5. Kám-kak í-keng tòe lâng ē-tio̍h
Káu-goe̍h 21! LILLY SEⁿ-JI̍T (!)
Ū-ê ji̍t-chí lí kám-kak oân-bí: Che tō sī seng-oa̍h ê ì-gī. Kàu lāu, kám-kak jîn-seng ū-ta̍t, in-ūi góa ū thé-giām chit-ê oân-bí ê ji̍t-chí.
Kin-á-ji̍t tō sī án-ne ê chi̍t-kang.
Chá-khí, gín-á chiàu-siông khì ha̍k-hāu. Greenway tī 10 tiám lâi. Chhù-tiâⁿ tī 2 tiám oân-sêng (!). Mûi-kùi hó-sè, phùn-chôaⁿ hó-sè, sió-lō͘ hó-sè. SK trakuh tī 3 tiám lâi. SK lo̍h trakuh, pháiⁿ-sè pháiⁿ-sè khiā tī ûi-lî piⁿ, tán an-chong chi-kè. Chi-kè bē-bái. Kéng "Lexington" (tiong-téng kè-siàu): Chheⁿ-tâng ê khiā-thiāu tòa Si̍t-bîn Sî-kî ê thiāu-bō, EzyReleese hoâiⁿ-koaiⁿ.
SK í-keng chhēng hó pe̍h phâu. Mikro-sòaⁿ chhng hó. SK chhiú sang-sang tēⁿ mikro-sòaⁿ, chhiūⁿ peh-soaⁿ ê lâng tēⁿ soh-á án-ne. Put-kò chia bô soaⁿ (!). Chi̍t-ê khû tio̍h, kî-thaⁿ lé-māu/kín-tiuⁿ khiā tio̍h, chi̍t-ê teh phīⁿ sin ê mûi-kùi. Yi kiaⁿ-kiaⁿ án-ne ia̍t-chhiú. Kî-thaⁿ lâng kap yi kóng-ōe, ká-ná sī kóng, Hé, bē-sái ia̍t-chhiú. M̄-koh góa kā ia̍t tò-tńg, ì-sù sī, tī goán chia, ia̍t-chhiú O.K.
I-seng i-chiàu hoat-lu̍t kiám-cha an-chong. Hiah siàu-liân! Khòaⁿ tio̍h eng-kai tī Wendy Chhan-thiaⁿ phah-kang. I kóng, goán ē-kham-tit khòaⁿ tiàu-khí bô. I hō͘ góa chi̍t-ê àm-sī ê gán-sîn, koh sóa kòe khòaⁿ Pam, ì-sù sī, Lín bó͘ ē bô-táⁿ bô? Pam sió-khóa bô-táⁿ. Ū-sî bô ài chhú-lí chheⁿ ke-bah. Góa tō kóng, lán jip lâi-khì, chhah ke-nn̄g-ko ê la̍h-chek.
Bô kú, ū lâng khok mn̂g: i-seng kóng tiàu-khí í-keng hó-sè.
Góa: Goán ē-sái khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē bô?
I: Bô būn-tê.
Goán chhut-khì. SK í-keng khí khì ah, liōng-iok lī tē 3 chhioh, bīn chhiò-chhiò, iô-tāng tī bî-hong nih. Iû tò-pêng hiòng chiàⁿ-pêng ê sūn-sī: Tami (Laos), Gwen (Moldova), Lisa (Somalia), Betty (Philippin). Hāu-kó chin kiaⁿ-lâng. In-ūi chhiâng-chāi khòaⁿ ū-chîⁿ lâng ê tiâⁿ chit-khoán ê an-pâi, taⁿ goán ê tiâⁿ hut-jiân mā khòaⁿ tio̍h hó-gia̍h khí-lâi, kám-kak ka-tī bô kāng ah, kám-kak chiong-kî-bóe í-keng tòe lâng mā tòe sî-tāi ē-tio̍h ah.
Chúi-tî chin chán. Mûi-kùi chin chán. Sió-lō͘, sio-chúi e̍k-tî lóng chán.
Tāi-chì lóng an-pâi thò-tòng.
