3. Che chiàⁿ-chiàⁿ ná chi̍t-chhut hì
Oh, che chiâⁿ bê-lâng! Yi chiâⁿ hiáng-siū! Yi chiâⁿ ài chē tī chia, án-ne khòaⁿ it-chhè! Che tō ná chi̍t-chhut hì. Che chiàⁿ-chiàⁿ ná chi̍t-chhut hì. Siáng ē-tàng siong-sìn, he pòe-kéng ê thiⁿ m̄-sī ōe khí-lih ê? M̄-koh, it-ti̍t kàu chi̍t-chiah chang-sek ê sió káu chin chong-giâm án-ne cháu kòe-lâi, koh bān-bān cháu khui, ná chhin-chhiūⁿ chi̍t-chiah "hì-hn̂g" ê káu, chi̍t-chiah hông chhī kòe io̍h-á ê káu, hit-sî Brill Sc chiah hoat-hiān, sī án-chóaⁿ it-chhè ē chiah-nī chhù-bī. Lâng-lâng lóng tī bú-tâi téng. Lâng-lâng m̄-nā sī koan-chiòng, m̄-nā teh khòaⁿ hì; lâng-lâng mā lóng teh piáu-ián. Sīm-chì yi mā ū yi ê kak-sek, ta̍k lé-pài-ji̍t lóng lâi. Jû-kó yi bô tī hia, tiāⁿ-tio̍h ū lâng ē chù-ì tio̍h; chóng-kóng, yi mā-sī kui-ê piáu-ián ê chi̍t pō͘-hūn. Chiâⁿ kî-koài, chá-chêng yi ná-ē bô án-ne siūⁿ tio̍h! M̄-koh, che ē-tàng soeh-bêng, sī án-chóaⁿ yi ta̍k lé-pài koat-tēng tī tú-hó sio-kāng ê sî-kan chhut-mn̂g -- án-ne chiah bē bē-hù ián-chhut -- che mā ē-tàng soeh-bêng, tng yi teh kā ha̍k-seng kái-soeh yi sī án-chóaⁿ tō͘-kòe lé-pài-ji̍t ē-po͘ ê sî, yi ū chi̍t-chióng chiaⁿ koài-kî, kiàn-siàu ê kám-kak. Bo̍k-koài ah! Brill Sc kiông boeh chhiò chhut-siaⁿ. Goân-lâi yi sī tī bú-tâi téng ah. Yi siūⁿ-khí hit-ê phòa-siùⁿ ê lāu sin-sū, ta̍k lé-pài 4-ê ē-po͘ yi tha̍k pò-chóa hō͘ i thiaⁿ, i tī hoe-hn̂g nih khùn. Yi í-keng chin koàn-sì mî chím-thâu téng ê hit-lia̍p hi-jio̍k ê thâu-khak, hit-tùi thap-thap ê ba̍k-chiu, khui-khui ê chhùi, koân koh lêng ê phīⁿ. Ká-sú i í-keng sí ah, yi ū khó-lêng kúi-ā lé-pài bē chù-ì tio̍h; yi mā bē kòa-ì he. M̄-koh, hut-jiân kan, i chai-iáⁿ, ūi i tha̍k pò-chóa ê lâng sī chi̍t-ê lú-ián-oân! "Lú ián-oân!" Lāu thâu-khak taⁿ khí-lâi; lāu ba̍k-chiu sih-tāng nn̄g-ê kng-tiám. "Chi̍t-ê lú ián-oân -- lí sī hoⁿh?" Iá Brill Sc kā pò-chóa chih chhun, bē-su he sī yi piáu-ián kak-sek ê kha-pún, khin-khin kóng: "Sī lah, góa chò ián-oân í-keng chin kú ah."
