2. Lí ná it-ti̍t mn̄g góa?
Carole chia̍h-pá, chhan-pôaⁿ siu cháu, oshibóri sàng lâi ê sî, hit-lâng kóng: "Lí tài-té sī siáⁿ? Goán bó͘ hām góa lóng chiâⁿ hòⁿ-kî."
Carole ba̍k-chiu nih-ah-nih, khòaⁿ hit-lâng thàu-bêng ê nâ ba̍k-chiu, jiân-āu thâu-khak lê loeh.
"Lí ê ì-sù sī siáⁿ?" yi kóng.
"Lí chai lah, lí sī siáⁿ? Siáⁿ-mih chéng-cho̍k?"
Carole ê chhùi bih chi̍t-ē. Chéng-cho̍k? He sī siáⁿ? Yi bē liáu-kái. M̄-koh, yi kám-kak, chit-ê lâng teh mn̄g chi̍t-ê bái būn-tê. He bē-su i sī teh mn̄g a-cha ê tāi-chì, a̍h sī teh kha̍p yi thiàⁿ ê ūi. Yi hi-bāng yin Mă hām Pă ū tī chia. In chai-iáⁿ "chéng-cho̍k" ê ì-sù.
"Lí hit-ê pò͘-ang-á sī o͘-sek ê," Henry Norton kóng. "He sī chi̍t-ê O͘-lâng pò͘-ang-á. He tō sī chéng-cho̍k. O͘-lâng. Lí ê chéng-cho̍k sī siáⁿ?"
Chit-ê būn-tê iáu sī hō͘ yi bē bêng-pe̍k.
"Án-ne kóng lâi," hit-lâng kóng. "Lín lāu-pē sī siáⁿ?"
Chit-ê būn-tê hō͘ yi koh-khah hô͘-tô͘. Yin lāu-pē sī siáⁿ? I sī yin Pă!
I sī yin Pă, ta̍k lé-pài-ji̍t i ūi kui ke-hóe chian phòng-piáⁿ, hō͘ Carole tī téng-bīn thîn sio thn̂g-chiuⁿ, jiân-āu phō yi tī i tōa-thúi, koh kóng kó͘ hō͘ yi thiaⁿ.
Norton Tt àⁿ hiòng Carole. "Ká-sú lí ū chi̍t-pún chhat-sek ê chheh. Lí ē kā lín Pă chhat siáⁿ-mih sek?"
"Góa chiông-lâi iōng put-chí chi̍t-ê sek." "Hó. Lí ē kā i ê bīn chhat siáⁿ sek?"
"Chang-sek."
"Lín lāu-bú neh?"
Carole sim-lāi siūⁿ chi̍t-tiuⁿ pe̍h-chóa. Yi ē tī lāu-bú ê bīn khǹg siáⁿ sek? Yi tio̍h kā chhat chi̍t-ê sek. Yi bē-sái kā khàng-pe̍h.
"Góa m̄-chai neh."
"Tong-jiân lí chai lah," Norton Tt kóng. "Lí ē án-chóaⁿ chhat lín lāu-bú ê bīn?"
"N̂g-sek."
Carloe khòaⁿ tio̍h Norton Ss hām Tt sio tùi-khòaⁿ.
"Lín lāu-bú sī Tiong-kok lâng bô? Norton Tt mn̄g.
"M̄-sī."
"Lí khak-tēng lí ē kā chhat n̂g-sek?"
"Bô."
"Lí ū khó-lêng koh án-chóaⁿ kā chhat?"
Koh án-chóaⁿ chhat? Carole kiàn-siàu ka-tī chiah gōng. Chi̍t-tih ba̍k-sái lâu kàu yi chhùi-phé. "Âng-sek," chòe-āu yi án-ne kóng.
"Âng-sek! Lí bē-sái kā bīn chhat âng-sek ê! Lín lāu-bú sī pe̍h ê bô? Yi ê bīn! He sī-m̄-sī hām góa ê kāng-sek?"
"Sī."
"Iá lín lāu-pē sī chang-sek ê?"
Carole tìm-thâu.
"Lí kóng chang-sek, lí ê ì-sù sī kóng, i sī O͘-lâng?"