Siūⁿ bē kàu, goán í-keng oân-sêng jīm-bū ah.
Khì ha̍k-hāu chiap gín-á. Lilly bīn chhàu-chhàu, in-ūi sī yi ê seⁿ-ji̍t, chia̍h chá-tǹg ê sî bô-lâng kā kóng Seⁿ-ji̍t Khoài-lo̍k, bô party, mā iáu bô lé-mi̍h.
Hit-sî, tī chhù nih: Pam kóaⁿ-kín-kín teh chong-sek. Chia̍h-mi̍h lâi ah (Snakey ê hang-bah). Pêng-iú lâi ah. Só͘-í, Lilly lo̍h chhia ê sî, yi khòaⁿ tio̍h ê sî choân sin ê tiâⁿ, ha̍k-hāu lâi ê pêng-iú chē móa-móa tī sin ê óa-kīn sio-chúi e̍k-tî ê iá-chhan toh, sin an-pâi ê 4-ê SK, Lilly chin-chiàⁿ hoaⁿ-hí kah ba̍k-sái lâu bē thêng!
Sûi tio̍h hún-âng pau-chong phah-khui, koh khah chē ê ba̍k-sái lâu lo̍h, "Teh hioh-khùn ê hiong-béng" ka-siōng "Ko͘-niû tha̍k kó͘ hō͘ sió-mōe thiaⁿ" lóng thiah khui ah. Góa ē-kì-tit yi kah-ì ê chèng-khak tiau-siōng, Lilly tōa kám-tōng. Ka-siōng "Summer Daze" (tiò-hî ê liû-lōng sió-thiú-á, $380), che yi bô iau-kiû (chí sī piáu-sī khóng-khài). Koh ū kúi-ā hôe ê ba̍k-sái, sio-lám, tī pêng-iú bīn-chêng, ká-ná tùi goán ê kám-kek/kám-chêng khah tōa kòe kiaⁿ pêng-iú ê chek-pī.
Party ê lâng-kheh tī súi tang-tang ê sin chhù-tiâⁿ sńg pêng-siông ê iû-hì, Crack the Whip (Sut-pian, chi̍t-chióng iû-hì), tt, tt. Gín-á lóng hoaⁿ-hí, kám-siā goán ê iau-chhiáⁿ. Kúi-ê-á kóng in kah-ì goán ê tiâⁿ. Kúi-ā ê pē-bú lâu lo̍h-lâi, mā kóng in kah-ì goán ê tiâⁿ.
Iáu-ū, Thiⁿ ah, ta̍k-lâng lī-khui liáu, lí khòaⁿ Lilly ê hit-ê piáu-chêng!
Góa chai, yi ē éng-oán ē-kì-tit kin-á-ji̍t.
Kan-ta chi̍t-ê sió-sió ê ûi-hām. Party liáu, teh chéng-lí ê sî, Eva chàm-kha kiâⁿ khui, chhut chho͘-chhiú khì lia̍h niau-á, siūⁿ-khì ê sî yi ū-sî ē án-ne. Niau kā yi jiàu chi̍t-ē, cháu khì Ferber hia, koh tak Ferber. Ferber chông cháu, khì lòng tio̍h toh-á, bé hō͘ Lilly ê mûi-kùi lak lo̍h-lâi kòng tio̍h Ferber.
Goán tī saⁿ-kūi chhōe tio̍h Eva.
Pam: Chhin-ài-ê, chhin-ài-ê, sī án-nóa sioh?
Eva: Góa bô kah-ì. Án-ne bô hó.
Thomas (phō niau-á cháu kòe-lâi, tián i sī niau ê chú-lâng): Yin kah-ì án-ne, Eva. Sī yin sin-chhéng boeh án-ne chò.
Pam: Tī yin ê kò͘-hiong, ki-hōe bô hiah-nī hó.
Che pang-chō͘ yin chiàu-kò͘ yin só͘ ài ê lâng.
Eva bīn hiòng piah, ē-tûn chhun-chhun, boeh khàu ê khoán.