Ga̍k-tūi í-keng teh hioh chi̍t-khùn ah. Taⁿ in koh khai-sí ah. In teh ián-chàu ê sī un-loán, kng-liāng, m̄-koh koh ū tām-po̍h liâng-léng -- chi̍t-chióng siáⁿ-mi̍h, sī siáⁿ-mi̍h ah? -- m̄-sī pi-siong -- m̄-sī, m̄-sī pi-siong -- sī chi̍t-chióng hō͘ lí siūⁿ boeh chhiùⁿ-koa ê siáⁿ-mi̍h. Khek-tiāu giâ-koân, giâ-koân, kng-sòaⁿ chhia-iāⁿ; chāi Brill Sc khòaⁿ, kòe m̄-bián chi̍t-khùn-á, só͘-ū ê lâng, só͘-ū chò-tīn ê lâng, káⁿ tō boeh khai-sí chhiùⁿ-koa. Siàu-liân-ke, chhiò hai-hai chò-hóe kiâⁿ-tāng ê lâng, in káⁿ tō boeh khai-sí, cha-po͘ lâng ê siaⁿ, kian-koat koh ióng-kám, káⁿ ē chham ji̍p-lâi. Kàu hit-sî, yi mā boeh, yi mā boeh hām hiah-ê chē tī tn̂g-í ê lâng -- mā ē ka-ji̍p chò chi̍t-chióng phōaⁿ-chàu -- bó͘-chióng ê kē-im, bô khí-lo̍h, chiâⁿ hó-thiaⁿ -- kám-tōng lâng... Brill Sc ê ba̍k-chiu kâm ba̍k-sái, yi chhiò-chhiò khòaⁿ só͘-ū kî-thaⁿ chò-tīn ê lâng. Sī lah, lán liáu-kái, lán liáu-kái, yi án-ne siūⁿ -- sui-bóng yi mā m̄-chai, in liáu-kái ê sī siáⁿ-mi̍h.
Tú hó tī hit sî-chūn, chi̍t-ê siàu-liân-ke hām chi̍t-ê ko͘-niû kiâⁿ kòe-lâi, chē lo̍h tī tú-chiah hit-tùi lāu ang-bó͘ chē ê ūi. In chhēng kah sin siak-phāⁿ; in teh loân-ài. Lâm-lú chú-kak, tong-jiân, tú ùi lâm chú-kak in lāu-pē ê iû-théng (yacht) kòe-lâi. Brill Sc iáu-koh bô chhut-siaⁿ teh chhiùⁿ-koa, iáu-koh kòa hit-chióng chùn-tāng ê chhiò-bīn, yi chún-pī boeh kè-sio̍k thiaⁿ lo̍h-khì.
"Mài, chit-chūn bē-sái," ko͘-niû kóng. "Mài tī chia, góa m̄."
"Sī án-chóaⁿ lah? In-ūi í-á hit-thâu hit-ê sam-pat lāu chhâ-pê?" siàu-liân-ke mn̄g. "Yi tàu-té lâi chia boeh chhòng-siáⁿ -- kám ū lâng su-iàu yi? Yi ná m̄ kā yi he sam-pat lāu óaⁿ-kong lâu tī chhù?"
"He sī yi ê phôe-hiû, seⁿ-chò chiâⁿ chhiò-khoe," ko͘-niû chhiò kah kia̍k-kia̍k kiò. "He khòaⁿ tio̍h chiàⁿ-chiàⁿ chhiūⁿ soa-tn̂g-chìⁿ (fried whiting)."
"Oeh, lí kín cháu lah!" siàu-liân-ke siū-khì khin-siaⁿ kóng. Jiân-āu: "Hó bô lah, góa ê sió pó-pòe..."
"Mài, bē-sái tī chia," ko͘-niû kóng. "Iáu bē-sái."
Tī tńg-chhù ê sî, yi pêng-siông ē seng tī pháng-tiàm bé chi̍t-tè phang-bi̍t ke-nn̄g-ko. He sī yi ê lé-pài-ji̍t hiáng-siū. Ū-sî yi ê hit-tè ē ū chi̍t-lia̍p hēng-jîn, ū-sî tō bô. Che ū chin tōa ê chha-pia̍t. Lāi-té nā ū hēng-jîn, he tō ná-chhiūⁿ chah chi̍t-ê sió lé-bu̍t tńg chhù -- chi̍t-ê kiaⁿ-hí -- chi̍t-ê khó-lêng bē chhut-hiān ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Tī ū hēng-jîn ê lé-pài-ji̍t, yi kóaⁿ kín-kín, kō͘ iu-ngá ê hong-sek khiat-hóe hiâⁿ tê-kó͘.
M̄-koh, kin-á-ji̍t yi bô ji̍p-khì pháng-tiàm, tō peh lâu-thui chìn-ji̍p hit-keng àm-àm ê sió pâng-keng -- yi he ná óaⁿ-tû ê pâng-keng -- chē lo̍h tī he âng jiông-mo͘ téng. Yi tī hia chē kú-kú. Té phôe-hiû ê a̍p-á iáu tī bîn-chhn̂g téng. Yi kín-kín tháu-khui ām-niá kat; kín kah bô khòaⁿ tō kā khǹg ji̍p a̍p-á lāi. M̄-koh, tán yi kā kòa khàm khí-lih ê sî, yi kám-kak ū thiaⁿ tio̍h ū siáⁿ teh khàu.
