5. Ká-ná yi sái kui-ji̍t ê chhia
Sió-mōe kap góa kòe-khì ū khah hó ê ji̍t-chí. Chit-hāng tāi-chì siang-seⁿ-á gián-kiù-oân bē kā goán mn̄g, sui-bóng in mn̄g goán chin chē tāi-chì -- goán ê si̍p-koàn, sim-lí chōng-thài, ài-chêng, kap siu-ji̍p -- in mā kā goán thiu-hoeh, niû goán ê náu-pho, téng-téng. M̄-koh, in bô mn̄g tâng-chê khòaⁿ chá-khí-sî ê manga, tī kāng-khoán só͘-chāi chhiò, a̍h kín-kín cháu kòe goán chhù āu-piah ê chhiūⁿ-chhiū kha, a̍h iáu-sī sè-hàn chă-gín-á ê sî chham-ka chúi-siōng balet-bú ê oân-bí it-tì tōng-chok. In mā bô mn̄g, ùi ka-tī ê siang-têng hêng-siōng chhéⁿ lâi, hoat-hiān nn̄g-lâng tú-tú kāng-khoán bîn-bāng tio̍h tōa-hái thun-chia̍h hái-hōaⁿ hit-sî ê kám-kak sī sáⁿ-khoán. In bô mn̄g goán ê chhin-bi̍t koan-hē, hit-chióng oh-tit siong-sìn, khó-phà ê chhin-bi̍t koan-hē. A̍h-sī, hit-chióng sit-khì koan-hē ê kám-kak sī sáⁿ-khoán.
- - -
Góa kám-kak sim bē pêng-chēng, tō lo̍h-lâu khì hām kî-thaⁿ ê siang-seⁿ-á tī tōa-thiaⁿ lin-long se̍h. Lóng bô khòaⁿ-e Samantha. Niau-ông hām i hit-ê m̄-sī niau-ông ê siang-seⁿ-á chē tī phòng-í hian chi̍t-pún siòng-phō͘. Góa ê pak-tó͘ tuh-tuh, góa tō khì pa-tâi tiám chi̍t-poe gû-leng.
Chiú-pó seⁿ-chò phòng-phôe, m̄-koh chin hó-khòaⁿ, sī chi̍t-ê chia̍h siuⁿ chē ê chng-kha ko͘-niû, chhēng chi̍t-niá poliester kah-á. Yi ìn góa kóng "Sáⁿ-mih?"
"Gû-leng."
"Sáⁿ-mih?"
"Gû-leng."
Goán án-ne lâi-lâi khì-khì kóng tāi-khài sì piàn, āu-lâi góa pó͘-chhiong kóng, "Ùi leng-gû lâi ê leng." Gián-kiù jîn-oân mā bē mn̄g chit-khoán būn-tê: Lí kóng-ōe, pa̍t-lâng thiaⁿ ū bô? Chiú-pó kă kóng, góa tio̍h khì kapi thiaⁿ chhì khòaⁿ-māi. Góa bô khì, góa kiâⁿ chhut lí-koán, lâi kàu khòng-khoah ê mn̂g-kháu -- tī tōa-hêng konkuli ji̍t-jia ē-bīn ê chi̍t-tiâu khan-tòa ê jîn-hêng-tō. Samantha tú-hó tī hia, chē tī chi̍t-tâi phah khang-sok ê Impala lāi-bīn, he sī chi̍t-tâi 60 nî-tāi siuⁿ-á-hêng ê chhia. Yi ná teh pok-hun, mā teh pō͘ chhiū-leng-thn̂g. Yi ê thâu-mo͘ siám kim-n̂g, koh kat kui-khiû, ká-ná yi sái kui-ji̍t ê chhia. Góa siūⁿ yi sī teh tán góa. Yi sái kòe-lâi, phah-khui sêng-kheh-chō ê mn̂g.
"Ji̍p-lâi."
Góa chiūⁿ-chhia, yi kā chhia ji̍p gí-á. Tō sī án-ne niâ -- ta̍h lī lō͘, peh chhiūⁿ chhia, goán nn̄g-lâng iū-koh chò-hóe.
"Lí kám chai, góa bē liáu-kái ê sī sáⁿ?"
Bián chio-ho͘, bián kóng kòe-óng. Chóng-sī chit-lō khoán.
"Góa bē liáu-kái, ná ē bô kià-khǹg thióng-bu̍t ê só͘-chāi." Yi kā thang-á pàng lo̍h, chhiú chhun chhut-khì. "Án-ne, lâng-kheh tō m̄-bián koán-kò͘ ka-tī ê thióng-bu̍t. Lán kan-ta kau-chîⁿ, tō ē-sái kā káu pàng-ji̍p chi̍t-ê mn̂g-tiâⁿ, khì hām chē-chē súi koh phòng ê kim-mo͘ la̍h-káu, ian-chhiâng káu-á-kiáⁿ téng-téng chò-hóe."
"Tio̍h ài ū-lâng hū-chek chheng káu-sái," góa kóng.
"M̄-sī góa, góa ū la̍p-chîⁿ."
Góa siūⁿ chi̍t-ē. "He si̍t-chāi mā sī bē-bái ê siūⁿ-hoat. Mā ē-sái siat chi̍t-ê niau-á khu."
