ Judd hiâm kah chhàu-sái, àm-sî i chóng-sī tī chàu-kha toh-á ōe-tô͘ ōe kúi-ā tiám-cheng. Tī yi hán-tit khì tìn-siōng ê sî, yi chóng-sī bé chheh hō͘ i. Thâu-khí-seng bé Hans Christian Andersen. Āu-lâi bé Robinson Cursoe, Iú-koái (Kidnapped), hām Kim-gîn Tó (Treasure Island). Yi chin hoaⁿ-hí khòaⁿ tio̍h i ê chéng-thâu-á jia̍t-chhiat iân-tio̍h chheh ia̍h teh tín-tāng.
Ethel tī Skipper sin-siōng khòaⁿ tio̍h ka-tī chòe-āu ê hi-bōng. I ê chiòng hiaⁿ-ko lóng tòe tio̍h lāu-sek, chân-khok ê bô͘-iūⁿ tit-tio̍h kiat-lūn. Kí-lē lâi kóng, Harold tī 15 hòe chhut-gia̍p tō ji̍p kang-tiûⁿ. Tī hia, o̍h ē-hiáu lim-chiú. Kàu 18 hòe ê sî, i kā chi̍t-ê ko͘-niû pìⁿ kah chhut būn-tê, soah tio̍h chhōa yi. Kàu i 22 hòe ê sî, i í-keng ū 4-ê gín-á. Ethel ê sin-pū kā yi kóng, taⁿ i tō chhiūⁿ in lāu-pē án-ne, pài-la̍k àm-mê lóng lim kah chùi bâng-bâng chiah tńg-chhù. Tùi kî-thaⁿ ê gín-á, yi mā lóng bat ū kòe koân koh súi ê kî-bōng, m̄-koh in lóng kap Harold kāng chi̍t-ê khoán. In lóng hām hiah-ê tòa kāng-chng, tī kang-tiûⁿ chò-kang ê cha-po͘-lâng kāng-khoán. Ethel tùi in ê ài, in-ūi sit-bōng hām siong-hāi, í-keng kian-tàng ah. Ū sî-chūn, siūⁿ tio̍h in án-ne tùi-thāi ka-tī ê sèⁿ-miā, yi chha-put-to kiông boeh oàn-hūn in.
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1. 伊定著會是一个紳士
Skipper 是 Ethel 和 Judd Syverson 五个囝上細彼个. 屘囝 Skipper 和 in 逐个兄哥仝款, 攏真驚 koh 真慼 in 老爸, 和 in 老母有一个無講出喙 ê 互相保護 ê 協議.
照伊家治講 ê, Judd 是一个苦命人. 逐禮拜 60 點鐘, 伊 tī 鋸材所做搬運, kō͘ 肩頭 ùi 鋸台搬去木材堆. 平日 ê 暗時, 伊 chiúⁿ tī 灶跤, 無攬無拈, 憂頭結面, 一直到九點才去睏. Tī 老爸面前, Skipper 激甲真正經, 袂輸面對生份人: 伊輕跤輕手, koh 真少講話. 和老母講話 ê 時, Skipper 稱呼伊 "Judd," 毋捌叫伊 "papa" a̍h "老爸." Judd 要求人對伊著尊敬 koh 服從, 毋過無按怎管 in 囝. 拜六暗時, Judd 和鋸材所其他工人仝款, 去鎮上, 到第二工早起兩三點才啉甲醉茫茫轉厝.
和酒伴做伙, Judd 通常活跳 koh 有氣勢. 毋過等伊酒醉轉厝, 伊 kàn-kiāu in 某, 講囡仔是她 ê, thōng 好 in 是貓仔囝, 通 kā 連石頭紩入布袋, 提去 tū 水. 有幾若改, 伊 kō͘ 拳頭母舂 Ethel, 閣有一改, kā 她踢甲跋倒, 彼時 Skipper 徛 tī 邊仔 teh 吱. 閣有濟濟改, tī 半暝, 伊 kā Skipper 搝落床, 用各種借口, kō͘ 牛皮帶 kā 伊 sut. Tī 這種時陣, 天氣若溫暖, Ethel tō chhōa Skipper 出去, tī 暗暝中相攬坐 tī 山邊, ná 看 in 兜, ná 等 Judd 睏去, 火氣 hoa 去.