--
3. 這正正 ná 一齣戲
Oh, 這誠迷人! 她誠享受! 她誠愛坐 tī chia, án-ne 看一切! 這 tō ná 一齣戲. 這正正 ná 一齣戲. Siáng 會當相信, he 背景 ê 天毋是畫起 lih ê? 毋過, 一直到一隻棕色 ê 小狗真莊嚴 án-ne 走過來, koh 慢慢走開, ná 親像一隻 "戲園" ê 狗, 一隻 hông 飼過藥仔 ê 狗, 彼時 Brill Sc 才發現, 是按怎一切會 chiah-nī 趣味. 人人 lóng tī 舞台頂. 人人毋但是觀眾, 毋但 teh 看戲; 人人 mā lóng teh 表演. 甚至她 mā 有她 ê 角色, 逐禮拜日 lóng 來. 如果她無 tī hia, 定著有人會注意著; 總講, 她 mā 是規个表演 ê 一部份. 誠奇怪, 早前她那會無 án-ne 想著! 毋過, 這會當說明, 是按怎她逐禮拜決定 tī 拄好相仝 ê 時間出門 -- án-ne 才袂袂赴演出 -- 這 mā 會當說明, 當她 teh kā 學生解說她是按怎度過禮拜日下晡 ê 時, 她有一種誠怪奇, 見笑 ê 感覺. 莫怪 ah! Brill Sc 強欲笑出聲. 原來她是 tī 舞台頂 ah. 她想起彼个破相 ê 老紳士, 逐禮拜 4 个下晡她讀報紙予伊聽, 伊 tī 花園 nih 睏. 她已經真慣勢棉枕頭頂 ê 彼粒虛弱 ê 頭殼, 彼對塌塌 ê 目睭, 開開 ê 喙, 懸 koh 稜 ê 鼻. 假使伊已經死 ah, 她有可能幾若禮拜袂注意著; 她 mā 袂掛意 he. 毋過, 忽然間, 伊知影, 為伊讀報紙 ê 人是一个女演員! "女演員!" 老頭殼 taⁿ 起來; 老目睭爍動兩个光點. "一个女演員 -- 你是 hoⁿh?" Iá Brill Sc kā 報紙摺伸, 袂輸彼是她表演角色 ê 跤本, 輕輕講: "是 lah, 我做演員已經真久 ah."
樂隊已經 teh 歇一睏 ah. 今 in koh 開始 ah. In teh 演奏 ê 是溫暖, 光亮, 毋過 koh 有淡薄涼冷 -- 一種啥物, 是啥物 ah? -- 毋是悲傷 -- 毋是, 毋是悲傷 -- 是一種予你想欲唱歌 ê 啥物. 曲調夯懸, 夯懸, 光線奢颺; 在 Brill Sc 看, 過毋免一睏仔, 所有 ê 人, 所有做陣 ê 人, káⁿ tō 欲開始唱歌. 少年家, 笑 hai-hai 做伙 kiâⁿ 動 ê 人, in káⁿ tō 欲開始, 查埔人 ê 聲, 堅決 koh 勇敢, káⁿ 會參入來. 到彼時, 她 mā 欲, 她 mā 欲和 hiah-ê 坐 tī 長椅 ê 人 -- mā 會加入做一種伴奏 -- 某種 ê 低音, 無起落, 誠好聽 -- 感動人... Brill Sc ê 目睭含目屎, 她笑笑看所有其他做陣 ê 人. 是 lah, 咱了解, 咱了解, 她 án-ne 想 -- 雖罔她 mā 毋知, in 了解 ê 是啥物.
拄好 tī 彼時陣, 一个少年家和一个姑娘行過來, 坐落 tī 拄才彼對老翁某坐 ê 位. In 穿甲真 siak-phāⁿ; in teh 戀愛. 男女主角, 當然, 拄 ùi 男主角 in 老爸 ê 遊艇 (yacht) 過來. Brill Sc 猶閣無出聲 teh 唱歌, 猶閣掛彼種顫動 ê 笑面, 她準備欲繼續聽落去.
"莫, 這陣袂使," 姑娘講. "莫 tī chia, 我毋."
"是按怎 lah? 因為椅仔彼頭彼个三八老柴耙?" 少年家問. "她到底來 chia 欲創啥 -- 敢有人需要她? 她那毋 kā 她 he 三八老碗公留 tī 厝?"
"彼是她 ê 皮裘, 生做誠笑詼," 姑娘笑甲 kia̍k-kia̍k 叫. "he 看著正正像沙腸糋 (fried whiting)."
"Oeh, 你緊走 lah!" 少年家受氣輕聲講. 然後: "好無 lah, 我 ê 小寶貝..."