"Sī." Yin lāu-pē tong-jiân sī O͘-lâng. Norton Tt chi̍t-lō͘ siūⁿ boeh chai yin lāu-pē sī-m̄-sī O͘-lâng, yi ná m̄ ti̍t-chiap án-ne mn̄g?
"Nā án-ne, lí sī lām-hoeh ê?" Norton Tt kóng. "Lí sī chi̍t-ê mulatto*!" [*o͘-lâng hām pe̍h-lâng lām-hoeh ê gín-á]
Carloe ê chhùi-tûn teh chùn. Siáⁿ sī mulatto? In ná it-ti̍t mn̄g yi sī siáⁿ? Yi siáⁿ mā m̄-sī!
"Án-ne tio̍h bô? Lí sī chi̍t-ê mulatto? Lí chai siáⁿ sī mulatto, kám m̄-sī? Lín pē-bú kám bô kà lí hit-ê sû?"
Sak chi̍t-chhia kó-chiap kòe-lâi, khong-chiá khòaⁿ ǹg Carloe, tùi yi bî-chhiò. Che hō͘ yi tōa-tōa ê ióng-khì.
"Mài tîⁿ góa!" yi tùi Norton Tt tōa-siaⁿ kiò.
Sêng-kheh kim-kim khòaⁿ. Khong-chiá lòng tó chi̍t-poe kó-chiap. Norton Tt tōa-la̍t chē hó tī yi ê í-á, yi ê chhiú gia̍h khí-lâi, chéng-thâu-á tián-khui. Carole khòaⁿ tio̍h lâng-lâng teh khòaⁿ.
"Lí ná it-ti̍t mn̄g góa, goán Pă sī O͘-lâng bô? Sī, i sī O͘-lâng! Oke? OKE? O͘-lâng O͘-lâng O͘-lâng!"
"Léng-chēng," Norton Tt kóng, ná chhun-chhiú kòe.
"Mài kha̍p yi," khong-chiá kóng.
"Chiah-ê lâng sī siáng ah?" keh kòe-tō hit-pêng ū-lâng kóng. "Siūⁿ khòaⁿ-māi, án-ne tùi gín-á kóng-ōe, koh sī tī 1970 nî!"
Chē tī Carole thâu-chêng ê chi̍t-ê cha-bó͘ khiā khí-lâi, oa̍t-sin.
"Lí boeh lâi hām góa chò-hóe chē bô, sió ko͘-niû?"
"Boaih!" Carole hoah. "Góa bô-ài it-chhè chiah-ê būn-tê. Yi it-ti̍t mn̄g, tī chhat-sek chheh góa ē án-chóaⁿ kā goán pē-bú chhat-sek! Lí ná it-ti̍t mn̄g góa he?"
Norton Tt khún-kiû Carole thêng lo̍h-lâi.
"He nā hoat-seng tī lí, lí ē án-chóaⁿ siūⁿ?" Carole kóng.
"Só͘-í, lí tàu-té sī siáⁿ? Lín pē-bú sī siáⁿ? Lí ē án-chóaⁿ kā in chhat-sek? Hmh, góa bē kòa-ì! Góa liân kòa-ì to bē!"
"Lí kám boeh lâi hām góa chē chò-hóe?" khong-chiá chhiò-chhiò kóng. "Góa ē khoán chi̍t-poe te̍k-pia̍t ê ím-liāu hō͘ lí. Lí kám bat lim kòe Shirley Temple*?" [* Chi̍t-chióng bô chiú-cheng ê ke-bóe-chiú]
Carole liân-sòa tìm-thâu. Yi í-keng kám-kak khah hó ah. Lia̍h tiâu Amy, yi sóa kòe Norton ang-á-bó͘, in kiu-kha niū yi kòe.
"Thiⁿ-kong ah," Carole thiaⁿ tio̍h Norton Tt kā yin ang kóng, "kóng tio̍h bín-kám ê ōe-tê."
--
2. 你 ná 一直問我?
Carole 食飽, 餐盤收走, oshibóri 送來 ê 時, 彼人講: "你到底是啥? 阮某和我 lóng 誠好奇."
Carole 目睭 nih-ah-nih, 看彼人透明 ê 藍目睭, 然後頭殼犁 loeh.
"你 ê 意思是啥?" 她講.
"你知 lah, 你是啥? 啥物種族?"