Kō͘ 一種奇怪, 冷靜 ê 方式, Skipper 怨恨 in 老爸. 伊討厭 Judd kā 家治工作甲忝 oaiⁿ-oaiⁿ ê 工場. 伊怨慼來揣 in 老爸, kā 酒罐仔藏 tī 圍軀裙 ê hiah-ê 人. 猶有, tī 6 歲到 14 歲中間, 伊 bat 濟濟改向老母立誓, 講, 只要活 leh, 永遠伊 to 袂啉烈酒.
Ethel 養成 Skipper 個性中間 Judd 上看輕 ê 各方面. 猶是一个白毛囡仔 ê 時, 穿棉布短褲, polo shirts /siat.chuh/, Skipper 常在送她花束: 一把紫羅蘭 a̍h 一縛五月花 a̍h 雛菊. 她認為伊可愛, 有男子氣概. 她知 chiah-ê 禮物毋是當然; 在在予伊大感動, 袂輸彼是愛人 ê 禮物.
她鼓勵 Skipper 愛 káⁿ 眠夢. Tī 進前, 她 mā án-ne 鼓勵 in hiah-ê 兄哥. 她講, 大漢了後, 伊會做學院 ê 院長, 一个清醒 ê 人, 穿 shirts, 結 nekutái 去上班. 伊欲離開庄跤, 去遠遠 ê 所在, 當然老母 mā 欲綴伊去. 減采伊無變好額 -- 毋過伊定著會是一个紳士.
Skipper 用心聽所有她 kā 伊講 ê 代誌. 她是伊 ê 向導, mā 是伊 ê 避難所. Judd 看著伊 tī 她 ê 裙邊拑牢牢, tō 講伊是一个愛哭囡仔. Judd 粗殘斷定: 伊 ê 夢想攏是愚戇. 等 Skipper 大漢, 伊著親像 in 老爸, in 阿公進前所做 ê án-ne, 去工場做工. 伊會變成儼硬, 因為查埔人著儼硬才會得徛起. 伊若有男子氣概, 著 tī 拜六啉甲醉, 因為敢啉 tō 是一種男子氣概.
Skipper kā 老母講, 伊甘願死 mā 毋准 chit-lō 代誌發生 tī 伊. Ethel 定定 tī 暗時溜入去伊 ê 房間, 倒 tī 伊身邊, 聽伊講伊 ê 心思, 伊 ê 感想, 和伊 ê 夢想.
伊佮意畫蠟筆. 她 koh 買一套水漆予伊. 雖罔予 Judd 嫌甲臭屎, 暗時伊總是 tī 灶跤桌仔畫圖畫幾若點鐘. Tī 她罕得去鎮上 ê 時, 她總是買冊予伊. 頭起先買 Hans Christian Andersen. 後來買 Robinson Cursoe, 誘拐 (Kidnapped), 和金銀島 (Treasure Island). 她真歡喜看著伊 ê 指頭仔熱切沿著冊頁 teh 振動.
Ethel tī Skipper 身上看著家治最後 ê 希望. 伊 ê 眾兄哥攏綴著老式, 殘酷 ê 模樣得著結論. 舉例來講, Harold tī 15 歲出業 tō 入工場. Tī 遐, 學會曉啉酒. 到 18 歲 ê 時, 伊 kā 一个姑娘 pìⁿ 甲出問題, 煞著 chhōa 她. 到伊 22 歲 ê 時, 伊已經有 4 个囡仔. Ethel ê 新婦 kā 她講, 今伊 tō 像 in 老爸 án-ne, 拜六暗暝攏啉甲醉茫茫才轉厝. 對其他 ê 囡仔, 她 mā 攏 bat 有過懸 koh 媠 ê 期望, 毋過 in 攏 kap Harold 仝一个款. In 攏和 hiah-ê 蹛仝庄, tī 工場做工 ê 查埔人仝款. Ethel 對 in ê 愛, 因為失望和傷害, 已經堅凍 ah. 有時陣, 想著 in án-ne 對待家治 ê 性命, 她差不多強欲怨恨 in.
