⑬. 你那毋做阮後母?

13. Lí ná m̄-chò goán āu-bú?

I thâu taⁿ khí-lâi. "Chiâⁿ hó. Yi nā thiàu lo̍h toān-gâi, lí ē tòe bô?"

Jason ê thâu tìm-ah-tìm. "Hoān-sè."

"Súi lah. Góa boeh lo̍h-chúi loh." Ivan bān-pō͘ kiâⁿ khui, liâu lo̍h chúi-tî, cha̍p-chì the̍h pí io khah koân. 

I lī-khui liáu, Samantha oa̍t ǹg góa, siang-chhiú thia̍p tī yi ê kha-thúi téng. "Lín ang chiâⁿ ui-hong. I ê thì-chhiu-chúi phīⁿ-tio̍h ná chhiūⁿ chîⁿ."

"In-ūi he kùi som-som," góa kan-tan ìn. Diego óa tī góa ê kha-thúi. Góa oan-io kā phok. Ū chi̍t-ê tāi-chì teh khùn-jiáu góa. Hit-ê tāi-chì hō͘ góa chiâⁿ hoân-ló.

"Samantha, lí ná m̄-chò goán āu-bú?" Jason kóng, kóng-kúi kúi lâi.

"Yi sī lí ê āu-î," góa kā kóng. "Lí ē-sái kiò yi Sam A-î."

"M̄-thang kiò góa Sam," yi kóng. "Yi án-ne kóng, sī in-ūi góa chiok chheh he."

"Lí tio̍h boah pha̍k-ji̍t ê krimù," góa kā Samantha kóng, "lí pha̍k kah siuⁿ o͘ lah." Góa ē-tàng kám-kak goán tng-teh hām-lo̍h bó͘-chióng chêng-kéng; goán ê ūn-lu̍t -- tō ná-chhiūⁿ ko͘-toaⁿ kap ko͘-toaⁿ ê tùi-péng, nn̄g-hāng tâng-chê lâi. Che mā chin-chiàⁿ ná-chhiūⁿ teh lak-lo̍h, hō͘ lâng hèng a̍h hō͘ lâng kiaⁿ, tio̍h khòaⁿ ē-bīn sī sáⁿ chiah koat-tēng. Góa bô jīn-ûi ū sáⁿ ē kā tòng-tiām. Góa kóng: "Kevin tùi góa ū oàn-hūn."

"Sáng sī Kevin?"

"Lâu Lenin sió chhùi-chhiu hit-ê lâng," góa kā Diego lia̍h khí-lâi khǹg tī góa ê kha-thâu-u. Yi khai-sí chīⁿ góa ê chhiú.

"Tio̍h, ba̍k-bâi koài-koài. Sī lí ín-khí oàn-hūn, a̍h-sī it-poaⁿ ê cha-bó͘ ín-khí ê?"

"Sáⁿ sī oàn-hūn?" Jason mn̄g.

Góa bô chhap i. "Góa siūⁿ sī in bó͘ ín-khí oàn-hūn. M̄-koh taⁿ he sī tùi it-poaⁿ ê cha-bó͘."

"Lín teh kóng sáⁿ-mih ah?" Jason oa̍t-sin khòaⁿ goán. "Che sī lín ê siang-seⁿ-á bi̍t-gí hioh?"

"M̄-sī!" goán nn̄g-ê tâng-chê kóng.

Samantha oa̍t ǹg Jason. "Oàn-hūn sī cha-po͘ chiok kah-ì chi̍t-ê cha-bó͘, soah tùi yi chin khek-po̍k."

M̄-chai ūi sáⁿ-mih, Jason soah bīn-âng. "Góa siūⁿ-kóng kàu saⁿ-nî-á tō bē koh án-ne ah."

"M̄-sī," Samantha kóng. "Pi-ai ah, m̄-sī án-ne. Tah-èng góa, lí bē án-ne. He chiâⁿ bô-hó-sńg."