Carole ê 喙 bih 一下. 種族? 彼是啥? 她袂了解. 毋過, 她感覺, 這个人 teh 問一个䆀問題. 彼袂輸伊是 teh 問 a-cha ê 代誌, a̍h 是 teh 磕她疼 ê 位. 她希望姻 Mă 和 Pă 有 tī chia. In 知影 "種族" ê 意思.
"你彼个布尪仔是烏色 ê," Henry Norton 講. "彼是一个烏人布尪仔. 彼 tō 是種族. 烏人. 你 ê 種族是啥?"
這个問題猶是 hō͘ 她袂明白.
"Án-ne 講來," 彼人講. "恁老爸是啥?"
這个問題 hō͘ 她閣較糊塗. 姻老爸是啥? 伊是姻 Pă!
伊是姻 Pă, 逐禮拜日伊為規家伙煎膨餅, hō͘ Carole tī 頂面斟燒糖漿, 然後抱她 tī 伊大腿, koh 講古 hō͘ 她聽.
Norton Tt àⁿ 向 Carole. "假使你有一本擦色 ê 冊. 你會 kā 恁 Pă 擦啥物色?"
"我從來用不只一个色." "好. 你會 kā 伊 ê 面擦啥色?"
"棕色."
"恁老母 neh?"
Carole 心內想一張白紙. 她會 tī 老母 ê 面囥啥色? 她著 kā 擦一个色. 她袂使 kā 空白.
"我毋知 neh."
"當然你知 lah," Norton Tt 講. "你會按怎擦恁老母 ê 面?"
"黃色."
Carloe 看著 Norton Ss 和 Tt 相對看.
"恁老母是中國人無? Norton Tt 問.
"毋是."
"你確定你會 kā 擦黃色?"
"無."
"你有可能 koh 按怎 kā 擦?"
Koh 按怎擦? Carole 見笑家己 chiah 戇. 一滴目屎流到她喙䫌. "紅色," 最後她 án-ne 講.
"紅色! 你袂使 kā 面擦紅色 ê! 恁老母是白 ê 無? 她 ê 面! 彼是毋是和我 ê 仝色?"
"Sī."
"Iá 恁老爸是棕色 ê?"
Carole 頕頭.
"你講棕色, 你 ê 意思是講, 伊是烏人?"
"是." 姻老爸當然是烏人. Norton Tt 一路想欲知姻老爸是毋是烏人, 她那毋直接 án-ne 問?
"若 án-ne, 你是濫血 ê?" Norton Tt 講. "你是一个 mulatto*!" [* 烏人和白人濫血 ê 囡仔]
Carloe ê 喙唇 teh 顫. 啥是 mulatto? In ná 一直問她是啥? 她啥 mā 毋是!
"Án-ne 著無? 你是一个 mulatto? 你知啥是 mulatto, 敢毋是? 恁爸母敢無教你彼个詞?"
捒一車果汁過來, 空姐看 ǹg Carloe, tùi 她微笑. 這 hō͘ 她大大 ê 勇氣.
"莫纏我!" 她 tùi Norton Tt 大聲叫.
乘客金金看. 空姐挵倒一杯果汁. Norton Tt 大力坐好 tī 她 ê 椅仔, 她 ê 手攑起來, 指頭仔展開. Carole 看著人人 teh 看.
"你 ná 一直問我, 阮 Pă 是烏人無? 是, 伊是烏人! Oke? OKE? 烏人烏人烏人!"
"冷靜," Norton Tt 講, ná 伸手過.
"莫磕她," 空姐講.
"Chiah-ê 人是 siáng ah?" 隔過道彼爿有人講. "想看覓, án-ne tùi 囡仔講話, koh 是 tī 1970 年!"
坐 tī Carole 頭前 ê 一个查某徛起來, 越身.
"你欲來和我做伙坐無, 小姑娘?"
"Boaih!" Carole 喝. "我無愛一切 chiah-ê 問題. 她一直問, tī 擦色冊我會按怎 kā 阮爸母擦色! 你 ná 一直問我 he?"
Norton Tt 懇求 Carole 停落來.
"彼若發生 tī 你, 你會按怎想?" Carole 講.
"所以, 你到底是啥? 恁爸母是啥? 你會按怎 kā in 擦色? Hmh, 我袂掛意! 我連掛意 to 袂!"