Hit-sî, góa ū chi̍t-ê siūⁿ-hoat: Khì chàu-kha, tha̍k yin ê chū-ngó͘ kài-siāu. Ai-ah. Pí góa siūⁿ ê khah chha: Laos lâng (Tami) ē lâi sin-chhéng, in-ūi ū nn̄g-ê a-chí í-keng tī tê-tiàm-á. Moldova lâng (Gwen) ê piáu-chí siūⁿ-kóng boeh khì Tek-kok chò sé thang-á kang, m̄-koh m̄-sī: tī Kuwait chò seks lô͘-lē (!). Somalia lâng (Lisa) chhin-ba̍k khòaⁿ lāu-pē + sió-mōe in-ūi aids /ai-chir/ lâi sí, tī kāng hit-keng chháu-chhù, tī kāng chi̍t-nî. Philippin lâng (Betty) ū chi̍t-ê sió-tī "tiān-náu chin gâu," pē-bú bô chîⁿ hō͘ i tha̍k ko-tiong, tio̍h hām kî-thaⁿ saⁿ ke-hóe tòa kāng keng sió chháu-chhù, in-ūi in ka-tī ê sió chháu-chhù tī tē-tāng sî chhu lo̍h soaⁿ-phiâⁿ.
Góa kéng "Betty," tńg lâi saⁿ-tû, tōa-siaⁿ tha̍k "Betty."
Góa: Án-ne ū pang-chō͘ bô? Taⁿ lí liáu-kái bô? Lí kám siūⁿ ē-kàu, yi ê sió-tī taⁿ teh tha̍k hó ê ha̍k-hāu, in-ūi ū yi, mā in-ūi ū lán?
Eva: Lán nā boeh kā yin pang-bâng, ná m̄ ti̍t-chiap hō͘ yin chîⁿ?
Góa: Oh, chhin-ài-ê.
Pam: Lán lâi kā khòaⁿ chi̍t-ē. Lán lâi khòaⁿ yin sī-m̄-sī khòaⁿ-tio̍h siong-sim.
(Bô khòaⁿ-tio̍h siong-sim. Sū-si̍t yin sī chēng-chēng tī goe̍h-kng-ē khai-káng.)
Tī thang-á piⁿ, Eva tiām-tiām. Ná chhim chéⁿ. Móa-móa ê kám-sèng. Iáu chiah sè, tō hiah-nī bín-kám. Sī siōng siān-liông ê gín-á. Ū siōng tōa ê sim. Ū chi̍t-kái, iáu sè-hàn ê sî, hoat-hiān sí chiáu-á tī tiâⁿ nih, kā the̍h khì khǹg tī chhian-chhiu kè ê chhu-pang, án-ne thang "khòaⁿ chhù-nih ê lâng." Goán phiaⁿ tiāu kū iô-í, yi khàu, kóng í-á kā yi kóng, i boeh tī tē-hā-sek kòe it-seng.
M̄-koh góa tam-sim, Pam mā tam-sim: gín-á nā siuⁿ bín-kám, gín-á chhut sè-kài, sè-kài ē ó͘ gín-á ê tn̂g-tō͘, its su-iàu ū kian-kiông ê thài-tō͘.
Lēng-gōa, Lilly e-àm chò chi̍t-khùi kā só͘-ū ê kám-siā phe siá hó, bô lâng kiò, ka-tī kā chàu-kha lù chheng-khì, koh gia̍h chhiú-tiān khì tiâⁿ, kō͘ sin ê sái-thio chheng Ferber ê só͘-chāi, he sái-thio hián-jiân sī yi khiâ kha-ta̍h-chhia tī Fas Mart kō͘ ka-tī ê chîⁿ bé ê.
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5. 感覺已經綴人會著
九月 21! LILLY 生日 (!)
有 ê 日子你感覺完美: 這就是生活 ê 意義. 到老, 感覺人生有值, 因為我有體驗這个完美 ê 日子.
今仔日就是 án-ne ê 一工.