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1.
SKIPPER WAS THE YOUNGEST of the five sons of Ethel and Judd Syverson. As a small boy, Skipper, like each of his brothers before him, feared and hated his father and entered into a wordless pact of mutual defence with his mother.
Judd, as he himself said, was a hard man. For sixty hours in every week he carried deal at the saw mill, balancing the shoulder and bearing them from the trimmer saw to the lumber piles. Week-nights he lounged about the kitchen, sluggish and sullen, until nine o'clock, then went to bed. In his father's presence, Skipper adopted his formal manners, as though before a stranger: he walked softly and seldom spoke. In conversations with his mother, Skipper spoke of "Judd", never of "daddy" or "father". For his part, Judd demanded respect and obedience but otherwise left his son pretty much alone. On Saturday night, like almost all of the mill hands, Judd went to town and came home, violently drunk, at two or three o'clock the following morning.
When with his drinking companions, Judd was usually sportive and exuberant. But when he came home drunk, he cursed his wife, called the boys her brats and wished they were kittens so he could sew them in a sack weighed down with rocks and drown them. On several occasions he beat Ethel with his fists and once he kicked her and sent her sprawling while Skipper stood by, screaming. And many times he yanked Skipper out of bed in the dead of night and, on one pretext or another, flogged him with a cowhide strap. At such times, if the weather was warm, Ethel led Skipper out into the night where they sat, wrapped in one another's arms, on the hillside overlooking the house and certain that Judd's rage had been extinguished by sleep.
In a curiously dispassionate way, Skipper hated his father. He loathed the mill where Judd worked himself into dumb exhaustion. He detested the men who came for his father with rum bottles hidden under their overalls bibs. And, on numerous occasions between his sixth and his fourteenth year, he vowed to his mother that never, as long as he lived, would he taste strong drink.
Ethel fostered those aspects of Skipper's character which Judd most despised. While a white-haired little lad in cotton shorts and a polo shirt, Skipper often brought her bouquets: handfuls of violets or bunches of mayflowers or daisies. She thought him cute and manly. And she never took such gifts for granted; they touched her to the quick, like presents from a lover.
She encouraged Skipper to daydream. She had done this with his brothers before him. When he grew up, she said, he would be a dean, sober man who would wear a white shirt and necktie to work. He would go far away from the village and, of course, his mother would accompany him. Perhaps he would never become rich--but he would be a gentleman.
And Skipper listened attentively to all that she told him. She was his guide and his refuge. A snivelling brat, Judd called him when he saw him clinging to her skirts. His daydreams were foolishness, Judd asserted brutally. When Skipper grew up he would go into the mill, as his father and grandfather had done before him. He would become hard, because a man had to be hard to survive. And if there was any man in him, when Saturday came he would get drunk, because the ability to drink was one of the measures of a man.
Skipper told his mother that he would die rather than allow this to happen to him. Often, at night, Ethel slipped into his room and lay on the bed beside him, and listened to him whisper of his thoughts, feelings, and ambitions.
He liked to play with crayons. She bought him a water colour set. To Judd's vocal disgust, he spent many evening hours making pictures at the kitchen table. On her infrequent visits to town, she bought him books. First, Hans Christian Andersen. Later Robinson Crusoe, Kidnapped and Treasure Island. She rejoiced, watching him run his finger affectionately along the edges of the pages.
In Skipper, Ethel saw her last hope. His elder brothers had followed the old, brutal pattern to its conclusion. Harold, for example, had left school at fifteen to go into the mill. There, he had learned to drink. At eighteen he got a girl in trouble and had to marry her. By the time he was twenty-two he had four children. And Ethel's daughter-in-law told her that now every Saturday night he came home roaring drunk like his father. The others, for whom she had once had such high and splendid dreams, were replicas of Harold. They were no different from any of the men who worked in the mill and lived in the village. Ethel's love for them had been curdled by disappointment and hurt. Sometimes, thinking of what they had done with their lives, she almost hated them.
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