"你敢欲來和我坐做伙?" 空姐笑笑講. "我會款一杯特別 ê 飲料 hō͘ 你. 你敢 bat 啉過 Shirley Temple*?" [* 一種無酒精 ê 雞尾酒]
Carole 連紲頕頭. 她已經感覺較好 ah. 掠牢 Amy, 她徙過 Norton 翁仔某, in 勼跤讓她過.
"天公 ah," Carole 聽著 Norton Tt kā 姻翁講, "講著敏感 ê 話題."
--
2.
After Carole has eaten and had her tray taken and had been served a hot face towel, the man says: “What are you, anyway? My wife and I were wondering.”
Carole blinks, sees the man’s clear blue eyes and drops her head.
“What do you mean?” she says.
“You know, what are you? What race?”
Carole’s mouth drops. Race? What is that? She doesn’t understand. Yet she senses that the man is asking a bad question. It is as if he is asking her something dirty, or touching her in a bad place. She wishes her Mom and Dad were there. They could tell what “race” meant.
“That doll of yours is black,” Henry Norton says. “That’s a Negro doll. That’s race. Negro. What’s your race?”
The question still confuses her.
“Put it this way,” the man says. “What is your father?”
The question baffles her. What is her father? He is her Dad!
He is her Dad and every Sunday morning he makes pancakes for the whole family and lets Carole pour hot syrup on them and afterwards he sits her on his lap and tells stories.
Mrs. Norton leans towards Carole. “Say you had a colouring book. What colour would you make your Dad?”
“I never use just one colour.” “Okay. What colour would you make his face?”
“Brown.”
“And your mother?”
Carole imagines a blank page. What would she put in her mother’s face? She has to put something in there. She can’t leave it blank.
“I don’t know.”
“Sure you do,” Mrs. Norton says. "How would you colour your mother’s face?”
“Yellow.”
Carole sees Mr. and Mrs. Norton look at each other.
“Is your mother Chinese?” Mrs. Norton asks.
“No.”
“Are you sure you’d colour her yellow?”
“No.”
“What else might you colour her?”
What else? Carole feels ashamed at her stupidity. A tear races down her cheek. “Red,” she says finally.
“Red! You can’t colour a face red! Is your mother white? Is she like me? Her face! Is it the same colour as mine?”
“Yes.”
“And your father’s brown?”
Carole nods.
“When you say brown, do you mean he is a Negro?”
“Yes.” Of course her father is a Negro. If Mrs. Norton wanted to know all along if her Dad was a Negro, why didn’t she just ask?
“So you’re mixed?” Mrs. Norton says. “You’re a mulatto!”
Carole’s lip quivers. What is a mulatto? Why do they keep asking her what she is? She isn’t anything!
“So is that it? You’re a mulatto? You know what a mulatto is, don’t you? Haven’t your parents taught you that word?”
Approaching with a cart of juice, the stewardess looks up and smiles at Carole. That gives her a rush of courage.
“Leave me alone!” she screams at Mrs. Norton.
Passengers stare. The stewardess spills a drink. Mrs. Norton sits back hard in her seat, her hands raised, fingers spread. Carole sees people watching.
“Why do you keep asking me if my Dad is Negro? Yes, he’s Negro! Okay? OKAY? Negro Negro Negro!”
“Calm down,” Mrs. Norton says, reaching over.
“Don’t touch her,” the stewardess says.
“Who are these people?” someone says from across the aisle. “Imagine, talking to a child like that, and in 1970!”
One woman sitting in front of Carole stands up and turns around.
“Would you like to come and sit with me, little girl?”
“No!” Carole shouts. “I don’t like all these questions. She keeps asking me how I would colour my parents in a colouring book! Why do you keep asking me that?”
Mrs. Norton pleads with Carole to stop.
“How would you like it if that happened to you?” Carole says.
“So what are you, anyway? What are your parents? How would you colour them? Well, I don’t care! I don’t even care!”
“How would you like to come and sit with me?” the stewardess says smiling. “I’ll make you a special drink. Have you ever had a Shirley Temple?”
Carole nods enthusiastically. Already she feels better. Clutching Amy, she passes by the Nortons, who swing their legs to let her out.
“My God,” Carole hears Mrs. Norton tell her husband, “talk about sensitive.”
--
// 2022-8-7
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