*
5. Ká-ná 她駛規日 ê 車
小妹 kap 我過去有較好 ê 日子. 這項代誌雙生仔研究員袂 kā 阮問, 雖罔 in 問阮真濟代誌 -- 阮 ê 習慣, 心理狀態, 愛情, kap 收入 -- in mā kā 阮抽血, 量阮 ê 腦波, 等等. M̄-koh, in 無問同齊看早起時 ê manga, tī 仝款所在笑, a̍h 緊緊走過阮厝後壁 ê 橡樹跤, a̍h 猶是細漢 chă 囡仔 ê 時參加水上 balet 舞 ê 完美一致動作. In mā 無問, ùi ka-tī ê 雙重形象醒來, 發現兩人拄拄仝款眠夢著大海吞食海岸彼時 ê 感覺是啥款. In 無問阮 ê 親密關係, 彼種僫得相信, 可怕 ê 親密關係. A̍h 是, 彼種失去關係 ê 感覺是啥款.
- - -
我感覺心袂平靜, tō 落樓去和其他 ê 雙生仔 tī 大廳 lin-long 踅. Lóng 無看 e Samantha. 貓王和伊彼个毋是貓王 ê 雙生仔坐 tī 膨椅掀一本相簿. 我 ê 腹肚 tuh-tuh, 我 tō 去吧台點一杯牛奶.
酒保生做膨皮, m̄-koh 真好看, 是一个食 siuⁿ 濟 ê 庄跤姑娘, 穿一領 poliester 䘥仔. 她應我講 "啥物?"
"牛奶."
"啥物?"
"牛奶."
阮 án-ne 來來去去講大概四遍, 後來我補充講, "Ùi 奶牛來 ê 奶." 研究人員 mā 袂問這款問題: 你講話, 別人聽有無? 酒保 kă 講, 我著去 kapi 廳試看覓. 我無去, 我行出旅館, 來到曠闊 ê 門口 -- tī 大型 konkuli 日遮下面 ê 一條牽帶 ê 人行道. Samantha 拄好 tī hia, 坐 tī 一台拍空速 ê Impala 內面, 彼是一台 60 年代箱仔型 ê 車. 她 ná teh 噗薰, mā teh 哺樹奶糖. 她 ê 頭毛閃金黃, koh 結規 khiû, ká-ná 她駛規日 ê 車. 我想她是 teh 等我. 她駛過來, 拍開乘客座 ê 門.
"入來."
我上車, 她 kā 車入 gí-á. Tō 是 án-ne niâ -- 踏離路, peh 上車, 阮兩人又 koh 做伙.
"你敢知, 我袂了解 ê 是啥?"
免招呼, 免講過往. 總是 chit-lō 款.
"我袂了解, 那會無寄囥寵物 ê 所在." 她 kā 窗仔放落, 手伸出去. "Án-ne, 人客 tō 毋免管顧 ka-tī ê 寵物. 咱干焦交錢, tō 會使 kā 狗放入一个門埕, 去和濟濟媠 koh 膨 ê 金毛獵狗, 煙腸狗仔囝等等做伙."
"著愛有人負責清狗屎," 我講.
"毋是我, 我有納錢."
我想一下. "彼實在 mā 是袂䆀 ê 想法. Mā 會使設一个貓仔區."
*
5.
My sister and I used to have better days. That's one thing the twin researchers don't ask us about, though they ask us about many things -- our habits, states of mind, loves, and incomes -- and they take our blood and measure our brainwaves and so forth. But they don't ask about watching early morning cartoons together, laughing at all the same parts, or running apace through the oaks behind our house, or the perfectly synchronized water ballet routines we made up as little girls. They don't ask what it's like to wake up to one's own double image, realizing you've both just had the same dream about the ocean swallowing the shoreline. They don't ask about the intimacy, the incredible, terrifying intimacy. Or what it's like when it's gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
I feel restless, so I go down to mill about with the other twins in the lobby. Samantha is nowhere in sight. The Elvis and his non-Elvis twin are sitting on a couch, leafing through a photo album. My stomach is bothering me, so I go to the bar and order a glass of milk.
The bartender is puffy but pretty, an overfed farm girl in a polyester vest. She answers me with a "What?"
"Milk."
"What?"
"Milk."
We go back and forth about four times before I add, "It comes from cows." The researchers don't ask about this either. Do people understand you when you speak? The bartender tells me that I'll have to try the coffee shop. Instead, I wander out of the hotel, to the cavernous entryway -- a ribbon of sidewalk crouching under a huge concrete awning. And there is Samantha, sitting in an idling Impala, a boxy number from the sixties. She's smoking a cigarette and chewing gum, her hair streaked blond and clumped, like she's been driving all day. I guess she's been waiting for me. She slides over and opens the passenger door.
"Come on."
I get in and she puts the car in gear. That's all it takes -- just stepping off the curb, into a car, and it's the two of us once again.
"You know what I don't get?"
No hellos, no catching up. It's always like this.
"I don't get why there are no dog petting zoos." She rolls down the window and lets her arm hang out. "Then nobody would have to be responsible for one full time. We could just pay our money and go into a yard full of really nice, fluffy golden retrievers and dachshund puppies or whatever."
"Someone would have to clean up all the shit," I say.
"Not me. I paid my money."
I think about it. "That's actually kind of a good idea. There could be a cat section too."
*
No comments:
Post a Comment