"Oke," Jason kóng.

"Tio̍h hó-hó tùi-thāi lí kah-ì ê cha-bó͘. Sui-bóng che ē sió-khóa hông kiaⁿ tio̍h."

I kho̍k-kho̍k tìm-thâu, chin-chiàⁿ ū teh khip-siu. Chāi góa khòaⁿ, Samantha khó-lêng tng-teh kái-piàn i ê jîn-seng lō͘-sòaⁿ.

Yi kā siá MZ SAMANTHA 173 ê miâ-pâi the̍h khí-lâi, siūⁿ boeh kā pín tī yi ê bikini tòa-á. "Góa bô ūi thang khǹg che."

"Che tō sī lí m̄-chhēng siatchuh ê hiō-kó."

"Tán leh," Samantha chhiò-chhiò, "lí khòaⁿ-māi." Yi the̍h pín-chiam, tu̍h kòe yi he chhiú-āu-khiau ê jūn-phôe, koh kā khian hó-sè. Chhiú-kut oan chi̍t-ē, he tō tiâu tī hia ah.

"Oah," Jason kóng.

"Kiaⁿ-sí-lâng," góa kóng.

"Kiâⁿ," yi kā Jason kóng, ná kòa o͘-ba̍k-kiàⁿ, "góa tī lāi-bīn iáu ū iok-hōe." In kā mi̍h-kiāⁿ khioh hó, kiâⁿ ji̍p lí-koán. Kòe chi̍t-khùn, góa chiah hoat-hiān yi kā Diego lâu hō͘ góa. Samantha it-hiòng bē-hiáu hó-hó chiàu-kò͘ mi̍h-kiāⁿ.

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*

13. 你那毋做阮後母?

伊頭 taⁿ 起來. "誠好. 她若跳落斷崖, 你會綴無?"

Jason ê 頭 tìm-ah-tìm. "凡勢."

"媠 lah. 我欲落水 loh." Ivan 慢步行開, 蹽落水池, 雜誌提比腰較懸. 

伊離開了, Samantha 越 ǹg 我, 雙手疊 tī 她 ê 跤腿頂. "恁翁誠威風. 伊 ê 剃鬚水鼻著 ná 像錢."

"因為彼貴 som-som," 我簡單應. Diego 倚 tī 我 ê 跤腿. 我彎腰 kā 撲. 有一个代誌 teh 困擾我. 彼个代誌予我誠煩惱.

"Samantha, 你那毋做阮後母?" Jason 講, 講鬼鬼來.

"她是你 ê 後姨," 我 kā 講. "你會使叫她 Sam 阿姨."

"毋通叫我 Sam," 她講. "她 án-ne 講, 是因為我足慼 he."

"你著抹曝日 ê krimù," 我 kā Samantha 講, "你曝 kah siuⁿ 烏 lah." 我會當感覺阮 tng-teh 陷落某種情境; 阮 ê 韻律 -- tō ná 像孤單 kap 孤單 ê 對反, 兩項同齊來. 這 mā 真正 ná 像 teh lak 落, 予人興 a̍h 予人驚, 著看下面是啥才決定. 我無認為有啥會 kā 擋恬. 我講: "Kevin 對我有怨恨."

"Sáng 是 Kevin?"

"留 Lenin 小喙鬚彼个人," 我 kā Diego 掠起來囥 tī 我 ê 跤頭趺. 她開始舐我 ê 手.

"著, 目眉怪怪. 是你引起怨恨, a̍h 是一般 ê 查某引起 ê?"

"啥是怨恨?" Jason 問.

我無 chhap 伊. "我想是 in 某引起怨恨. M̄-koh 今彼是對一般 ê 查某."

"恁 teh 講啥物 ah?" Jason 越身看阮. "這是恁 ê 雙生仔密語 hioh?"

"毋是!" 阮兩个同齊講.