早起, 囡仔照常去學校. Greenway tī 10 點來. 厝埕 tī 2 點完成 (!). 玫瑰好勢, 噴泉好勢, 小路好勢. SK trakuh tī 3 點來. SK 落 trakuh, 歹勢歹勢徛 tī 圍籬邊, 等安裝支架. 支架袂䆀. 揀 "Lexington" (中等價數): 青銅 ê 徛柱帶殖民時期 ê 柱帽, EzyReleese 橫杆.
SK 已經穿好白袍. Mikro 線穿好. SK 手鬆鬆捏 mikro 線, 像 peh 山 ê 人捏索仔 án-ne. 不過 chia 無山 (!). 一个跍著, 其他禮貌/緊張徛著, 一个 teh 鼻新 ê 玫瑰. 她驚驚 án-ne 擛手. 其他人 kap 她講話, ká-ná 是講, Hé, 袂使擛手. M̄-koh 我 kā 擛倒轉, 意思是, tī 阮 chia, 擛手 O.K.
醫生依照法律檢查安裝. Hiah 少年! 看著應該 tī Wendy 餐廳拍工. 伊講, 阮會堪得看吊起無. 伊予我一个暗示 ê 眼神, koh 徙過看 Pam, 意思是, 恁某會無膽無? Pam 小可無膽. 有時無愛處理生雞肉. 我 tō 講, 咱入來去, 插雞卵糕 ê 蠟燭.
無久, 有人硞門: 醫生講吊起已經好勢.
我: 阮會使看一下無?
伊: 無問題.
阮出去. SK 已經起去 ah, 量約離地 3 尺, 面笑笑, 搖動 tī 微風 nih. 由倒爿向正爿 ê 順序: Tami (Laos), Gwen (Moldova), Lisa (Somalia), Betty (Philippin). 效果真驚人. 因為常在看有錢人 ê 埕這款 ê 安排, 今阮 ê 埕忽然 mā 看著好額起來, 感覺 ka-tī 無仝 ah, 感覺終其尾已經綴人 mā 綴時代會著 ah.
水池真讚. 玫瑰真讚. 小路, 燒水浴池攏讚.
代誌攏安排妥當.
想袂到, 阮已經完成任務 ah.
去學校接囡仔. Lilly 面臭臭, 因為是她 ê 生日, 食早頓 ê 時無人 kā 講生日快樂, 無 party, mā 猶無禮物.
彼時, tī 厝 nih: Pam 趕緊緊 teh 裝飾. 食物來 ah (Snakey ê 烘肉). 朋友來 ah. 所以, Lilly 落車 ê 時, 她看著 ê 時全新 ê 埕, 學校來 ê 朋友坐滿滿 tī 新 ê 倚近燒水浴池 ê 野餐桌, 新安排 ê 4 个 SK, Lilly 真正歡喜 kah 目屎流袂停!
隨著粉紅包裝拍開, koh 較濟 ê 目屎流落, "Teh 歇睏 ê 兇猛" 加上 "姑娘讀古予小妹聽" 攏拆開 ah. 我會記得她佮意 ê 正確雕像, Lilly 大感動. 加上 "Summer Daze" (釣魚 ê 流浪小丑仔, $380), 這她無要求 (只是表示慷慨). Koh 有幾若回 ê 目屎, 相攬, tī 朋友面前, ká-ná 對阮 ê 感激/感情較大過驚朋友 ê 責備.
Party ê 人客 tī 媠 tang-tang ê 新厝埕耍平常 ê 遊戲, Crack the Whip (摔鞭, 一種遊戲), tt, tt. 囡仔攏歡喜, 感謝阮 ê 邀請. 幾个仔講 in 佮意阮 ê 埕. 幾若个爸母留落來, mā 講 in 佮意阮 ê 埕.
猶有, 天 ah, 逐人離開了, 你看 Lilly ê 彼个表情!
我知, 她會永遠會記得今仔日.
干焦一个小小 ê 遺憾. Party 了, teh 整理 ê 時, Eva chàm 跤行開, 出粗手去掠貓仔, 受氣 ê 時她有時會 án-ne. 貓 kā 她抓一下, 走去 Ferber hia, koh 觸 Ferber. Ferber 傱走, 去挵著桌仔, 買予 Lilly ê 玫瑰 lak 落來摃著 Ferber.