"莫, 袂使 tī chia," 姑娘講. "猶袂使."
Tī 轉厝 ê 時, 她平常會先 tī pháng 店買一塊蜂蜜雞卵糕. 彼是她 ê 禮拜日享受. 有時她 ê 彼塊會有一粒杏仁, 有時 tō 無. 這有真大 ê 差別. 內底若有杏仁, 彼 tō ná 像扎一个小禮物轉厝 -- 一个驚喜 -- 一个可能袂出現 ê 物件. Tī 有杏仁 ê 禮拜日, 她趕緊緊, kō͘ 優雅 ê 方式 khiat 火燃茶鈷.
毋過, 今仔日她無入去 pháng 店, tō peh 樓梯進入彼間暗暗 ê 小房間 -- 她 he ná 碗櫥 ê 房間 -- 坐落 tī he 紅絨毛頂. 她 tī hia 坐久久. 貯皮裘 ê 盒仔猶 tī 眠床頂. 她緊緊敨開頷領結; 緊甲無看 tō kā 囥入盒仔內. 毋過, 等她 kā 蓋崁起 lih ê 時, 她感覺有聽著有啥 teh 哭.
--
3.
Oh, how fascinating it was! How she enjoyed it! How she loved sitting here, watching it all! It was like a play. It was exactly like a play. Who could believe the sky at the back wasn't painted? But it wasn't till a little brown dog trotted on solemn and then slowly trotted off, like a little "theatre" dog, a little dog that had been drugged, that Miss Brill discovered what it was that made it so exciting. They were all on the stage. They weren't only the audience, not only looking on; they were acting. Even she had a part and came every Sunday. No doubt somebody would have noticed if she hadn't been there; she was part of the performance after all. How strange she'd never thought of it like that before! And yet it explained why she made such a point of starting from home at just the same time each week - so as not to be late for the performance - and it also explained why she had quite a queer, shy feeling at telling her English pupils how she spent her Sunday afternoons. No wonder! Miss Brill nearly laughed out loud. She was on the stage. She thought of the old invalid gentleman to whom she read the newspaper four afternoons a week while he slept in the garden. She had got quite used to the frail head on the cotton pillow, the hollowed eyes, the open mouth and the high pinched nose. If he'd been dead she mightn't have noticed for weeks; she wouldn't have minded. But suddenly he knew he was having the paper read to him by an actress! "An actress!" The old head lifted; two points of light quivered in the old eyes. "An actress - are ye?" And Miss Brill smoothed the newspaper as though it were the manuscript of her part and said gently; "Yes, I have been an actress for a long time."
The band had been having a rest. Now they started again. And what they played was warm, sunny, yet there was just a faint chill - a something, what was it? - not sadness - no, not sadness - a something that made you want to sing. The tune lifted, lifted, the light shone; and it seemed to Miss Brill that in another moment all of them, all the whole company, would begin singing. The young ones, the laughing ones who were moving together, they would begin, and the men's voices, very resolute and brave, would join them. And then she too, she too, and the others on the benches - they would come in with a kind of accompaniment - something low, that scarcely rose or fell, something so beautiful - moving ... And Miss Brill's eyes filled with tears and she looked smiling at all the other members of the company. Yes, we understand, we understand, she thought - though what they understood she didn't know.
Just at that moment a boy and girl came and sat down where the old couple had been. They were beautifully dressed; they were in love. The hero and heroine, of course, just arrived from his father's yacht. And still soundlessly singing, still with that trembling smile, Miss Brill prepared to listen.
"No, not now," said the girl. "Not here, I can't."
"But why? Because of that stupid old thing at the end there?" asked the boy. "Why does she come here at all - who wants her? Why doesn't she keep her silly old mug at home?"
"It's her fu-ur which is so funny," giggled the girl. "It's exactly like a fried whiting."
"Ah, be off with you!" said the boy in an angry whisper. Then: "Tell me, ma petite chere--"
"No, not here," said the girl. "Not yet."
On her way home she usually bought a slice of honey-cake at the baker's. It was her Sunday treat. Sometimes there was an almond in her slice, sometimes not. It made a great difference. If there was an almond it was like carrying home a tiny present - a surprise - something that might very well not have been there. She hurried on the almond Sundays and struck the match for the kettle in quite a dashing way.
But to-day she passed the baker's by, climbed the stairs, went into the little dark room - her room like a cupboard - and sat down on the red eiderdown. She sat there for a long time. The box that the fur came out of was on the bed. She unclasped the necklet quickly; quickly, without looking, laid it inside. But when she put the lid on she thought she heard something crying.
--
// 2022-7-1
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