Samantha 越 ǹg Jason. "怨恨是查埔足佮意一个查某, 煞對她真刻薄."

毋知為啥物, Jason 煞面紅. "我想講到三年仔 tō 袂 koh án-ne ah."

"毋是," Samantha 講. "悲哀 ah, 毋是 án-ne. 答應我, 你袂 án-ne. 彼誠無好耍."

"Oke," Jason 講.

"著好好對待你佮意 ê 查某. 雖罔這會小可 hông 驚著."

伊 kho̍k-kho̍k tìm 頭, 真正有 teh 吸收. 在我看, Samantha 可能 tng-teh 改變伊 ê 人生路線.

她 kā 寫 MZ SAMANTHA 173 ê 名牌提起來, 想欲 kā 鉼 tī 她 ê bikini 帶仔. "我無位通囥這."

"這 tō 是你毋穿 siatchuh ê 後果."

"等 leh," Samantha 笑笑, "你看覓." 她提鉼針, 揬過她 he 手後蹺 ê 韌皮, koh kā 圈好勢. 手骨彎一下, he tō 牢 tī hia ah.

"Oah," Jason 講.

"驚死人," 我講.

"行," 她 kā Jason 講, ná 掛烏目鏡, "我 tī 內面猶有約會." In kā 物件抾好, 行入旅館. 過一睏, 我才發現她 kā Diego 留予我. Samantha 一向袂曉好好照顧物件.

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*

13.

He looks up. "That's bright. If she jumped off a cliff, would you follow?"

Jason cocks his head. "Maybe."

"Beautiful. I'm going in the water." Ivan ambles off and wades into the pool, holding his magazine above his waist.

As soon as he's gone Samantha turns to me, her hands folded in her lap. "Your husband is intimidating. His aftershave smells like money."

"That's because it's expensive," I snap. Diego is leaning against my leg. I bend down to pet her. Something is bothering me. Something is bothering me a lot.

"Samantha, why can't you be my stepmom?" Jason says, right on cue.

"She's your stepaunt," I tell him. "You can call her Auntie Sam."

"Don't call me Sam," she says. "She's saying that because I hate it."

"You should wear sunscreen," I tell Samantha, "you're too tan." I can feel us falling into something; our rhythm -- it's like loneliness and the antithesis of loneliness at once. And it really is like falling, exciting or terrifying, depending on what's below. I don't think there's any stopping it. I say: "Kevin has a hate-crush on me."

"Who's Kevin?"

"The one with the little Lenin beard." I pick up Diego and put her in my lap. She starts licking my hand.

"Right, with the funny eyebrows. Did you engender the hate, or is it women in general?"

"What's a hate-crush?" Jason asks.

I ignore him. "I think his wife engendered the hate. But now it's directed at women in general."

"What are you guys talking about?" Jason looks at us sideways. "Is this your secret twin language?"

"No!" we both say, in unison.

Samantha turns to Jason. "A hate-crush is when a man likes a woman a lot, so he's mean to her."

For some reason, this makes Jason blush. "I thought that was over in third grade."

"No," Samantha says. "Sadly, no. Promise me you won't do it. It's extremely uncool."

"Okay," Jason says.

"Be nice to the girls you like. Even if it's a little scary."

He's nodding, really soaking it in. It occurs to me that Samantha may be changing the course of his entire life.

She holds up the nametag that says MZ SAMANTHA 173 and tries to pin it to her bikini strap. "I don't have anywhere to put this."

"That's what you get for not wearing a shirt."

"Wait," Samantha smiles, "check this out." She takes the pin and pushes it through the tough skin of her outer elbow. She fastens the clasp. It stays there as she flexes her arm.

"Wow," says Jason.

"That's disgusting," I say.

"Come on," she tells Jason, putting on her sunglasses, "I have an appointment on the inside." They gather their things and go into the hotel. It takes me a while to realize she's left Diego with me. Samantha never has been very good at taking care of things.

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