阮 tī 衫櫃揣著 Eva.
Pam: 親愛 ê, 親愛 ê, 是按怎 sioh?
Eva: 我無佮意. Án-ne 無好.
Thomas (抱貓仔走過來, 展伊是貓 ê 主人): 姻佮意 án-ne, Eva. 是姻申請欲 án-ne 做.
Pam: Tī 姻 ê 故鄉, 機會無 hiah-nī 好.
我: 這幫助姻照顧姻所愛 ê 人.
Eva 面向壁, 下唇伸伸, 欲哭 ê 款.
彼時, 我有一个想法: 去灶跤, 讀姻 ê 自我介紹. Ai-ah. 比我想 ê 較差: Laos 人 (Tami) 會來申請, 因為有兩个阿姊已經 tī 茶店仔. Moldova 人 (Gwen) ê 表姊想講欲去德國做洗窗仔工, m̄-koh 毋是: tī Kuwait 做 seks 奴隸 (!). Somalia 人 (Lisa) 親目看老爸 + 小妹因為 aids /ai-chir/ 來死, tī 仝彼間草厝, tī 仝一年. Philippin 人 (Betty) 有一个小弟 "電腦真 gâu," 爸母無錢予伊讀高中, 著和其他三家伙蹛仝間小草厝, 因為 in ka-tī ê 小草厝 tī 地動時趨落山坪.
我揀 "Betty," 轉來衫櫥, 大聲讀 "Betty."
我: Án-ne 有幫助無? 今你了解無? 你敢想會到, 她 ê 小弟今 teh 讀好 ê 學校, 因為有她, mā 因為有咱?
Eva: 咱若欲 kā 姻幫忙, 那毋直接予姻錢?
我: Oh, 親愛 ê.
Pam: 咱來 kā 看一下. 咱來看姻是毋是看著傷心.
(無看著傷心. 事實姻是靜靜 tī 月光下開講.)
Tī 窗仔邊, Eva 恬恬. Ná 深井. 滿滿 ê 感性. 猶 chiah 細, tō hiah-nī 敏感. 是上善良 ê 囡仔. 有上大 ê 心. 有一改, 猶細漢 ê 時, 發現死鳥仔 tī 埕 nih, kā 提去囥 tī 韆鞦架 ê 趨枋, án-ne 通 "看厝 nih ê 人." 阮抨掉舊搖椅, 她哭, 講椅仔 kā 她講, 伊欲 tī 地下室過一生.
M̄-koh 我擔心, Pam mā 擔心: 囡仔若 siuⁿ 敏感, 囡仔出世界, 世界會挖囡仔 ê 腸肚, its 需要有堅強 ê 態度.
另外, Lilly 下暗做一氣 kā 所有 ê 感謝批寫好, 無人叫, ka-tī kā 灶跤 lù 清氣, koh 攑手電去埕, kō͘ 新 ê 屎挑清 Ferber ê 所在, 彼屎挑顯然是她騎跤踏車 tī Fas Mart kō͘ ka-tī ê 錢買 ê.
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5.
SEPTEMBER 21st! LILLY B-DAY(!)
There are days so perfect you feel: This is what life about. When old, will feel whole life worth it, because I got to experience this perfect day.
Today that kind of day.
In morning, kids go off to school per usual. Greenway comes at ten. Yard done by two (!). Roses in, fountain in, pathway in. SG truck arrives at three. SGs exit truck, stand shyly near fence while rack installed. Rack nice. Opted for “Lexington” (midrange in terms of price): bronze uprights w/ Colonial caps, EzyReleese levers.
SGs already in white smocks. Microline strung through. SGs holding microline slack in hands, like mountain climbers holding rope. Only no mountain (!). One squatting, others standing polite/nervous, one sniffing new roses. She gives timid wave. Other says something to her, like, Hey, not supposed to wave. But I wave back, like, In this household, is O.K. to wave.
Doctor monitors installation by law. So young! Looks like should be working at Wendy’s. Says we can watch hoist or not. Gives me meaningful look, cuts eyes at Pam, as in, Wife squeamish? Pam somewhat squeamish. Sometimes does not like to handle raw chicken. I say, Let’s go inside, put candles on cake.
Soon, knock on door: doctor says hoist all done.
Me: So can we have a look?
Him: Totally.
We step out. SGs up now, approx. three feet off ground, smiling, swaying in slight breeze. Order, left to right: Tami (Laos), Gwen (Moldova), Lisa (Somalia), Betty (Philippines). Effect amazing. Having so often seen similar configuration in yards of others more affluent makes own yard seem suddenly affluent, you feel different about self, as if at last in step with peers and time in which living.
Pond great. Roses great. Path, hot tub great.
Everything set.
Could not believe we had pulled this off.
Picked kids up at school. Lilly all hangdog because her b-day and no one said Happy B-day at breakfast, and no party and no gifts so far.
Meanwhile, at home: Pam scrambling to decorate. Food delivered (BBQ from Snakey’s). Friends arrive. So when Lilly gets out of car what does she see but whole new yard full of friends from school sitting at new picnic table near new hot tub, and new line of four SGs, and Lilly literally bursts into tears of happiness!
Then more tears as shiny pink packages unwrapped, “Resting Fierceness” plus “Girl Reading to Little Sister” revealed. Lilly touched I remembered exact figurines. Plus “Summer Daze” (hobo-clown fishing ($380)), which she hadn’t even requested (just to prove largesse). Several more waves of happy tears, hugs, right in front of friends, as if gratitude/affection for us greater than fear of rebuke from friends.
Party guests played usual games, Crack the Whip, etc., etc., in beautiful new yard. Kids joyful, thanked us for inviting. Several said they loved yard. Several parents lingered after, saying they loved yard.
And, my God, the look on Lilly’s face as all left!
Know she will always remember today.
Only one slight negative: After party, during cleanup, Eva stomps away, picks up cat too roughly, the way she sometimes does when mad. Cat scratches her, runs over to Ferber, claws Ferber. Ferber dashes away, stumbles into table, roses bought for Lilly crash down on Ferber.
We find Eva in closet.
Pam: Sweetie, sweetie, what is it?
Eva: I don’t like it. It’s not nice.
Thomas (rushing over with cat to show he is master of cat): They want to, Eva. They like applied for it.
Pam: Where they’re from, the opportunities are not so good.
Me: It helps them take care of the people they love.
Eva facing wall, lower lip out in her pre-crying way.
Then I get idea: Go to kitchen, page through Personal Statements. Yikes. Worse than I thought: Laotian (Tami) applied due to two sisters already in brothels. Moldovan (Gwen) has cousin who thought she was becoming window-washer in Germany, but no: sex slave in Kuwait (!). Somali (Lisa) watched father + little sister die of aids, same tiny thatch hut, same year. Filipina (Betty) has little brother “very skilled for computer,” parents cannot afford high school, have lived in tiny lean-to with three other families since their own tiny lean-to slid down hillside in earthquake.
I opt for “Betty,” go back to closet, read “Betty” aloud.
Me: Does that help? Do you understand now? Can you kind of imagine her little brother in a good school, because of her, because of us?
Eva: If we want to help them, why can’t we just give them the money?
Me: Oh, sweetie.
Pam: Let’s go look. Let’s see do they look sad.
(Do not look sad. Are in fact quietly chatting in moonlight.)
At window, Eva quiet. Deep well. So sensitive. Even when tiny, Eva sensitive. Kindest kid. Biggest heart. Once, when little, found dead bird in yard and placed on swing-set slide, so it could “see him fambly.” Cried when we threw out old rocking chair, claiming it told her it wanted to live out rest of life in basement.
But I worry, Pam worries: if kid too sensitive, kid goes out in world, world rips kid’s guts out, i.e., some toughness req’d?
Lilly, on other hand, wrote all thank-you notes tonight in one sitting, mopped kitchen without being asked, then was out in yard w/ flashlight, picking up Ferber area with new poop-scoop she apparently rode on bike to buy w/ own money at Fas Mart (!).
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